House and Retirement Funds

[Radimus]

What is the name of your state? VA

I bought a townhome before marriage. The title is under me only. Do I have to split the equity? What about retirement funds like 401k?

Basically, my ex never worked. She didn't pay a penny for anything. Mortgage, car payments, car insurance, utilities, credit cards, etc...We don't have kids and she is in school. I've also been paying her tuition too. Anything and everything was paid by me and now she wants a divorce. I've paid for everything and now, I'm going to lose 50% of everything that I've worked so hard for. Can someone help me?

 

[nextwife]

If you used any marital funds to maintain or make mortgage payments, it becomes marital property. In some states, the primary residence also has "homestead status" and is shared property by virtue of living there during the marriage.

If it was F&C before marriage and no marital funds went into the proerty, it may not have become marital property.

If now marital property, the equity that accrued DURING the marriage gets split. Same with portion of 401K funds that accrued during the marriage. You basically agreed" to her not working by staying in the marriage and supporting her all this time..

 

[Radimus]

I also signed a paper stating that I would pay all of her financial concerns while she was going through school. I don't have the paper anymore but I remember saying that "even during separation" or something like that. I felt like I was coerced into signing this paper because at that time she said she was going to leave and she would never wanted to see me again if I didn't sign the paper. So I basically thought that if we got married I was going to be paying for her education anyway so why not, without giving much thought. And now she wants me to pay for her entire undergraduate and post-graduate education and pay for fees, books, meal plans, and provide cash per month for living expenses. She didn't earn a single dime and she is trying to clean me out. Could she do this? I'm even thinking about selling the house and move in with my parents because I'm taking out loans to pay for her tuition. She basically wants to live her life as though we were married. What is right?

 

[nextwife]

I also signed a paper stating that I would pay all of her financial concerns while she was going through school. I don't have the paper anymore but I remember saying that "even during separation" or something like that. I felt like I was coerced into signing this paper because at that time she said she was going to leave and she would never wanted to see me again if I didn't sign the paper. So I basically thought that if we got married I was going to be paying for her education anyway so why not, without giving much thought. And now she wants me to pay for her entire undergraduate and post-graduate education and pay for fees, books, meal plans, and provide cash per month for living expenses. She didn't earn a single dime and she is trying to clean me out. Could she do this? I'm even thinking about selling the house and move in with my parents because I'm taking out loans to pay for her tuition. She basically wants to live her life as though we were married. What is right?

Egads. STOP paying anything that you are not obligated by the court to pay. Of course your own debt obligations must be met.

Shall I quote PT Barnum?