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How do you get a court order forcing your spouse to move out?

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loco19

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Missouri

Here's my background story. I've been married nearly 19 years. My husband is an alcoholic and mentally ill. He does not work. He has been in and out of psych hospitals this past year due to his mental illness and his drinking. I have made it clear that I no longer wish to deal with this and I want a divorce. I have asked him to please leave. He will not. Instead, he threatens suicide, cries hysterically, and then takes his bottles of pills and goes and sits out in his truck. He never actually follows through with his threat. A few times, I took him seriously and forced him to go to the ER, but finally I have just accepted that he's just trying to manipulate me and now I'm just really angry.

My question is this, how do I go about getting a court order to force him to leave? Do I need to hire an attorney? We have two children who have been upset by his behavior, but he is never threatening to them nor is he to me. The local police in my smal rural town have told me they cannot force him out of the house just because his scares the kids with his suicide threats and crazy, alcohol-induced behavior. He is only a danger to himself and apparently that is not enough for them to arrest him.

One of the officers told me to go to the county courthouse and swear out an order of protection against him and then he would have to leave except that he hasn't done anything to me so how can I get an order of protection against him? How do I prove that I am afraid of him or that he is a danger to me?

So what are my legal options here? Right now I'm flat broke and can't even afford to pay an attorney until payday. So I'm at a loss as to what to do. He is actually going off on one of his crying jags now and is out in his truck.

Thank you!
 


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loco19

Junior Member
How quickly after I file the suit will he have to be out? I want him out NOW! I don't think I can stand living with him one more day, let alone until I actually file.
 
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seniorjudge

Senior Member
loco19 said:
How quickly after I file the suit will he have to be out? I want him out NOW! I don't think I can stand living with him one more day, let alone until I actually file.
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Nothing in the law works fast; it could be a long time before he leaves.
 
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loco19

Junior Member
Zigner said:
Why should HE leave?
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Because he doesn't work, he doesn't pay the bills, he sits around and drinks and watches TV. He is upsetting my kids with his antics. He is constantly threatening to kill himself. He is a complete disruption to my family. That is why HE should leave. I paid for this house. I support my kids. I make sure they are taken care of. NOT him.
 
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mistoffolees

Senior Member
loco19 said:
Because he doesn't work, he doesn't pay the bills, he sits around and drinks and watches TV. He is upsetting my kids with his antics. He is constantly threatening to kill himself. He is a complete disruption to my family. That is why HE should leave. I paid for this house. I support my kids. I make sure they are taken care of. NOT him.
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Yet he is your husband. That makes it a marital residence and, as of today, he has every bit as much right to live there as you do.

If you expect to get a court order to force him out, you need to make a major attitude adjustment. "I work hard and he's a bum" won't get you very far.

You could argue that it's better for the kids to stay in that home and that you are more capable of caring for the kids. That is an argument that would get you what you want (IF you could prove it, of course). You could also argue that you can not live with him and that, of the two of you, you're the only one who has the income to keep the house, or that he's a bad influence in the kids.

But stop with the "He's no good and he's a bum and I want him out" stuff. It may well backfire on you (for example, if he's home all day and you're working, then he's probably the primary caretaker of the kids. That gives him an edge in a custody battle).

You really need a good attorney.
 
S

Silverplum

Senior Member
mistoffolees said:
Yet he is your husband. That makes it a marital residence and, as of today, he has every bit as much right to live there as you do.

If you expect to get a court order to force him out, you need to make a major attitude adjustment. "I work hard and he's a bum" won't get you very far.

You could argue that it's better for the kids to stay in that home and that you are more capable of caring for the kids. That is an argument that would get you what you want (IF you could prove it, of course). You could also argue that you can not live with him and that, of the two of you, you're the only one who has the income to keep the house, or that he's a bad influence in the kids.

But stop with the "He's no good and he's a bum and I want him out" stuff. It may well backfire on you (for example, if he's home all day and you're working, then he's probably the primary caretaker of the kids. That gives him an edge in a custody battle).

You really need a good attorney.
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Likely he IS the primary caretaker. She can pay support.
 
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loco19

Junior Member
He is NOT the caretaker of my children. I work full time from home precisely so I would never have to leave my children in his care EVER. The man is mentally ill, bipolar disorder. He is an alcoholic and he has become suicidal. I would no sooner let him care for my dog than I would for my children. I have been working from home for the last 10 years so that my children are taken care of by me because he cannot be trusted.

Of course I want the house. It is paid for and I paid for it. He is a danger to the kids. He cannot be trusted to care for the kids. My kids are afraid to be alone with him because he drinks and gets suicidal. He has been refusing to leave for months and I have not had the funds to pay an attorney and file for divorce. However, I am in a position to file within the next couple of weeks and I intend to. Until then, I do not want him here period. I want him gone, out. The kids do not want him here.

And I absolutely will NOT provide him with any freaking support or alimony whatsoever.
 
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Silverplum

Senior Member
Be sure to tell the judge exactly what I've bolded.

loco19 said:
He is NOT the caretaker of my children. I work full time from home precisely so I would never have to leave my children in his care EVER. The man is mentally ill, bipolar disorder. He is an alcoholic and he has become suicidal. I would no sooner let him care for my dog than I would for my children. I have been working from home for the last 10 years so that my children are taken care of by me because he cannot be trusted.

Of course I want the house. It is paid for and I paid for it. He is a danger to the kids. He cannot be trusted to care for the kids. My kids are afraid to be alone with him because he drinks and gets suicidal. He has been refusing to leave for months and I have not had the funds to pay an attorney and file for divorce. However, I am in a position to file within the next couple of weeks and I intend to. Until then, I do not want him here period. I want him gone, out. The kids do not want him here.

And I absolutely will NOT provide him with any freaking support or alimony whatsoever.
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