House

[Curiosity]

What is the name of your state? MO

Can someone please confirm my understanding of the steps needed to get the house in my name only, instead of mine and STBX’s? As well as getting him his share of the equity? It is my understanding that things need to happen in this order.
1. I refinance the mortgage in my name only.
2. The divorce is final.
3. STBX gets a check for his share of the equity, while at the same time, I get a signed quitclaim deed from STBX.

I’m also told that STBX can quitclaim at anytime before the divorce is final, but he is not agreeable to that until he has his check. And I shouldn’t’ give him any money until the divorce is final because then it is still part of marital assets and not really a settlement payment to him??

I know this is probably not an unusual question. I searched the forum but didn’t find the answer I needed. I thank you in advance for taking the time to help me.

[nextwife]

Complete the divorce.

Arreange the refi.

At the refi closing his payoff share can be transferred to him in exchange for a QC deed.

[Curiosity]

Thank you. He refuses to leave the house until he gets his payoff share. Driving me crazy.... If divorce is final, what do I need to get him out of the house until refinancing is complete. Or can I have the refi 'all but done' and put it immediately into motion once things are final?

[mistoffolees]

What is the name of your state? MO

Can someone please confirm my understanding of the steps needed to get the house in my name only, instead of mine and STBX’s? As well as getting him his share of the equity? It is my understanding that things need to happen in this order.
1. I refinance the mortgage in my name only.
2. The divorce is final.
3. STBX gets a check for his share of the equity, while at the same time, I get a signed quitclaim deed from STBX.

I’m also told that STBX can quitclaim at anytime before the divorce is final, but he is not agreeable to that until he has his check. And I shouldn’t’ give him any money until the divorce is final because then it is still part of marital assets and not really a settlement payment to him??

I know this is probably not an unusual question. I searched the forum but didn’t find the answer I needed. I thank you in advance for taking the time to help me.

All of that is correct - assuming that the judge orders that you get the house. It doesn't always work that way (obviously, at least 50% of the time, it's the OTHER partner who get's the house). In some cases, the house switches sides at the last minute, so don't pay anything until it's all final.

STBX doesn't have to leave until the judge orders him to leave. That may or may not coincide with the final divorce and closing on the house details. You are, of course, free to make any other arrangements you wish in the mean time as long as they don't infringe on the court's prerogatives or break the law. You could, for example, pay half of his rent if you wish to get him out of the house. Just make sure you have it in writing and don't sign the lease.

[deathbydiva]

Thank you. He refuses to leave the house until he gets his payoff share. Driving me crazy.... If divorce is final, what do I need to get him out of the house until refinancing is complete. Or can I have the refi 'all but done' and put it immediately into motion once things are final?

Have your attorney petition the court to give you exclusive right of possession/usage over the house until the divorce is final. Failing that, make sure that the final order of divorce contains a specific date by which your husband must be out of the house, and that it specifies (in exhaustive detail) what items he may take with him when he goes. Be prepared for the fact that he may take things he's not supposed to anyways. If it's your great-grandmother's wedding china, it's worth fighting over. If it's the houseplant that you both really liked when you bought it, then it's probably not worth paying an attorney $200 an hour to retrieve.

I've never seen a case where someone was required to acquire financing PRIOR to the divorce being finalized; IMO your STBX is just being kind of an asshat. Find out from your attorney what remedies are available to you; then draw boundaries and stand by them.

[mistoffolees]

IMO your STBX is just being kind of an asshat.

I guess I'm having trouble seeing that.

1. STBX refuses to sign a quit claim until he receives his share of the equity. I think that's entirely reasonable. Doing anything else would likely cause more trouble than it's worth.

2. STBX refuses to move out until ordered to do so by the judge. Again, that's entirely reasonable. If OP can't stand living with him, SHE can move out if she wishes. The house belongs equally to both until the divorce determines otherwise. Why should STBX be forced to pay rent and furnish another house if there's no order to that effect?

[LdiJ]

I guess I'm having trouble seeing that.

1. STBX refuses to sign a quit claim until he receives his share of the equity. I think that's entirely reasonable. Doing anything else would likely cause more trouble than it's worth.

2. STBX refuses to move out until ordered to do so by the judge. Again, that's entirely reasonable. If OP can't stand living with him, SHE can move out if she wishes. The house belongs equally to both until the divorce determines otherwise. Why should STBX be forced to pay rent and furnish another house if there's no order to that effect?

In this case its not entirely reasonable for him to insist on remaining in the house, since he apparently agrees that she is the one who is going to be keeping the house.

She needs to ask the judge to order that she have temporary sole possession of the house.

OP, in your last thread you were given some creative ideas about how to get him the housing he wanted, and deal with alimony at the same time. Have you considered being creative?

[mistoffolees]

In this case its not entirely reasonable for him to insist on remaining in the house, since he apparently agrees that she is the one who is going to be keeping the house.

I don't see that. EVENTUALLY, he'll give up the house. But there's no order for him to give up the house today. Why should he have to pay rent and set up a separate home for her benefit when there's no legal requirement for him to do so?

If she feels that strongly about it, she could offer to pay for half of the rent on another place while the divorce is pending.

[deathbydiva]

I guess I'm having trouble seeing that.

1. STBX refuses to sign a quit claim until he receives his share of the equity. I think that's entirely reasonable. Doing anything else would likely cause more trouble than it's worth.

2. STBX refuses to move out until ordered to do so by the judge. Again, that's entirely reasonable. If OP can't stand living with him, SHE can move out if she wishes. The house belongs equally to both until the divorce determines otherwise. Why should STBX be forced to pay rent and furnish another house if there's no order to that effect?

If you're having trouble seeing this, then apparently you missed the part of my post about requesting a court order granting her sole use of the house while the divorce is pending. He is already planning on moving out and letting her keep the house, so staying in it serves no purpose other than to be a schmuk.

As far as her paying HIS rent to move - the same order that gives her sole use of the house will most likely also order HER to pay the mortgage. Why should she have to pay for her home and his?

I never said that she should expect him to sign a QC prior to receiving his share of the equity. I said that it is not usual for her to have to complete refinance prior to finalizing the divorce. I guess there's no real reason NOT to, but most people are happy to move out and get on with their lives while their STBX deals with the paperwork. He's not going to lose out on his equity because that will be in a court order; his presence in the house has no effect on that one way or the other.

[LdiJ]

If you're having trouble seeing this, then apparently you missed the part of my post about requesting a court order granting her sole use of the house while the divorce is pending. He is already planning on moving out and letting her keep the house, so staying in it serves no purpose other than to be a schmuk.

As far as her paying HIS rent to move - the same order that gives her sole use of the house will most likely also order HER to pay the mortgage. Why should she have to pay for her home and his?

I never said that she should expect him to sign a QC prior to receiving his share of the equity. I said that it is not usual for her to have to complete refinance prior to finalizing the divorce. I guess there's no real reason NOT to, but most people are happy to move out and get on with their lives while their STBX deals with the paperwork. He's not going to lose out on his equity because that will be in a court order; his presence in the house has no effect on that one way or the other.

You don't know some of this poster's history. He is on disability and her income is signficantly higher than his. Therefore she is facing the possibility of having to pay some alimony.

If you click on the little blue dot next to her name, and then go to her profile, you will then be able to view a list of the threads she has posted. You can get the backstory there.

[mistoffolees]

If you're having trouble seeing this, then apparently you missed the part of my post about requesting a court order granting her sole use of the house while the divorce is pending. He is already planning on moving out and letting her keep the house, so staying in it serves no purpose other than to be a schmuk.

As far as her paying HIS rent to move - the same order that gives her sole use of the house will most likely also order HER to pay the mortgage. Why should she have to pay for her home and his?.

IF she gets an order granting her sole use, then you'd be right. But she has no such order. All we have is that she would like to have the house to herself. That doesn't carry a whole lot of weight in determining what he should do. If I did everything my ex requested, I'd be living on the street in an empty box.

Until she gets an order, the house is just as much his as it is hers. For all we know, he might also be filing an order requesting sole use of the house - we don't have his side.

All we can go on is what the court has ordered. In this case, there is no court order, so she doesn't have any more rights than he does.