Here's what went down pro se divorce in Texas

[kimberlywrites]

What is the name of your state? TX
Now that I've been through it, I wanted to share what happened in case anyone ever wants to look it up for reference. Disclaimer: This is what happened in my case, this does not mean it will be the same for you.

We appeared before the judge as pro se, both of us, even though my ex (weird not to type STBX!) was the petitioner. There are certain times put aside for uncontested matters, so you have to check with the court you're in to find out when to show up.
So we showed up this morning, only to find out the uncontested matters for people who have a lawyer get to go ahead of you. We were put at the bottom of the list, since we were pro se.

By the time the judge got to us, he was out of time and had to start a scheduled custody case, so we were sent across the hall to the office of the associate judge.

She didn't like the wording on some of our documents, asking us where we even got them from. (fyi, it was the internet). She crossed some stuff out, asked a few questions about the children. earlier, the court clerk informed us that child support must be ordered, it's a Texas law. In our decree, we are not doing child support as we have a 50-50 physical custody arrangement (we live within a few miles of each other.)

Surprisingly the associate judge didn't ask at all about any of that - not what our incomes are, not what our jobs are, nothing at all. The only she wanted to add in there was who had the right to designate the childrens' primary residence. We tried to word around that, but she noticed. So we gave her an answer. Then she asked me if I thought the division of assets was fair. I said yes. She asked the ex the same thing. He said yet.
She said Divorce Granted.

It took 15 minutes.

Emotionally draining, though, no matter how bad you want the divorce. Sad, too. We hugged after (me and the ex, not me and the judge , we said we were sorry. And off we went, to start new lives.

[nextstep]

Kimberly,

Thanks so much for posting this. My situation is very similar - pro se, uncontested in Texas with 50/50 custody arrangement.

If you don't mind, what kind of stuff did the judge not like that you were required to cross out? Also, how did you work out the child support? Since our child is still in day care, we have it set up to where he pays me 50% of day care costs and 50% of health insurance/unreimbursed medical, but this will change over time.

Thanks again for the informative post!

[kimberlywrites]

Nextstep,
Sorry for the delay in replying. I didn't see your post until now.

(Thanks so much for posting this. My situation is very similar - pro se, uncontested in Texas with 50/50 custody arrangement.

If you don't mind, what kind of stuff did the judge not like that you were required to cross out? Also, how did you work out the child support? Since our child is still in day care, we have it set up to where he pays me 50% of day care costs and 50% of health insurance/unreimbursed medical, but this will change over time.

Thanks again for the informative post!)

Answers: The judge wanted to know who would have the right to establish permanent residency of the children, even with a 50-50 arrangement. We said in the documents that whoever establishes permanent residency must obtain written permission from the other parent before moving children's permanent residency out of "x" miles. We said out of 20 miles. Tight, but necessary if a 50-50 is to work.

If you are going pro se, it might be good to pay a paralegal or even a lawyer for an hour of their time to see if the wording is correct. On the other hand, I think it just depends on who you get for a judge...some will like it one way, others another way. It's hard to know. Their main concern is the children. I would also suggest you guys go in together to court, even though only the petitioner is required to (once the respondent has signed off on the uncontested decree). This will help show the judge you are working together to raise the kids, and can get along doing so. Beneficial if you're going for 50-50!

As for the reimbursment plan you have going with your STBX, I am not sure how you would word that. Ours was so simple: 50-50, no child support, children on his health care, each parent claims one child as a dependant at tax time.

[nextstep]

Thanks for the clarification. We have to finalize this by June or the case will be dismissed, so I am trying to wrap up the details.

I'm not sure where to find help with a review of our decree. I met with two lawyers and asked about the possibility of them reviewing my pro se work, and both said they didn't do that.

[kimberlywrites]

Where did you get your papers?
You can just go and take your chances like we did. The only bad thing was feeling like an idiot when the judge asked "where DID you get these papers?" But she changed what was wrong, and 15 minutes later we were done.
Good luck and let me know how it goes.

[nextstep]

Actually, the county law library here sells legal form packets, and that is where I got the papers that I am using as my starting point. Of course I had to completely change the standard possession order.

As we are amicably settling the estate, I have not gone into detail in the decree as to which items go to who, except for the big-ticket items like the house and cars. We have no joint accounts at this time and the decree states that any accounts in only one name will become that person's sole property.

It's good to know that the judge can make some changes during the hearing and still approve the divorce. I was afraid that if there were any changes I would have to revise the documents and come back for another hearing.