Help/where do I stand

[Pendleton]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Michigan

Unfortunately it's beginning to look like the wife and I are not going to be able to straighten things out. As such, I wanted to get some advice as to where I stand. So here are some details:

We've been married for 8.5 years, no children. I am the only source of income as she has bipolar disorder/anxiety and does not think she can work. My income barely supports the house and extra bills. I also do 90% of the housekeeping (cooking, dishes, laundry, vacuuming etc), but she does clean the bathroom. We purchased a house two years ago, but she didn't sign anything. The mortgage is entirely in my name. But I believe it is considered marital property anyway. The value of the house is easily 20K less than when we bought it. So even if we sold it, there'd be a huge burden left over.

Due to her mental condition she was been verbally and physically abusive, and in return I have been verbally and emotionally abusive in that I don't believe I am giving her the support she needs. I have not be physical with her though.

So she's got it in her mind that if we get divorced, she'll be able to stay in the house, and have me continue to pay the entire mortage and that I'll have to pay alimony and provide medical insurance on top of that. Being that we don't have children, she's only 30 years old, and she's intelligent enough to work and/or go to school, I just can't see that happening.

I would really appreciate some advice and an idea where I stand in this whole mess.

Thanks.

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Michigan

Unfortunately it's beginning to look like the wife and I are not going to be able to straighten things out. As such, I wanted to get some advice as to where I stand. So here are some details:

We've been married for 8.5 years, no children. I am the only source of income as she has bipolar disorder/anxiety and does not think she can work. My income barely supports the house and extra bills. I also do 90% of the housekeeping (cooking, dishes, laundry, vacuuming etc), but she does clean the bathroom. We purchased a house two years ago, but she didn't sign anything. The mortgage is entirely in my name. But I believe it is considered marital property anyway. The value of the house is easily 20K less than when we bought it. So even if we sold it, there'd be a huge burden left over.

Due to her mental condition she was been verbally and physically abusive, and in return I have been verbally and emotionally abusive in that I don't believe I am giving her the support she needs. I have not be physical with her though.

So she's got it in her mind that if we get divorced, she'll be able to stay in the house, and have me continue to pay the entire mortage and that I'll have to pay alimony and provide medical insurance on top of that. Being that we don't have children, she's only 30 years old, and she's intelligent enough to work and/or go to school, I just can't see that happening.

I would really appreciate some advice and an idea where I stand in this whole mess.

Thanks.

When was your wife Dx'ed?

 

[Pendleton]

Diagnosis of this particular issue occured after the marriage.

 

[mistoffolees]

I don't even know if it's an official diagnosis. It seems to be the latest "idea" of what she has. But the symptoms fit rapid cycling with dysphoric mania. Basically, her manic "highs" are anger instead of the more classic euphoria. But she has had anxiety issues since she was a kid. The bipolar stuff started after marriage.

One thing you'll need to learn right up front. Without a formal diagnosis from a licensed professional, your thoughts on what might be wrong with her are completely irrelevant. In fact, it can be used against you if you're going around telling people that there's something wrong with her with no factual backing.

 

[Pendleton]

She had an in-depth neuropsych evaluation, but I can't recall right now what the actual diagnosis was...assuming there was one.

 

[mistoffolees]

Oh, those are her words. She's pretty up front and tells everyone about it if she thinks they need to know. She's seen a lot of licenced professionals. The problem is that they all seem to come up with different diagnosis. She had an in-depth neuropsych evaluation, but I can't recall right now if it actually showed bipolar disorder.

Repeating - until you know for sure what the diagnosis is, you need to stop throwing around diagnoses. It's not going to help you and it might hurt.