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cannellathompso

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Connecticut & Colorado.

I have been in Colorado for over 6 months with my two sons (ages 6, 3) with an agreement per our divorce decree in Connecticut. Where the jurisdiction of my divorce remains. During the 6 months my ex was suppose find a job or look for a job. He didn't.

I want to know how to change the jurisdiction of the divorce CAN I? And do I have to move back to CT? I have attempted for over two months contacting the Stamford, CT court house no one has returned any of my phone calls. I have NO money to move back or can I afford to live in CT.
 


Zephyr

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Connecticut & Colorado.

I have been in Colorado for over 6 months with my two sons (ages 6, 3) with an agreement per our divorce decree in Connecticut. Where the jurisdiction of my divorce remains. During the 6 months my ex was suppose find a job or look for a job. He didn't.

I want to know how to change the jurisdiction of the divorce CAN I? And do I have to move back to CT? I have attempted for over two months contacting the Stamford, CT court house no one has returned any of my phone calls. I have NO money to move back or can I afford to live in CT.
I don't understand, are you asking if you need to move from Colorado back to Connecticut because your ex can't find a job where he is? I don't understand
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
Yes, he was suppose to look for a job in Colorado. If he found one the jurisdiction obviously automatically moves to CO from CT.
Why does it matter? You have custody of the children and the court gave you permission to move. You've been there 6 months, so it's unlikely that he's going to be able to go back to court to change things.

What is it you're trying to accomplish by moving custody? There are times when it's better to let sleeping dogs lie.
 

cannellathompso

Junior Member
The divorce agreement allowed me to be in CO for 6 months and during that time he was to look for a job here in CO. IF he didn't find a job I am suppose to return to CT and he is to have visitation twice a week and every other weekend. He is now taking me to court for contempt. Because I didn't move back. He is still looking and willing to move out here. The cost of living in CT vs. CO in at least double. The children are in classes and counseling to help them recover from the divorce. My 6 yr. old is in school here. It is a year around school system (started in July). I didn't and still don't have the funds to fly back to CT to ask the courts for permission to move permanently to CO. Or for any other reasons. . . .more child support, etc. He has not visited his children according to the divorce agreement during the past six months. He was suppose to fly out twice a month to see them. He only came 3 times.

I want to know what I am suppose to do??? I want permission to stay in CO. So I can gain employment (part time) and continue moving on in life. My children and I lived in a domestic violence shelter in CT from Christmas Eve 2007 till getting permission and divorce finalized on March 20, 2008. He only verbally threatens me I can't get it in writing. He has never that I know of hurt the children. His threats and anger are towards me.

Also, if I need to return to CT, how and when do I go? After the court hearing? Go now?
I don't want to be in trouble with the law. Meanwhile I need finances to do anything and to feel safe.
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
The divorce agreement allowed me to be in CO for 6 months and during that time he was to look for a job here in CO. IF he didn't find a job I am suppose to return to CT and he is to have visitation twice a week and every other weekend. He is now taking me to court for contempt. Because I didn't move back. He is still looking and willing to move out here. The cost of living in CT vs. CO in at least double. The children are in classes and counseling to help them recover from the divorce. My 6 yr. old is in school here. It is a year around school system (started in July). I didn't and still don't have the funds to fly back to CT to ask the courts for permission to move permanently to CO. Or for any other reasons. . . .more child support, etc. He has not visited his children according to the divorce agreement during the past six months. He was suppose to fly out twice a month to see them. He only came 3 times.

I want to know what I am suppose to do??? I want permission to stay in CO. So I can gain employment (part time) and continue moving on in life. My children and I lived in a domestic violence shelter in CT from Christmas Eve 2007 till getting permission and divorce finalized on March 20, 2008. He only verbally threatens me I can't get it in writing. He has never that I know of hurt the children. His threats and anger are towards me.

Also, if I need to return to CT, how and when do I go? After the court hearing? Go now?
I don't want to be in trouble with the law. Meanwhile I need finances to do anything and to feel safe.
I can't believe your attorney would let you agree to something like that. There would be no reason for him to try to find a job if he wanted to stay in CT. Did he make any effort?

If you want to stay in CO, you're probably going to need an attorney to request a modification of the agreement. You could argue that he didn't come to CO very much and the kids are in school there, so it's in their best interest to stay. You might even be able to argue that CO now has jurisdiction, although I don't think it's likely you'll win that one. You could also bring in statistics on unemployment rate there (probably better than CT) and jobs in his field. Even so, if your agreement says you're supposed to move back, you are in contempt and you're at a disadvantage.

Bottom line is you have two choices:
1. Hire an attorney to fight for a change in the agreement. The attorney might suggest that you move back to CT while the issue is pending.
or
2. Wait until the Federal Marshalls appear on your doorstep to take the kids back to CT.

Your choice.
 

cannellathompso

Junior Member
There is FINANCIAL hardship, he is not making a way for us to come back. I certainly would need more time to just be able to afford the move back. I need more time. He is in NO better financial state either after 6 months. There is no reason for him not to move out here, if it is really all about the children. That is what the court is going to look at right? Stability, safety, healthy. . .all that is missing is seeing their dad on a regular basis. If we go back at this point with his verbal threats to me. IF we are required to come back ASAP we will have to go to a Domestic Violence Shelter again because of his verbal threats. I need to know I have a place to feel and live safely with my sons.
 

cannellathompso

Junior Member
Contempt

So, I am waiting to be served papers. Then what??? After I am served what happens? What do or can I do? I return for the court date? Do I pack up and go into shelter or wait for the court date??? My divorce attorney has not returned any of my phone calls for over two months. Not sure what to do. What are my rights.
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
So, I am waiting to be served papers. Then what??? After I am served what happens? What do or can I do? I return for the court date? Do I pack up and go into shelter or wait for the court date??? My divorce attorney has not returned any of my phone calls for over two months. Not sure what to do. What are my rights.
Your rights end when you stop doing what the court ordered. The next step may be the US Marshalls appearing on your doorstep to take the kids back to CT.

You really need to find some way to get back there for the court date or at least have your attorney there. Your attorney agreed to a crazy agreement, but now you're stuck with it.
 

>Charlotte<

Lurker
I wonder if the attorney tried to talk her out of that agreement, but she insisted. An attorney can advise, but the decision is up to the client.

Is that right, OG? Can an attorney refuse to do something if he's sure it's not in his client's best interests? I wouldn't think so, but maybe. The attorney works for the client, but it's the attorney's job to protect the client. So, which takes precedence?
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
I wonder if the attorney tried to talk her out of that agreement, but she insisted. An attorney can advise, but the decision is up to the client.

Is that right, OG? Can an attorney refuse to do something if he's sure it's not in his client's best interests? I wouldn't think so, but maybe. The attorney works for the client, but it's the attorney's job to protect the client. So, which takes precedence?
As I understand it, the attorney can certainly refuse to do something illegal regardless of the client's interest.

If it's legal but extremely inadvisable, the attorney can remove themselves from the case (there are some limits on this, though). If the attorney stays on the case, then they need to do what the client directs them to do - even if they disagree.

Is that about right?

But you're right, the attorney may have tried to talk her out of it. In any event, it is a terrible agreement and it should have been obvious from the start that it was going to create problems. But now she's stuck with it - unless she gets her attorney to argue that it's better for the kids to not be uprooted again and convinces the judge that this is the case.
 

>Charlotte<

Lurker
As I understand it, the attorney can certainly refuse to do something illegal regardless of the client's interest.
Well, if it's illegal--yes, obviously. And I'm assuming her attorney didn't withdraw, or she probaby would have said so.

ETA: Thanks for the answer, OG.
 
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Ohiogal

Queen Bee
I wonder if the attorney tried to talk her out of that agreement, but she insisted. An attorney can advise, but the decision is up to the client.

Is that right, OG? Can an attorney refuse to do something if he's sure it's not in his client's best interests? I wouldn't think so, but maybe. The attorney works for the client, but it's the attorney's job to protect the client. So, which takes precedence?
Attorneys are to work towards their client's best interests however the decision is up to the client. A client can always have us do something else -- provided it is not illegal or unethical and make different decisions/agreements on their behalf with their permission. Usually if a client does something that we would normally advise against, we try to get it on record that the client has been advised differently and has made the decision freely, voluntarily, knowingly and against advice of counsel.
 

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