What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?OH
So sorry this is so long-you will soon see why. This is a second marriage for me (wife);I thought I did everything right as I had this (2nd) spouse (marriage of 6 yrs) sign a pre-nup to protect my $250k home (100% equity). He moved in with a garbage bag of clothes. We married on a Saturday and purchased a rental house two days later (using $65 of equity from my primary home) The rental had an appraised value of $110k (a nice profit on my investment) so now second home is/was paid off; (rent made payment). Spouse put title and equity loan in his name (he collected the rent and was supposed to apply it to equity loan) reason being he said I didn't make enough $$ to qualify for the loan (a lie). He used my assets to run up debt that he could not support on his income and never intended to repay. I told him I would not pay for my house twice in case of default, which he assured me would NEVER happen. What I later found out...he is a compulsive gambler. Also found out he had his brother as his beneficiary on his insurance policies. In six years time he has gone through equity in excess of $265k from both homes (Another bombshell day it was $90,000 in credit card debt) & a bancruptcy atty said I had no choice but to let him refinance the rental, thereby converting (his) unsecured credit card debt to secured debt with my homes. He then proceeded to eliminate my only remaining asset, which was a life ins. policy for $100k on my ex-spouse who is 16 yrs older than I; I was awarded the life insurance policy in lieu of support arrearage so that I would have $$ when older). My spouse was the responsible (or should I say irresponsible) person handling the finances and the bills, he neglected to pay the premium while I was out of town, and the policy was canceled, thereby eliminating my retirement fund. Let me say that I tried repeatedly to gain control of the finances, control of my own money, but he had everything now locked up tight in his name and sent to a post office box. I found out I had no rights to information on anything i owned before I married him. The credit cards were not joint cards, and I was not even aware of the existence of the credit cards he paid off using my home equity and the ones he has run up another $25k on. He came home today to advise me that he is $10k behind in one house and $3k behind in the other) and they would be foreclosing on both houses; A divorce is obvious; but does this qualify for some sort of marital or financial misconduct, both the gambling and the dissipation of the life ins policy? What docs do I need to provide to the court to prove it? In addition, we have a five yr old together (we are both close to age 50) and he now has a reduction in pay due to the slow economy; he plans to default on the home mortgages (I am not a co-borrower on either note) and walk away. He says the judge can't take money he doesn't have. He funded his child support, alimony, daughters braces and private school tuition with the equity from my homes and gambled his salary. In six yrs he has lived here for free only paying for utilities. Not surprising I discovered the first wife also divorced him for gambling. He has a small retirement fund left that he says he will give me to bring the house payments current but after that he doesn't care. He says I can't prove that he gambled it away because he uses offshore betting houses that can't be traced or subpeonaed and he shredded all the credit card records. So that is what I am up against. He wants me to do a quick separation agreement and be done with it, because he said that I'll never find what he gambled away and not to waste what is left on legal fees. My last divorce cost over 16k and altho there was fraud, etc., nothing to compare to this. He lives above a friends garage and wants custody of the child, alimony and child support payable to him. I haven't been married to either spouse the req'd 10 yrs to accumulate social security benefits but now my hope for a decent retirement is gone. I know you must be thinking how could you be so dumb, a question I have asked myself a hundred times. This gambler is a master manipulator, a con man, and he told me today that he never loved me, he married me for the wrong reason (the money). He used the legal umbrella of marriage to steal from me, and admits he is no better than a common criminal but says he'll never admit it in court. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't function, he has me an emotional wreck over this. I've already beaten myself up over my poor judge of a spouse, so any advice or opinions to help me move forward would be appreciated.
So sorry this is so long-you will soon see why. This is a second marriage for me (wife);I thought I did everything right as I had this (2nd) spouse (marriage of 6 yrs) sign a pre-nup to protect my $250k home (100% equity). He moved in with a garbage bag of clothes. We married on a Saturday and purchased a rental house two days later (using $65 of equity from my primary home) The rental had an appraised value of $110k (a nice profit on my investment) so now second home is/was paid off; (rent made payment). Spouse put title and equity loan in his name (he collected the rent and was supposed to apply it to equity loan) reason being he said I didn't make enough $$ to qualify for the loan (a lie). He used my assets to run up debt that he could not support on his income and never intended to repay. I told him I would not pay for my house twice in case of default, which he assured me would NEVER happen. What I later found out...he is a compulsive gambler. Also found out he had his brother as his beneficiary on his insurance policies. In six years time he has gone through equity in excess of $265k from both homes (Another bombshell day it was $90,000 in credit card debt) & a bancruptcy atty said I had no choice but to let him refinance the rental, thereby converting (his) unsecured credit card debt to secured debt with my homes. He then proceeded to eliminate my only remaining asset, which was a life ins. policy for $100k on my ex-spouse who is 16 yrs older than I; I was awarded the life insurance policy in lieu of support arrearage so that I would have $$ when older). My spouse was the responsible (or should I say irresponsible) person handling the finances and the bills, he neglected to pay the premium while I was out of town, and the policy was canceled, thereby eliminating my retirement fund. Let me say that I tried repeatedly to gain control of the finances, control of my own money, but he had everything now locked up tight in his name and sent to a post office box. I found out I had no rights to information on anything i owned before I married him. The credit cards were not joint cards, and I was not even aware of the existence of the credit cards he paid off using my home equity and the ones he has run up another $25k on. He came home today to advise me that he is $10k behind in one house and $3k behind in the other) and they would be foreclosing on both houses; A divorce is obvious; but does this qualify for some sort of marital or financial misconduct, both the gambling and the dissipation of the life ins policy? What docs do I need to provide to the court to prove it? In addition, we have a five yr old together (we are both close to age 50) and he now has a reduction in pay due to the slow economy; he plans to default on the home mortgages (I am not a co-borrower on either note) and walk away. He says the judge can't take money he doesn't have. He funded his child support, alimony, daughters braces and private school tuition with the equity from my homes and gambled his salary. In six yrs he has lived here for free only paying for utilities. Not surprising I discovered the first wife also divorced him for gambling. He has a small retirement fund left that he says he will give me to bring the house payments current but after that he doesn't care. He says I can't prove that he gambled it away because he uses offshore betting houses that can't be traced or subpeonaed and he shredded all the credit card records. So that is what I am up against. He wants me to do a quick separation agreement and be done with it, because he said that I'll never find what he gambled away and not to waste what is left on legal fees. My last divorce cost over 16k and altho there was fraud, etc., nothing to compare to this. He lives above a friends garage and wants custody of the child, alimony and child support payable to him. I haven't been married to either spouse the req'd 10 yrs to accumulate social security benefits but now my hope for a decent retirement is gone. I know you must be thinking how could you be so dumb, a question I have asked myself a hundred times. This gambler is a master manipulator, a con man, and he told me today that he never loved me, he married me for the wrong reason (the money). He used the legal umbrella of marriage to steal from me, and admits he is no better than a common criminal but says he'll never admit it in court. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't function, he has me an emotional wreck over this. I've already beaten myself up over my poor judge of a spouse, so any advice or opinions to help me move forward would be appreciated.
