help PLEASE...can i divorce my parents? yes, im serious!

[pojensen]

What is the name of your state? Washington.
My question is can I divorce my parents? I know this sounds absurd, but I am completely serious. I am 19 years old, and my parents have been fighting ever since I was small. I know it's normal to fight in relationships once in awhile, but not every day, as they usually do. They are not happy together. There is no trust left in the relationship after my dad screwed up one night and they fight about anything and everything. I feel like it's already affected me in the relationships Ive had with guys, but it has gone on long enough. I know they will never do it on there own. Only lord knows why. I believe it's because my dad supports my mom financially, so she wont leave. I still have no idea why my dad is with her though. I really dont feel that they love eachother. I cant remember the last time i saw them kiss or just act like they like eachother. Everytime my dad leaves for work it's in a screaming match with my mom. It really hurts me to see them so unhappy together. They've tried to get help, but it's like a cycle they cant break, and I see it getting only worse. It's not healthy and they are wasting their lives being together. Please help me to help them find purpose in their lives once again. PLEASE! God bless you all.

 

[Cherry Belle]

Seeing as how you're 19, you have no real need to "divorce" your parents. You're already a legal adult and emancipation isn't an issue for someone who's recognized as an adult by society This sounds more to me like they need to decide what they want from their relationship and either seperate or seek some sort of councelling or relationship therapy. You may want to find someone to talk to as well, since it's affecting your relationships as well. If it's bothering you that badly, sit down and tell them how you feel. They might not listen and then you have to decide if you want to continue with contact with your parents or just plain cease contact with them. Other than that, there's not much help or advice I can offer.

 

[FarmerJ]

Since your a adult now you can choose to limit your contact with them including when ever a fight starts to leave them room leave the house , end the phone call , etc . Your parents have the right as un healthy as it sounds to make each other miserable . all you can do is go get your own counseling to attempt to undo what you have learned . so you do not repeat it in your own relationships or to any future children you have . If they ask why you have limited your contact with them tell them its because your trying to Un learn all the subtle stuff you have witnessed them do that is unhealthy so you can make sure you dont repeat it some day to your own family .

 

[stealth2]

I think what you're really asking.....

Is can you make your parents get a divorce from each other... the answer's no. That's a decision they have to make.

 

[pojensen]

well thank you for your help anyways. I am an adult now and I am attending college, so it doesnt affect me as bad anymore. It still hurts me to see them so miserable though.
I also thank you for the advice to get them help. Sadly, my sisters, my grandparents, and I have tried everything we can think of. We do sit down and talk to them rationally about how it's affecting us as well as them. It goes in one ear and out the other. They've been to counceling but cant agree on a conselor they both like, so then they stop going. My parents have the mentality of 5 year olds most of the time. It's like he started it, and now Im going to make it worse. They are just not good for eachother, but like i said it's been going on for more than a decade and neither one will stop the cycle.
...well, thanks again. Have a good day, and maybe someday they will break the cycle.