Harassment/emotional/mental abuse from ex husband...

[purple0501]

Empty threats, tell him to let up, and get cooperative, or you WILL not ask him to pay his obligation (or ask and get a denial via email), and just sue for it at the end of the year like taxes.

Renew the restraining order (which no doubt prohibits hostility) and dont call him, email him, to prove his unwillingness to cooperate.

I know what a judge will rule if he sued for full custody..

Thank you!

 

[purple0501]

Get a new restraining order, and request that your communications be restricted to email regarding coparenting and scheduling issues only. Request that exchanges take place at the local police station, indoors.

Other than that, you can't force an unkind person to become kind. You can only restrict that person's ability to "get to" you.

Thank you!

 

[purple0501]

Toughen up woman! hes not even your husband anymore.

If you stop letting it get to you, you will be a better person for it.

Mantras are great. Yoga is calming, and positive energy does wonders.

Good luck.

Thank you!!! Sounds like good advice!!!

 

[Ohiogal]

maybe small claims him every year, for the things he gave you a hard time paying for, even though he wanted to pay for them in the first place.

you can sue him without a lawyer.

How aobut she just files a motion to show cause or motion to modify in the court of proper jurisdiction? That would make more sense.

 

[Ohiogal]

I am not asking him for stuff... Just to pay me back for buying the things he's obligated to pay for....

YES, I was forced to agree that he be soley finantially responsible, he refused to sign the divorce papers unless I agreed to his terms.

Taking him back to court would be ideal.... I don't have the financial backing to do that... Do you have any suggestions on how to accomplish this with out atty's being involved???

He didn't have to sign the divorce papers. NO ONE forced you. You CHOSE that. Come on. You need to man up and quite frankly take some responsibility yourself.

 

[purple0501]

How aobut she just files a motion to show cause or motion to modify in the court of proper jurisdiction? That would make more sense.

What is that and do I need a atty??

 

[purple0501]

He didn't have to sign the divorce papers. NO ONE forced you. You CHOSE that. Come on. You need to man up and quite frankly take some responsibility yourself.

I do take responsibility for myself.... I needed to get out of the situation I was in and this was the only way it was going to happen..... I couldn't be married to him anymore.... So do you mean if he never signed the papers I could still have gotten my divorce???

 

[Proserpina]

I do take responsibility for myself.... I needed to get out of the situation I was in and this was the only way it was going to happen..... I couldn't be married to him anymore.... So do you mean if he never signed the papers I could still have gotten my divorce???

Of course.

You would have gotten the divorce either way.

 

[mistoffolees]

Toughen up woman! hes not even your husband anymore.

If you stop letting it get to you, you will be a better person for it.

Mantras are great. Yoga is calming, and positive energy does wonders.

Good luck.

I agree.

OP has full custody and gets the kids. The ex-husband is paying 100% of the kids' expenses and when she asks to be reimbursed for something, he calls her names. Cry me a river.

If he actually refuses to pay, you can go back to court to enforce the court order. However, while that does not automatically give him the right to change custody, there is nothing to stop him from trying. Depending on the circumstances, he could actually win. All he has to do is come up with some reason why it's better for the kids.

If there's evidence that he's stalking you (not just your fears that he might be watching you at work which seems pretty unlikely), then you can file for a new restraining order. But at some point, you have to get on with your life - and it sounds like you got off pretty easy.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

If it were me, I would see about modifying the order for it just to be child support, instead of making you have your handout like this.

In addition, I would have the child support garnished right from his check.

While at it, modify so that the exchanges are in a neutral place, such was a police station or somewhere the video tape the place (other poster who had difficulties).

 

[LdiJ]

If it were me, I would see about modifying the order for it just to be child support, instead of making you have your handout like this.

In addition, I would have the child support garnished right from his check.

While at it, modify so that the exchanges are in a neutral place, such was a police station or somewhere the video tape the place (other poster who had difficulties).

I totally agree with this advice.

 

[SoSadSoMad]

I am going to agree with all that's been suggested, and add an element to consider.

If you are struggling to 'deal' with the situation, definitely change to an all email mode of communication. It works wonders and almost forces a more professional dialogue.

Agree with the hand-offs and the where/when.

Lastly, whether you change your divorce conditions or not, requesting reimbursement for expenses he owes will be less painful if the request is made via email.

I just want to add that if you are struggling to find calm without assistance, find a professional. I am a super strong person, and found myself having panic attacks and anxiety attacks recently over some life situations.

If you can't afford a counselor, psychologist, etc. there are support groups online and in most communities. If that seems difficult, find a pastor or religious leader that you can share/confide in.

Children feel stress. Children of all ages feel/see stress. Stress affects more than the stressed out person. Find a way to deal with your stress to minimize the affect on your children.

Good Luck and may you take control and refuse to give him this level of 'power'.

 

[purple0501]

I agree.

OP has full custody and gets the kids. The ex-husband is paying 100% of the kids' expenses and when she asks to be reimbursed for something, he calls her names. Cry me a river.

If he actually refuses to pay, you can go back to court to enforce the court order. However, while that does not automatically give him the right to change custody, there is nothing to stop him from trying. Depending on the circumstances, he could actually win. All he has to do is come up with some reason why it's better for the kids.

If there's evidence that he's stalking you (not just your fears that he might be watching you at work which seems pretty unlikely), then you can file for a new restraining order. But at some point, you have to get on with your life - and it sounds like you got off pretty easy.

I don't have full costody of the kids... We have joint leagal and physcial custody......

 

[mistoffolees]

If it were me, I would see about modifying the order for it just to be child support, instead of making you have your handout like this.

The only problem with that is that he's currently paying for EVERYTHING according to OP. If she asks for a child support calculation, she will likely receive only a portion of the cost of supporting the kids, so she'll have to come up with some of the support cost herself.

She should thank her lucky stars that she got off so easy.