stoploss said:
OK guys, I will try to be as brief as possible, but this is a little convoluted.
We had a very good marriage for a long time. We started this business after we were married and we both worked very long, grueling hours to build it. He claims to own all the stock in the corporation. I am the secretary/treasurer, but since the affair have been consistantly denied access to the books.
And although you never answered the specific question as to the exact structure of the corporation, From the above I assume it is a corporation therefore, please return and verify EXACTLY HOW the business is incorporated.
Before he started having the affair we almost had our house and 14 acres paid off. However, he decided we needed to refinance and put the money into the business to build on to it so now the house is mortgaged to the hilt. He was very convincing and this is before I found out about the affair.
And that means that he converted the 'business' to a marital asset, regardless of how it is held.
We had two life insurance policies that gained cash value and were to be for our retirement. I have found that he has thrown the communication from the insurance companies into the trash and that is how I found out he withdrew any and all cash value. It appears that he is systematically converting assets into cash.
And the answer to whether or not this was a conversion is dependent on HOW the policies are held and who purchased them.
From reading your response it seems that regardless, they were converted to marital assets upon cashing them out.
We keep separate bank accounts so I don't really know where all the cash is going. I did find out that he ran over $80,000 from a customer through his own bank account, kept part of the money and reimbursed the company for part. This should have gone through the company books and is not the only funds that he has done this way. This is a corporation and sales tax, etc. needs to be paid on these amounts.
In that case, WHAT TYPE of corporation is it? And have you filed a complaint with the secretary of state's office?
This is what I am calling fraud as I found some "fake" invoices that don't even correspond to our invoice numbering system nor were they generated through our bookkeeping software, but generated on her computer.
And my question is, why haven't you turned this over to the District Attorney?
I guess I am snooping, but they have both lied to me and I felt that age-old survival mode coming on.
I am still working ridiculous hours to keep things going. Sometimes, due to impossible deadlines, I work as much as 36 hours straight without a break. Sometimes weeks on end without a day off. He said he wanted to work things out after I discovered what was going on, but I have found evidence that this affair is still going on. It is not just the assets or possible liability - I have lost my best friend and am pretty devastated. I feel that he is planning to leave me for her.
All of this is irrelevant to the issue at hand which is protecting assets that belong to you.
I am not a money-grubbing, vindictive person. I just don't want to be left with hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt at the age of 57 and have to start over with nothing. I also don't want to "go for the throat" as a lot of women do. I would like to have some of the furniture, a car to drive and the assurance that this debt that they have racked up does not fall completely on my shoulders. I have invested some of my own money into the company and would like to have at least part of that back. It wouldn't be much, but I might be able to get a new start that way. They can keep the business and all his "toys". I feel they are going to a whole lot of trouble over nothing to play their games of deceit and siphon money from the company.
I have found out that this is what he did to his previous wife. He and I were both divorced when we met and I did not know that about him. Evidently, he did this and was able to then come up with a "devalued" appraisal of the business he had then. He signed a note to her for $20,000 and then promptly filed for bankruptcy so he would not have to pay her the money. I found out that he bragged about this and was also having an affair with his office manager at that time (not the same one he is having the affair with now). He signed ownership of his boat, car etc. over to his office manager to hide assets from this previous wife. He was coming out of banruptcy and had nothing when I met him and we built all that we have together side-by-side.
Again, irrelevant to the issues at hand.
We have been married for 19 years now. I trusted him completely so he has always made all the business decisions.
Anyway, that's most of the story. I don't know what other details are needed for you guys to offer me advice. I only get about $27,000 a year as salary from the business and found out that he is paying her $40,000. After 19 years and being my age I am concerned about finding other employment.
Irrelevant to the issues at hand.
When I asked about criminal fraud I was asking about the sales tax issue not so much about the marriage issue. Should I resign as secretary/treasurer immediately or get a lawyer first? Since we keep our finances pretty much separate I don't have the resources to hire a high-power lawyer.
That is a question that has to be answered after you decide what to do about the spearate issues of tax evasion, fraud and divorce.
He also knows all of the lawyers in our little city and is friends with many of them. It will be difficult to find one that will represent me. I guess I just don't trust anyone right now.
That decision depends on personal factors. You are not required to hire an attorney from your city.
God, I hate this crummy situation. Things were going really good for us until all this happened. I keep trying to figure out what I did wrong.
Irrelevant.
One more thing about the phoney invoices. I think that they billed with these and after receiving the money they generated new invoices in the system to reflect the much smaller amount that went back to the company. I think this is the way they are able to keep the books looking proper. So it probably would go the same way it went with his previous wife. An audit would show all in order according the the financial statements.
And that's why you don't say a word until you've contacted the Secretary of State's office for guidance and have a 'frank' discussion with your county District Attorney.
If the man wants out of the marriage I have no problem with that. I have no problem with him keeping the business or the house or anything else. But GEE just be honest and let's work things out like mature adults. All this sneaking around with the books is not necessary. We had a good marriage for a long time and I have no desire to "get even" I have no desire to wreck the business or his employment - I just would like to protect myself and get this over with. If he wants her instead of me then good luck, let's part as friends and not mortal enemies.
I am still friends with my first husband and he has a great relationship with our grown children. We worked together to settle things. He never had to pay child-support and I didn't downgrade him to our children - etc. I am not a monster vindictive beastly woman. I am a responsible adult.
Irrelevant.
Now, as to what you need to do.
First, contact customers who you think have been given false invoices and ask them if they could provide you with a copy so that you can reconcile your 'books'. Compare these with those generated from your 'system'.
If, in fact, they do NOT match, take the lot of them to the District attorney. Also, keep a file of them for your own records.
Next, file for divorce IMMEDIATELY. Have your attorney ask the court to either appoint a receiver to audit the company books or have the court supervise the company during the proceedings.
Form that point on your attorney will advise you. DO NOT leave the company and DO NOT sign anything.
Once you have your attorney then things will become a little clearer. And stop with the pity party. Who give's a rat's ass if you go for the throat or not? If he's doing what you suspect then it's time for him to pay. Whether it be in Divorce court or in prison.
And his little playmate is going along for the ride unless she decides to play ball. I doubt he's that good of a lover for her to spend a few years in prison for.
