How to CMA!

[wondering2004]

What is the name of your state? IL

brief story...married 11 years...husband has some emotional/menta "issues" that he sought therapy for years ago but only briefly. Since having kids we have fought about his drug use a lot. We also have fought about his not getting help for his "issues". Last winter he became very verbally abusive and a tad physically. Mostly intimidation tactics (busting open doors..threatening to kill me ...those kind of things). This past August we talked and agreed (when he is not "down" he is quite a nice guy) that he would (or us together if he wants) schedule therapy or I was going to take the kids and leave. It is December so I am thinking I need to follow thru on this because I don't want to live with someone I am afraid of and when I am not afraid...I am just anticipating the next time I am going to be afraid. ANYWAY - he has access to free lawyers....I am a stay at home mom..I am totally dependent on him financially ..we have two kids under 3...I am working on getting to a place where I can go and not be afraid of him destroying me but in the mean time I was wondering if anyone could advise me on things I could be doing. I did not document anything that happened before...should i write it all down and have someone hold it for me? What can I do ahead of time to ensure that I get custody of the children (my main concern) even though he will have the financial and legal resources that I do not.

any advice is appreciated. THanks

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Please contact your local police department re domestic violence couneling or contact this site for referals
www.ilcadv.org/

 

[wondering2004]

reason for not doing that....

i thought of going to the police to at least file a complaint...but i did not at the time...my reasoning (not saying it was a good one) is that it would cause him to maybe have some problems with INS. Regardless, i can not file a complaint now unless he does something again...and I am hoping that either he gets help or I get out before that happens.

Would me journaling what has happened and the approx dates be of any use?

If we split...I want it to be as friendly as possible because of the kids...but I need to have my backend covered incase he pulls out the big guns...but I do not want to antagonize that into happening.

THanks for the link and the advice!!