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how do i enforce split payments

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stripedshirt

Junior Member
The divorce paper says that daycare costs will be split. If one party says that they will not be held accountable because they were not included in choosing whether or not daycare was necessary, does this allow for the cost of daycare to be solely relied upon the one party? What can I do to get the other person to pay so that the child has a provider when necessary? What are my legal steps to take in order to get this to take effect immediately?
 


justalayman

Senior Member
the order is the order, regardless what either party says or feels about the situation


What can I do to get the other person to pay so that the child has a provider when necessary?
it may require you paying and seeking repayment from the other parent


W
hat are my legal steps to take in order to get this to take effect immediately?
to get what to take effect immediately? The order from the court is either in effect or it will list a date it becomes effective. If you mean forcing the other parent to pay, well, you have a problem. Often times you have to go back to court to get a judgment against the other party and have a judge order the other party repay you.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
it may require you paying and seeking repayment from the other parent
In other words, the daycare is under no obligation to continue providing its services to you if the other party does not pay. They get to be paid in full, and then you seek his reimbursement through the courts.

Why did you not seek his input before enrolling the child? What does the order ACTUALLY say (w/o names, please)>
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
The divorce paper says that daycare costs will be split. If one party says that they will not be held accountable because they were not included in choosing whether or not daycare was necessary, does this allow for the cost of daycare to be solely relied upon the one party? What can I do to get the other person to pay so that the child has a provider when necessary? What are my legal steps to take in order to get this to take effect immediately?
Can you elaborate on the bolded? I am asking because that is a very odd statement for the parent to make. Daycare is either needed, or its not.
 

stripedshirt

Junior Member
In other words, the daycare is under no obligation to continue providing its services to you if the other party does not pay. They get to be paid in full, and then you seek his reimbursement through the courts.

Why did you not seek his input before enrolling the child? What does the order ACTUALLY say (w/o names, please)>
the order is not very specific, it just states that when and if the child is in daycare or needs those services, each parent is responsible for a certain amount. He is against me having anyone watch our child because he is against me going to school. He said that I should stop doing it and do something that will allow me to not use daycare. So, it is not a daycare that I am using, I was lucky enough to get a family member to help out, but the only way she could do it is if she quit her job and this was a regular position. My son requires special needs assistance and having a familiar member take him to his appointments and daily routines will help him to be a more positive way to adjust to change.
 

stripedshirt

Junior Member
Can you elaborate on the bolded? I am asking because that is a very odd statement for the parent to make. Daycare is either needed, or its not.
Okay, well care is needed for my child, on a part time basis. My ex does not approve of me having chosen daycare for our child. He believes that whatever I am doing, I need to work it so that I am not using daycare but if I do, that he be able to pick it. He does not want to pay, to put it simply. He no longer lives in the same state as I do and there is not way for me to not use daycare. I was told that if he does not pay his portion, he is in contempt of court? Just not sure where to go from here I guess.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Okay, well care is needed for my child, on a part time basis. My ex does not approve of me having chosen daycare for our child. He believes that whatever I am doing, I need to work it so that I am not using daycare but if I do, that he be able to pick it. He does not want to pay, to put it simply. He no longer lives in the same state as I do and there is not way for me to not use daycare. I was told that if he does not pay his portion, he is in contempt of court? Just not sure where to go from here I guess.
Ok..then you need to take him to court for contempt if he does not pay his fair share of the daycare costs. He doesn't get to control your life so that daycare is not needed.
 

sandyclaus

Senior Member
Okay, well care is needed for my child, on a part time basis. My ex does not approve of me having chosen daycare for our child. He believes that whatever I am doing, I need to work it so that I am not using daycare but if I do, that he be able to pick it. He does not want to pay, to put it simply. He no longer lives in the same state as I do and there is not way for me to not use daycare. I was told that if he does not pay his portion, he is in contempt of court? Just not sure where to go from here I guess.
What ARE you using daycare for?

Generally speaking, daycare should be used when the parents are unavailable to care for the child because of other commitments. If you are using daycare, and you expect your ex to pay for it, you SHOULD be utilizing those services only when needed, such as when you are working. You SHOULD NOT be using daycare for things like personal time unless absolutely necessary, such as if you have a doctor's appointment.

I get the impression that your ex may not so much have a problem with paying for daycare, as much as he has a problem paying for daycare when YOU should be spending the time with your child instead. As a parent, and especially as a single parent, one makes sacrifices of their time so that the child is cared for. If you are spending a lot of personal time outside of work, and putting your child in daycare while you do it, that's a problem -and I could understand if he takes issue with it. It's not his job to finance your "me" time. I'm sure that the court order wasn't written with that intent.
 
What ARE you using daycare for?

Generally speaking, daycare should be used when the parents are unavailable to care for the child because of other commitments. If you are using daycare, and you expect your ex to pay for it, you SHOULD be utilizing those services only when needed, such as when you are working. You SHOULD NOT be using daycare for things like personal time unless absolutely necessary, such as if you have a doctor's appointment.

I get the impression that your ex may not so much have a problem with paying for daycare, as much as he has a problem paying for daycare when YOU should be spending the time with your child instead. As a parent, and especially as a single parent, one makes sacrifices of their time so that the child is cared for. If you are spending a lot of personal time outside of work, and putting your child in daycare while you do it, that's a problem -and I could understand if he takes issue with it. It's not his job to finance your "me" time. I'm sure that the court order wasn't written with that intent.
I am thinking the OP is using the child care to attend school and the father is against her doing anything (school or work) that requires day care because he doesn't want the added expense. The OPs post wasn't clear but that was my take on it.
 

stripedshirt

Junior Member
I agree. OP needs daycare so she can go to school. Dad has no say in that matter.
Yes, i'm a full time student and I had to opt for evening classes because the day ones were too far away and would not leave me enough time to get my child to and from school. My child has several appointments throughout the week and I make sure I adjust all things in my life so that it accommodates my child best. i'm just trying to do the right thing. I don't want to take him to court, I want to be able to work it out, that has never proven to be an effective tool for us so I guess the next step is heading back to court, unfortunately. Thank you all for all the input, I appreciate it more than you could ever know.
 

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