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  1. #1
    ZiggityDiggity is offline Junior Member
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    Question Haven't seen husband for 34 years?

    What is the name of your state? FL
    Before anyone says “Stupid” I already know, with age comes wisdom.

    I got married at 15 to get away from a bad home life.
    The man I married was 21, we lived in Florida. My mother sighed a consent form. We went to South Carolina, because it was one of the few states that a 15 year old could marry with a parents consent.

    When we came back to Florida the marriage fell apart. There was lots of abuse, every time he saw me in public he’d ripe my clothes off of me, he raped me, and would leave me for days with no food or money. I was scared to death of him. I learned to stay clear of him, and went on with my life. I had three wonderful kids, all over 18 and adults now.

    We married in 1969, stayed together off and on for two years. Since 1971 I have only seen him once, and that was in 1980, He walked up to me and I didn’t even know who he was until he spoke to me. And it was a very short conversation, I was speechless and in shock. But he said he got a divorce. He also added that he could have walked up to me and killed me, and I wouldn’t have known who did it.

    Now I haven’t seen him for 26 years. My health has gotten really bad I have had diabetes for 19 years and I have had COPD for a little over a year, and have been on oxygen 24/7 for the last year. So my medical bills are really consuming. But I really need a divorce or some legal separation from him before I die. Now my question is do I need a divorce? How do I find him? Can I do the divorce without a lawyer? How can I find out if he really divorced me?

    I really love this site and search it a lot (it’s much better than realism TV) I found something on bigamy and searched some more and found this.
    Florida Statutes Chapter 826 BIGAMY;
    (1) Who reasonably believes that the prior
    spouse is dead.
    (2) Whose prior spouse has voluntarily
    deserted him or her and remained absent
    for the space of 3 years continuously, the
    party marrying again not knowing the
    other to be living within that time.

    How would I find out if he was still living? And can some one tell me what (2) means as far as getting remarried?

    I do appreciate all advice I get on this forum, and do respect every ones views.
    Thank you,
  2. #2
    stealth2 is offline Senior Member
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    If he hasn't divorced you, you need to file for divorce if you intend on marrying someone else (as well as for other possible estate issues). To find out if he has or not, you likely need an attorney or a PI.
  3. #3
    acmb05 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by ZiggityDiggity
    What is the name of your state? FL
    Before anyone says “Stupid” I already know, with age comes wisdom.

    I got married at 15 to get away from a bad home life.
    The man I married was 21, we lived in Florida. My mother sighed a consent form. We went to South Carolina, because it was one of the few states that a 15 year old could marry with a parents consent.

    When we came back to Florida the marriage fell apart. There was lots of abuse, every time he saw me in public he’d ripe my clothes off of me, he raped me, and would leave me for days with no food or money. I was scared to death of him. I learned to stay clear of him, and went on with my life. I had three wonderful kids, all over 18 and adults now.

    We married in 1969, stayed together off and on for two years. Since 1971 I have only seen him once, and that was in 1980, He walked up to me and I didn’t even know who he was until he spoke to me. And it was a very short conversation, I was speechless and in shock. But he said he got a divorce. He also added that he could have walked up to me and killed me, and I wouldn’t have known who did it.

    Now I haven’t seen him for 26 years. My health has gotten really bad I have had diabetes for 19 years and I have had COPD for a little over a year, and have been on oxygen 24/7 for the last year. So my medical bills are really consuming. But I really need a divorce or some legal separation from him before I die. Now my question is do I need a divorce? How do I find him? Can I do the divorce without a lawyer? How can I find out if he really divorced me?

    I really love this site and search it a lot (it’s much better than realism TV) I found something on bigamy and searched some more and found this.
    Florida Statutes Chapter 826 BIGAMY;
    (1) Who reasonably believes that the prior
    spouse is dead.
    (2) Whose prior spouse has voluntarily
    deserted him or her and remained absent
    for the space of 3 years continuously, the
    party marrying again not knowing the
    other to be living within that time.

    How would I find out if he was still living? And can some one tell me what (2) means as far as getting remarried?

    I do appreciate all advice I get on this forum, and do respect every ones views.
    Thank you,

    Did he happen to say where he got a divorce? If so you can do a public records search and find out if he did or not.

    You will probably have to hire someone to find him to have him served but I would definately get a lawyer.
  4. #4
    fairisfair is offline Senior Member
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    you could start by searching the social security death index, if he is listed, you won't need to search any further.
  5. #5
    rmet4nzkx is offline Senior Member
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    While it is not a definitive source, you can start with zabasearch.com and also check the social security death index [url]http://ssdi.rootsweb.com/[/url] to see if he is no longer alive, do that and report back with what you found. If he is alive there may be ways of contacting him to determine when and where the divorce is filed so you can move forward.
  6. #6
    acmb05 is offline Senior Member
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    Social security is a good place to start, however if you do not know his SS number and have a fairly common name you will get a lot of names to search thru.

    You could also do a search just for the State of Florida on anywho.com and see if he is listed. There are literally thousands of ways to search for him.
  7. #7
    rmet4nzkx is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by acmb05
    Social security is a good place to start, however if you do not know his SS number and have a fairly common name you will get a lot of names to search thru.

    You could also do a search just for the State of Florida on anywho.com and see if he is listed. There are literally thousands of ways to search for him.
    Why are you doing this? I already told her to search the SS death index, in the advanced search it allows for options such as date of birth. Even if the person has a common name they are unlikely to share the same birthdate, and that only would be an issue if the person was dead. zabasearch has some different options, it is a start, but we don't even know that he (ex)husband has a common name or not or that she doesn't know their SSN they were married and records available. That is why I told her where to start and to report back, there is no reason to confuse things by going into all possibilities that may not be necessary, focus.
  8. #8
    ZiggityDiggity is offline Junior Member
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    Thumbs down thanks and more questions

    Thanks for directing me in the right direction. I have sent away for the oringinal marriage document (hoping there's a SSN on it). He does have a very common name the only thing that helps alittle when doing searches is the middle name, But some searches don't or won't let you add the middle name or even the first letter of the middle name. I have been searching through all the free public record searches I can find. Like I said in my first message is my health is really bad and don't have extra money for a PI or lawyer. But want the divorce before I inherit my mothers estate.

    Did have one more question? How do PI's find out all there information? I see books for sale on BRB Publications, Like "The Investigator's Little Black Book" are any of these types of books do me any good with my search. I paid a fee to People Search and it was useless, It might help me if I was searching for old records for a family history. And now they won't honor their 100% money back guarantee...that's a joke. I can't even get them to anwser my e-mails.

    Like I said before everyone one on this forum is great I've learned a lot already. Thank you all so much.
  9. #9
    CJane is offline Senior Member
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    Couldn't this poster file for divorce, attempt to have the man served at his last known address, or give notice by publication?
  10. #10
    Neal1421 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by ZiggityDiggity
    Thanks for directing me in the right direction. I have sent away for the oringinal marriage document (hoping there's a SSN on it). He does have a very common name the only thing that helps alittle when doing searches is the middle name, But some searches don't or won't let you add the middle name or even the first letter of the middle name. I have been searching through all the free public record searches I can find. Like I said in my first message is my health is really bad and don't have extra money for a PI or lawyer. But want the divorce before I inherit my mothers estate.

    Did have one more question? How do PI's find out all there information? I see books for sale on BRB Publications, Like "The Investigator's Little Black Book" are any of these types of books do me any good with my search. I paid a fee to People Search and it was useless, It might help me if I was searching for old records for a family history. And now they won't honor their 100% money back guarantee...that's a joke. I can't even get them to anwser my e-mails.

    Like I said before everyone one on this forum is great I've learned a lot already. Thank you all so much.
    OP-turn your PMs on and I might be able to help you.
  11. #11
    weenor is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by CJane
    Couldn't this poster file for divorce, attempt to have the man served at his last known address, or give notice by publication?


    Absolutely...but in most cases you have to be able to show the court that you made reasonable efforts to locate and serve the person by the normal means first.
  12. #12
    rmet4nzkx is offline Senior Member
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    Turn on your PM feature, several of us are willing to help you.
  13. #13
    ZiggityDiggity is offline Junior Member
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    Thumbs up PM's ???? finally figured out what that means...lol

    Okay I figured out what RM's are....lol. I turned it on. Thank so much
  14. #14
    rmet4nzkx is offline Senior Member
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    Update

    I just received an update on this thread
    [QUOTE=ZiggityDiggity]I wanted to say thank you for all your help. I did find <ex> he died last year in northern Florida. And you were correct his father <ex's dad> did remarry and then he died in 1999 in <name> County. I searched the public records and that's how I traced <ex> to north Florida. I have sent off for a copy of his death certificate. So once again Thank you so much.
    ZiggityDiggity


    Now if your find that you were never divorced it is possible that you and his children if any would be entitled to his estate. Sounds like you should contact his mil if she is still alive. I will update the forum without names of course.
  15. #15
    Bali Hai is offline Senior Member
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    [QUOTE=rmet4nzkx]I just received an update on this thread
    Quote Originally Posted by ZiggityDiggity
    I wanted to say thank you for all your help. I did find <ex> he died last year in northern Florida. And you were correct his father <ex's dad> did remarry and then he died in 1999 in <name> County. I searched the public records and that's how I traced <ex> to north Florida. I have sent off for a copy of his death certificate. So once again Thank you so much.
    ZiggityDiggity


    Now if your find that you were never divorced it is possible that you and his children if any would be entitled to his estate. Sounds like you should contact his mil if she is still alive. I will update the forum without names of course.
    This all sounds so wonderful. Now how many bucks have you collected?? If none, that's what this story is worth...Divorce is about MONEY****************************...

    Anyone disagree???

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