How to end the divorce that never ends?

[Harmonygrl]

What is the name of your state? Georgia

Hello, I was an active poster last year on behalf of my divorcing friend. I haven't been back in a while because the last thing that happened last autumn was that the judge actually granted a last-minute continuance for an indeterminate amount of time to my friend's stbx.

She had her surgery (reason for the continuance, even though the hearing was scheduled a week before the surgery), and she continues to stall and delay and threaten. Most recently, a final hearing date was set for the beginning of June. At first, the stbx resisted it and demand a special hearing on the grounds that she couldn't physically sit in a courtroom waiting all day for her turn to arrive on the docket. After some wrangling, a special hearing date was found and set -- which she then rejected. Another hearing date was set (this one in the start of June), and the other side went quiet, until recently.

The stbx recently contacted my friend via email, asking him to delay the hearing again due to her health issues. She claims that she cannot sit for more than an hour without pain. She also gave a long laundry list of health issues, none of them life-threatening but some might require more surgery. Meanwhile, she is living rent-free with relatives while my friend has to foot the legal bills, maintain the marital home, pay the stbx temporary support -- and he goes further into debt each month.

Personally, I think this individual has psych problems where she is addicted to the attention she gets from doctors and family for being "sick" but that's a whole other story. Anyway, the judge has already granted one continuance for her to receive back surgery, and now she is trying to claim she still has all these health problems that preclude her from attending the final hearing.

This divorce has been dragging on for nearly 18 months. They have no children. She has repeatedly applied for SSDI and been rejected each time. However, the judge seems somewhat biased towards the stbx in thinking that she may not be able to work -- but the stbx's former profession (before she became a professional patient!) was in an office, which is quite sedentary. I mean, people in wheelchairs work at desks all the time, if that is what is deemed necessary.

Anyway, what else can my friend do within the bounds of the law to get this resolved so he can move on?

Thank you for listening and for any advice you may have to offer.

[LdiJ]

Its possible that the issue here really isn't a desire on the stbx's part to remain married to your friend, but an issue of the fact that she will be losing her medical insurance once the divorce is final. If she has ongoing health problems that can be very problematic.

Is Cobra available and has your friend researched how much that will cost?

[Blue Meanie]

Originally Posted by LdiJ

Its possible that the issue here really isn't a desire on the stbx's part to remain married to your friend, but an issue of the fact that she will be losing her medical insurance once the divorce is final. If she has ongoing health problems that can be very problematic.

Is Cobra available and has your friend researched how much that will cost?

That is not the issue. STBX has posted on here and she is deliberately dragging out the process so that OP's friend will have to continue SS.

Harmony...Have your friend talk to his attorney about STBX's threads here and see if they could be used to show the court her intent.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by baystategirl

That is not the issue. STBX has posted on here and she is deliberately dragging out the process so that OP's friend will have to continue SS.

Harmony...Have your friend talk to his attorney about STBX's threads here and see if they could be used to show the court her intent.

Ah...I was not aware of that.

[Harmonygrl]

Ld, to answer your question, COBRA is available through my friend's employers health plan as mandated by law. I believe the length of time is either 18 months or 3 years, whatever the law says. The stbx believes that my friend will inevitably have to pay COBRA in addition to the several hundred dollars of "temporary" SS he is paying each month.

Bay, yes I did tell my friend last year, and he found this and other public blogs where she uses her real name etc. where she openly discusses her plans to drag out proceedings, etc. The attorney has these and lots of other evidence to use at trial.

The real issue here is that the stbx has a pattern of being untruthful and unwilling to proceed, for whatever her reasons. I can't go into details here on the chance that TMI would harm my friend's case, but there is documented evidence of her exaggerating expenses and symptoms.

In any case, what can my friend do to prevent the final hearing from being stalled yet again?

[katkat75]

*this is not legal advice just a question*

Will the courts allow the stbx to appear by phone? On the phone you can stand up, sit down, stand on your head...

[Harmonygrl]

That is a great idea, Kat -- I will pass that along - thanks!

Originally Posted by katkat75

*this is not legal advice just a question*

Will the courts allow the stbx to appear by phone? On the phone you can stand up, sit down, stand on your head...

[MFinancier]

Was there a trial date set? Was there a counter petition filed ? Was there any pretrial guidance? Are there any discovery issues remaining? 18 months is about average here in Illinois, and so are health issues that appear out of nowhere...but I saw an amazing out burst from a judge the other day on a case that sounds very similar. After 28 months and several continuances, a trial date had been set, there were already two pretrial hearings and no discovery issues remaining. The petitioner was having no luck trying to claim she was too unhealthy to work. So...she faked a heart attack( blood workup at emergency room showed no tags!) the day before trial. The petitioners attorney showed up the next day to ask for another continuance and the respondent and their counsel showed up and requested to move forward on the counter petition they had filed shortly after the petitioners first continuance (just in case she got cold feet). The judge got furious with the petitioners attorney and told them to get their client into court or she (the judge) would have the sheriffs department bring the petitioner into court on a body attachment. Needless to say the petitioner showed up about 30 minutes later with no apparent heart problems...and she got NO maintenance. I still am not sure about the legal precedent here...but it seems the key was the threat of a counter petition and a very upset judge! Maybe some of the other legal minds here would like to comment. Just thought I might add this to the thread!

[Harmonygrl]

Thank you for your reply -- please bear with me because I am not sure how to answer your questions exactly, but I will try.

Trial date set? There is a final hearing date set in June.

Counter petition filed? I don't know what that means, I apologize. I think what you mean is did her attorney request that they move the date? If this is what you mean, then no. The source of this "request" is from the stbx contacting my friend directly.

Discovery issues? The stbx has refused to answer discovery for over a year.

Pretrial guidance? Not sure how to answer this, I apologize.

If you care to clarify, I will answer again to the best of my ability. Thanks again for your feedback!

Originally Posted by MFinancier

Was there a trial date set? Was there a counter petition filed ? Was there any pretrial guidance? Are there any discovery issues remaining? 18 months is about average here in Illinois, and so are health issues that appear out of nowhere...but I saw an amazing out burst from a judge the other day on a case that sounds very similar. After 28 months and several continuances, a trial date had been set, there were already two pretrial hearings and no discovery issues remaining. The petitioner was having no luck trying to claim she was too unhealthy to work. So...she faked a heart attack( blood workup at emergency room showed no tags!) the day before trial. The petitioners attorney showed up the next day to ask for another continuance and the respondent and their counsel showed up and requested to move forward on the counter petition they had filed shortly after the petitioners first continuance (just in case she got cold feet). The judge got furious with the petitioners attorney and told them to get their client into court or she (the judge) would have the sheriffs department bring the petitioner into court on a body attachment. Needless to say the petitioner showed up about 30 minutes later with no apparent heart problems...and she got NO maintenance. I still am not sure about the legal precedent here...but it seems the key was the threat of a counter petition and a very upset judge! Maybe some of the other legal minds here would like to comment. Just thought I might add this to the thread!

[MFinancier]

Trial date set? There is a final hearing date set in June.

Same thing! I'm sorry I see you did answer that in you first post.

Counter petition filed? I don't know what that means, I apologize. I think what you mean is did her attorney request that they move the date? If this is what you mean, then no. The source of this "request" is from the stbx contacting my friend directly.

The counter petiton is usually a part of the answer and response to the original petition...but not always. It allows the process to continue even if the petitioner decides to voluntarily drop their petition. It doesn't have anything to do with hearing dates or continuances. This is a legal question your friends attorney is best suited to anwser. Please have him consult with his attorney for an exact explanation!!!

Discovery issues? The stbx has refused to answer discovery for over a year.

Respondent and petitioner have to respond to discovery requests, interrogatories, depositions, etc. or anwser to the judge. Discovery periods are limited and the judge can "close" discovery once all relevent info has been produced. Then if you still have issues, you will get pretrial guidance. Then you go to trial if you can't settle up. Your friends attorney should be on top of this.


Pretrial guidance? Not sure how to answer this, I apologize.

In pretrial hearings Judges give "guidance" to attorneys on how they will rule in a trial or final hearing. Once there is a pretrial...the hand writing is on the wall as they say. Once again...your friends attorney will know this.

[Harmonygrl]

Thank you. and I will tell my friend to ask these questions to his attorney.

Originally Posted by MFinancier

Trial date set? There is a final hearing date set in June.

Same thing! I'm sorry I see you did anwser that in you first post.

Counter petition filed? I don't know what that means, I apologize. I think what you mean is did her attorney request that they move the date? If this is what you mean, then no. The source of this "request" is from the stbx contacting my friend directly.

The counter petiton is usually a part of the anwser and response to the original petition...but not always. It allows the process to continue even if the petitoner decides to voluntarily drop their petition. It doesn't have anything to do with hearing dates or continuances. This is a legal question your friends attorney is best suited to anwser. Please have him consult with his attorney for an exact explanation!!!

Discovery issues? The stbx has refused to answer discovery for over a year.

Respondent and petitioner have to respond to discovery requests, interrogatories, depositions, etc. or anwser to the judge. Discovery periods are limited and the judge can "close" discovery once all relevent info has been produced. Then if you still have issues, you will get pretrial guidance. Then you go to trial if you can't settle up. Your friends attorney should be on top of this.


Pretrial guidance? Not sure how to answer this, I apologize.

In pretrial hearings Judges give "guidance" to attorneys on how they will rule in a trial or final hearing. Once there is a pretrial...the hand writing is on the wall as they say. Once again...your friends attorney will know this.

[MFinancier]

Originally Posted by Harmonygrl

Thank you. and I will tell my friend to ask these questions to his attorney.

Yes..his attorneys advice should definitely supersede any info you get from me. Sorry about all the spelling errors...I'm beat!! Good Luck!!!