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Found out my husband's a con man!

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hurtBYliar

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? Texas
My husband has always been very openly affectionate and has told me daily that he loves me. This is why I'm still with him after 10 years of his lies. Recently I've uncovered some pretty big lies (that I really don't want to get into here--just trust me that they're big). Until recently, I just thought that he felt inadequate and that he merely forgot about his previous promises to not spend so much money and to not charge on our credit cards. I now know that he never meant to keep his promises and wanted to string me along for as long as he could. I have been nothing but good to him and have given him many, many chances to turn his spending habits around. Anyway, in light of the recent discoveries, I have to divorce him. It's so hard because I love him, but I now realize that con men can't be con men if you don't believe them!

Based on all I know, he will UNDOUBTEDLY not pay any debts that a divorce would deem him to pay. I see my future with there being NO WAY that I can survive the emotional turmoil and embarrassment of this divorce while also having to pay 1/2 the debts plus his 1/2 when credit collectors then approach me due to him not paying--as is how it would be here in Texas. I have tried EVERYTHING I can to get his spending under control over the years and wish I'd just left him 10 yrs ago! I had NO DEBT prior to marriage and now we have NO SAVINGS, we’re renting, both cars are breaking down and are under loans, and I can honestly say he's single-handedly caused all of our debt!

(BTW, the cars are joint loans and the credit cards are individual except that he is listed as “authorized user” on my cards—of course all charges were done w/ his auth user cards resulting in much more debt in my name than his when all is added up!) Again, knowing what I know now, he will definitely default on his debts in the future.

Knowing that TX is a community property state and the credit card companies can collect his debts from me...I'm trying to find a way to survive, get the happy life that I deserve, and not have to go into my middle age with no pride, no home, no life, nothing! We've lived in TX for the last 5 years and have considered moving. If I get the courage to fight fire with fire and string him along to another state that is not community property before initiating separation/divorce, is there a chance that his creditors would not be able to collect from me? Would the creditors be limited to who they can collect from, for his debts incurred throughout our 10 year marriage, based on our residency in a non-community property state at the time of our divorce?
 


hurtBYliar said:
What is the name of your state? Texas
My husband has always been very openly affectionate and has told me daily that he loves me. This is why I'm still with him after 10 years of his lies. Recently I've uncovered some pretty big lies (that I really don't want to get into here--just trust me that they're big). Until recently, I just thought that he felt inadequate and that he merely forgot about his previous promises to not spend so much money and to not charge on our credit cards. I now know that he never meant to keep his promises and wanted to string me along for as long as he could. I have been nothing but good to him and have given him many, many chances to turn his spending habits around. Anyway, in light of the recent discoveries, I have to divorce him. It's so hard because I love him, but I now realize that con men can't be con men if you don't believe them!

Based on all I know, he will UNDOUBTEDLY not pay any debts that a divorce would deem him to pay. I see my future with there being NO WAY that I can survive the emotional turmoil and embarrassment of this divorce while also having to pay 1/2 the debts plus his 1/2 when credit collectors then approach me due to him not paying--as is how it would be here in Texas. I have tried EVERYTHING I can to get his spending under control over the years and wish I'd just left him 10 yrs ago! I had NO DEBT prior to marriage and now we have NO SAVINGS, we’re renting, both cars are breaking down and are under loans, and I can honestly say he's single-handedly caused all of our debt!

(BTW, the cars are joint loans and the credit cards are individual except that he is listed as “authorized user” on my cards—of course all charges were done w/ his auth user cards resulting in much more debt in my name than his when all is added up!) Again, knowing what I know now, he will definitely default on his debts in the future.

Knowing that TX is a community property state and the credit card companies can collect his debts from me...I'm trying to find a way to survive, get the happy life that I deserve, and not have to go into my middle age with no pride, no home, no life, nothing! We've lived in TX for the last 5 years and have considered moving. If I get the courage to fight fire with fire and string him along to another state that is not community property before initiating separation/divorce, is there a chance that his creditors would not be able to collect from me? Would the creditors be limited to who they can collect from, for his debts incurred throughout our 10 year marriage, based on our residency in a non-community property state at the time of our divorce?
My ex ruined her credit before I met her. After marrying her, I added her to all of my cards and joint on some. Same drill, she maxed them out. Results of divorce : she gets house, paid off car (by me,before her). I took all debt to protect my credit from being ruined by non-payment. Yes, they will come after you after he fails to pay and ruins your credit.

**************......Welcome to the US Bankruptcy Court**************.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
hurtBYliar said:
What is the name of your state? Texas
My husband has always been very openly affectionate and has told me daily that he loves me. This is why I'm still with him after 10 years of his lies. Recently I've uncovered some pretty big lies (that I really don't want to get into here--just trust me that they're big). Until recently, I just thought that he felt inadequate and that he merely forgot about his previous promises to not spend so much money and to not charge on our credit cards. I now know that he never meant to keep his promises and wanted to string me along for as long as he could. I have been nothing but good to him and have given him many, many chances to turn his spending habits around. Anyway, in light of the recent discoveries, I have to divorce him. It's so hard because I love him, but I now realize that con men can't be con men if you don't believe them!

Based on all I know, he will UNDOUBTEDLY not pay any debts that a divorce would deem him to pay. I see my future with there being NO WAY that I can survive the emotional turmoil and embarrassment of this divorce while also having to pay 1/2 the debts plus his 1/2 when credit collectors then approach me due to him not paying--as is how it would be here in Texas. I have tried EVERYTHING I can to get his spending under control over the years and wish I'd just left him 10 yrs ago! I had NO DEBT prior to marriage and now we have NO SAVINGS, we’re renting, both cars are breaking down and are under loans, and I can honestly say he's single-handedly caused all of our debt!

(BTW, the cars are joint loans and the credit cards are individual except that he is listed as “authorized user” on my cards—of course all charges were done w/ his auth user cards resulting in much more debt in my name than his when all is added up!) Again, knowing what I know now, he will definitely default on his debts in the future.

Knowing that TX is a community property state and the credit card companies can collect his debts from me...I'm trying to find a way to survive, get the happy life that I deserve, and not have to go into my middle age with no pride, no home, no life, nothing! We've lived in TX for the last 5 years and have considered moving. If I get the courage to fight fire with fire and string him along to another state that is not community property before initiating separation/divorce, is there a chance that his creditors would not be able to collect from me? Would the creditors be limited to who they can collect from, for his debts incurred throughout our 10 year marriage, based on our residency in a non-community property state at the time of our divorce?
Moving isn't guaranteed to help you, but it might. Moving to someplace where you have family support certainly could help a lot, particularly if there are children.

It also isn't guaranteed that creditors will come after you for any debt that is listed in his name only, even if you are in a community property state. However, any debt that has your name attached to it, will have the creditors going after you (if he doesn't pay) no matter what state you are in. The creditors are not parties to your divorce, and are bound only by the terms of the credit agreements/contracts.
 

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