help!!!!

[hencas]

What is the name of your state? missouri


hi,im new to this and never done something like this before and feel kinda weird about it,but im in need of some serious help,hope someone can help me please!!i dont know where to even start,well ive been with my husband for 8 years 6 years married,things have been rocky from the beginning and hopeing things would change,we are in the process of buying a house,etc..and we have land which will be included in the loan land home,we have been paying on this land for a little over a year now and been working very hard on it,my husband is a truck driver and is only home like 4 days a month,so i pretty much take care of most things...when he is home he dont wanna do anything,so anyway the loan is almost done,we put 5,000 down already. going thru fha which is required,no work has been started yet but getting close,so im very scared,the loan is only in his name,but the title is suppose to be in both,so they say,we are fighting all the time,im very unhappy,but feel ive gone to far to give up,i have 2 children,they are his step children..well i just dont know what to do,ive worked so hard on this land and getting this loan,almost every bit of my social socurity goes towards the land in some sort of way,out buildings,chicken house,fenceing,riding lawnmower,etc.....ive also made my husbands credit in good standings just to get the loan,so ive done alot....well as i stated im very unhappy,he mentally and physically abuses me,i must be crazy to think he will change,so what shall i do,the loan is only in his name,we put 5,000 down already,ive done everything to get the loan,if i cancel wont i loose the moneycause its a manufactured land home and been aproved,if i go thru with it,it being only in his name,except the title mabie,i know when he gets angry he will tell me to get out,he will think it is his home only and he has the right,does he?if i got a divorce would i get the home?i only bring in 1100 a month,between child support and social socutity,but my mom lives with us,she brings in 600 a month..i have 2 children,he doesnt,but he brings in like 2400 a month,i need to know what to do,i really dont want to loose the land and house,cause of everything ive done,but dont wanna be unhappy and scared all the time either.i dont even know if i made any since or not on this,hope someone can guide me in the right direction,what can i or can not do???thanks so much

casey-missouri

 

[clayspretty]

Oh Girl, where do I begin! You need to ask yourself some serious question. Such as:

If he is only home 4-5 days a month and has so little time to spend with you, why in the hell would he mentally and phyically abuse you? If you say I don't know then your in denial!

Why would you want to buy a home with a man you are total miserable being with?

I know from personal experience, it is hard to make the decision you need to make but in the end you will eventually make that decision and I think you know what that decision is. All you are doing right now is making up excuses and praying a lot. Your hoping with a new house the two of you will be happier. You are even possibly using the buying of the house as a distraction or forfillment of your unhappiness.
In my opinion, your just prolonging the inevitable and making your decision a lot more complicated in the long run.
But anyway, If the house is in his name and you are married and live there together as a man and wife- yes he can throw up to you that it is his house but no he can't make you leave. In a divorce you would most likely have as much right to the house as he does because you accumulated it together during your marriage.
Just and opinion, not an attorney

 

[hencas]

thanks so much for your reply,as of now im still confused,i do know what your saying though,but still so confused,we are talking divorce now on both sides and not even got the home and already put our 5,000 down and its my money i used but only in his name,i am ready to move on with my life,get a divorce,and the land,willing to give it all up to,we are still paying on the land,it however is in both names,but still owe bout just as much as we paid for it and been paying for it a little over a year,so i want a divorce,the lands in both our names the loan for which we were are trying to get will include the land in the loan,in his name only,i put 5,000 down towards it,not to meantion lots of other stuff.....so what do i do......what do i do.......??????

 

[clayspretty]

Honey, not I or anyone else can tell you what to do. You know in your heart what you want to do but your just scared to take that step. No one can do it for you. You have to decided if your happiness is worth counting your losses(if you do lose anything), licking your wounds and starting a new life.

Good luck in what ever you decide. Just remember- Life if what you make it and you only endure what you allow. If your not happy now, it doesn't mean you can't be. It's up to you!