Help...he's spending all our money!!!!

[funnybunnie234]

What is the name of your state? WI
Help...he is spendind money like crazy...we are still married, we can't come to a decision on weather to divorce or seperate..it's a mess. I can not even look at him ( he cheated ) right now I am so hurt. He makes 70 to 80 percent of our income..and he says it is HIS money..but I have bills to pay and 2 small childern to take care of during this mess. I feel he is pushing me to my limits on purpose..what do I do????? HELP!
I am not emotionally stable right now, and i am so hurt and confused.

 

[djohnson]

This isn't searching for legal advice so non legal advice is what I am giving.

Listen, first you need to get some yourself together. You know if you can live with him or not. It doesn't sound like it from your post. It sounds like you want things the way they were before you 'knew' what he was doing. Like you can't depend on your self and have a need to be with someone no matter what they do to you. The same emotions you are feeling is why women that get beat everyday stay with the abuser. I think you need to get a divorce and let his stuff be his problem and the same for you. If you get the kids you can get child support. Depending on your history you may even get spousal support. None of which is going to be what you have now. If you continue to remain a nervous wreck and be like this post seems, you stand a good chance at losing custody of the kids. You need to figure out what the most important thing is and work toward that goal.

 

[funnybunnie234]

a reply

Um..thanks..I guess. Yes I AM emotional..can you blame me? My world just crashed down on me. I was wondering if a legal separation would help me..or if I should just go to divorce.
A little compassion would be nice....after all, no one else is in my shoes right now but me.So, this is all scarry to me. I am strong around my kids...I thought I could let go a little on here because no one knows me.

 

[sevengables]

Spending money

You'll find this site very cut and dried but full of legal advice, which you need also. Search the internet for abused support groups such as Silent Tears. Really good site. Your husband is an abuser. If you don't leave (go to a relative's house), your children will grow up thinking this is okay and will also abuse their spouses. Is this what you want? If they cheat once, they'll cheat again. My son is going thru a 2nd cheating and he wouldn't listen to anyone either the first time. Look in your phonebook and call the abuse hotline. They can direct you to free legal help where you live. It'll only get worse. Your husband abuses thru power and money is his power. This isn't love. Dry those tears, get some help and save your kids. They deserve better even if you think you don't. Good luck. Hope this helps you thru a horrible time.

 

[djohnson]

Totally agree. By staying you are hurting more than yourself. Also there are many, many women (or men) in your situation right now and even worse.

I'm not trying to sound cold but you have enough sympathy right now from yourself which is why I'm not showing much. Right now what you need more than a shoulder to cry on, is someone to give you strength. A legal separation (if offered in your state) would really goofy unless you are planning to go back to him. If you already have that thought process then why bother?