Sorry if my Question was so short. My daughter was pawning for my attention & she always wins.
I currently pay for all daycare, all medical, her car insurance as the car is under my name, & telephone (which is really nothing). She is starting a FT position with really good benefits & we will all go over to there until the divorce is final & then I will go back to mine. This is done due to me maxing out the HSA account in January until her insurance goes into effect. I make about double of what she makes also.
1) How does a person find a "Fair" mediator. Aren't they appointed by the judge?
2) I don't mind paying for daycare. Only problem is that she's already threatened me saying I will have to pay for night & anytime she wants/needs also. She will teach as much as possible on Saturdays & Sundays also. Hard to explain w/out going into the drama of everything.
3) Now that she will have her perm residence, she'll be showing a lot more fang also!
4) I have already seen, through my 2 year old, how she will be manipulating the $$ factor. The daughter already says, "Mom doesn't have any Money" & she has told my mom that she feeds herself on $10.00/week which is physically impossible for her.
Lots more BUT... I really just want this to start down the right path. It's tough to get the explanation down through a brief text.
I also once meet with a paralegal & then brought the wife down to speak with her. The Paralegal even gave me my $$ back!!!
SCREWED!
D
You are not screwed. You are assuming that you are screwed.
So...lets work on a reality check.
Leave your health insurance alone. If she wants to also put you on hers until the divorce is final, fine, but leave yours alone. In fact, it might be wisest to have double coverage on all of you until the divorce is final. Yes, I realize that might cause some complication with the HSA, but switching to her medical insurance would cause that complication anyway, and technically, you are not supposed to cancel or change any health insurance while you are in the midst of a divorce. Any "blip" in coverage could come back to haunt you with a vengence.
Car insurance...absolutely you have to keep paying that. It would be stupid not to.
If you have a 50/50 schedule and you will be making twice the money that she will be making, then you WILL be paying child support.
Accept that reality. You won't be paying as much as you would if the schedule wasn't 50/50, but you will be paying child support. Daycare and health insurance for the child will factor into the child support calculation. Child support goes by state guidelines and a state calculation.
Go to az.gov and see if you can find an offical child support calculator there, or child support worksheets. That will allow you to run the numbers and see where things might fall.
Unless you are fighting over the marital property settlement, there is very little for you to mediate. AZ is a community property state so marital assets need to be divided 50/50. Child support goes by state guidelines so all the mediator will be helping you with there is to make the calculations. You have already apparently agreed on 50/50 custody. Child custody is normally the "biggie" in a divorce with children, so you are already good there.
In reality, you honestly don't need to worry too much about finding a "fair" mediator. Any mediator is going to be thrilled that you have already agreed on custody, and will simply be helping you divide the community property 50/50 and helping you calculate the child support according to state guidelines.
Also, of course she is showing a bit more "fang" now that her permanent residency is settled. That puts you and she on an equal playing field, which is what is best for your daughter.
No one "wins" in a divorce...particularly the children. However, the best divorces are those where neither parent is totally happy with the outcome, but the disruption to the children is the most minimal possible.
Good luck and remember that your daughter will be the happiest if mommy and daddy can get along.
