How do I get this heard? What do I do now?

[seekintennessee]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Tennessee

My story is long and involves too much drama...so I'll just shorten it for now.

My husband had an affair, told me he wanted the house and then allowed me to have a prepaid american express in his name (containing approx 4K) to move out of the marital home and back to my home state. I agreed, took the card, sent 3500 to my sister via paypal to find me a home in my home state and left a few weeks later. Much drama through email persisted...however he filed for divorce in July and an mda, giving him the house, was sent to me by regular mail. It did not contain an agreement on a joint loan that my ex had agreed to take over and ex's attorney said he would send me letterhead stating it would be in the final decree. I held off a few days before signing the mda waiting for the letterhead to arrive. Three days later, while waiting, I received an email from paypal. The ex (thinking the mda had been signed) had disputed my charges with american express, which were made over 3 months prior, and my sister's account was deducted 3500 and frozen.

Through email, the ex stated that it was all of course my fault, and demanded that I send him $775 and sign the mda as it stood and he would cancel the charges of unauthorized use against me. I had no money to send him. I have no money for an attorney.

I instead filed an answer to his complaint for divorce pro se, denying that he should be entitled to retain the home, filing as grounds that he had committed adultery or in the alternative, irreconcilable differences. I also included an affirmative defense asking that his complaint for divorce be dismissed due to acts of coercion, by demanding that the agreement be signed without answer in order to have charges against me dropped and monies restored. I also filed a counter-complaint, asked for equitable distribution of the home and property and asked the the court hear proof regarding the matter surrounding the card. Today I received an answer from him, denying the matter surrounding the credit card, denying that the house should be equitably divided and then moving the court to require that I file a more definite statement in regards to my grounds for divorce. Adultery. Easily proven...

His attorney asked that my complaint be dismissed and that I be billed attorneys fees.

What do I do now? I likely need a judge to see proof regarding emails discussing my authorized use of the card and his coercion...I just want this to be behind me and not being able to afford an attorney is my downfall. Is there a motion or hearing I can file to get this in front of a judge? Can I call his attorney regarding the credit card matter?

[Some Random Guy]

You are up against a lawyer in court who wants you to pay his attorney fees. Perhaps you should find a way to get your own lawyer and have that lawyer file for the husband to pay for the fees, since he has apparently left you destitute. At least do yourself the favor of consulting a lawyer before you try this alone.

In the meantime, do not forget about paypal. Send an explanation to them and copies of the e-mails showing that the charges were intentionally placed by the husband but that he is now changing his mind after the fact - which is not a valid reason to dispute a charge.

[seekintennessee]

Originally Posted by Some Random Guy

You are up against a lawyer in court who wants you to pay his attorney fees. Perhaps you should find a way to get your own lawyer and have that lawyer file for the husband to pay for the fees, since he has apparently left you destitute. At least do yourself the favor of consulting a lawyer before you try this alone.

In the meantime, do not forget about paypal. Send an explanation to them and copies of the e-mails showing that the charges were intentionally placed by the husband but that he is now changing his mind after the fact - which is not a valid reason to dispute a charge.

Thank you, random guy. I have consulted attorneys on the matter and legal aid had even offered to represent me until they realized that my situation contained a possible criminal charge of credit card fraud. They cannot assist me as the state does not allow them to be involved in criminal or even possible criminal matters. I have found no one who can represent me without a down payment...understandable...I am currently calling a list of pro bono attorneys that I was recently provided with.

I have stayed in close contact with paypal and american express...both who state that it is up to the ex to cancel these disputes against me.

Seeing as how he has denied this matter and asked that my counter complaint be dismissed, what is the next step? I can't let this be swept under the rug...my sisters ebay business and paypal account has been frozen for 2 months already...I feel horrible that I have involved her at all...

Of course, he knew that..his final email to me was "So are you saying that not giving me what I am due and not signing divorce papers is more important to you than being done with all of this? Wow, I wonder what your sister would think if she knew this." Biggest nightmare of my lifetime...and I've had my fair share of them.

[mistoffolees]

It is important to remember that things in a divorce are rarely as bad as they seem at first.

Sure, the charges of credit card fraud are scary, but can he make them stick? You are married to him (or were at the time of the incident). Even if he continues to deny giving you the credit card, it is a marital asset and it's hard to imagine a court getting involved in how a married couple spends its money. If they start in this case, they'll be settling financial disputes between married couples for eternity.

Frankly, though, there's a lot at stake here and your husband (and his attorney) have made it clear that they're going to play hard ball, so I'd suggest that you get the meanest, nastiest attorney you can find and go after him - HARD. Filing with the court to demand that he be thrown in jail for perjury as well as demanding 100% of the home equity as equitable given his fraudulent charges and damage to your reputation might be what it takes to make him back down. If there are sufficient assets, your attorney may be willing to be paid from marital assets on dissolution.

I really don't think you want to do this pro se. There are times when pro se can work, but when you're up against a nasty, unethical attorney and stbx, it's not a good time.

[seekintennessee]

Naw, he can't make the credit card fraud charges stick...honestly if it came to that I'm positive I would have a day in court and the fact that we were married, that I only responded to his emails using readnotify.com certified email, which tracked his IP address...belonging to his employer (with a subpoenaed document already obtained showing this IP address to actually belong to his employer) I seriously doubt that I'd spend a day in jail.

That's not going to get me before a judge to get an order that he reverse the charges and return the money that should rightfully be mine and has already been spent for the agreed upon purpose of me leaving the marital home though. I may not go to jail, but I'd still be out the money and I left my home based on trickery. With zero money for an attorney, no idea of the next step that I should take (since he has now denied under oath that he ever gave me the prepaid card in the first place) and no idea how to file an order or motion to get this thing heard...I think I can essentially come to one conclusion...

I'm screwed. But hey...what else can he do to me, right? Oh wait...he denied that I should be able to keep the 10 year old van he let me have also. Fabulous. I truly thank you guys for your help though. Anybody got any vaseline?