What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? VA
As I stated "This money are saving during our married " from her income. All my earned money went to joint checking account. If we have some extra money from checking acct she put in cd's with ONLY HER NAME and her mother as benificiary. I don't want to get in the fight because I want my name on cd's. I'm thinking if we divorce it'll split anyway therefore; I don't care about what's name on CD's. As your comment; it's doesn't matter just her name or both names on CD's, it'll be 50:50 anyway.
What about her house before our wedding, now in our names on the deed and mortgage ?
How can we say this much of money was yours before wedding and How can I say this amount of money retirement was mine before wedding. It's over 11 years ago.
You shouldn't have much trouble with the CDs. HOWEVER, since the money is solely in her name, she can do what she wants with it. For example, if she adds her mother's name to the CDs, then $400 K would belong to her mother and $400 K would be marital - and split between the two of you. Or, she could give all of it to her mother (might create some gift taxes problems, but they can work around that).
IF you had filed for divorce, there would be an automatic lock on the assets and she would not be able to do anything with them without court approval (other than normal living expenses or legal expenses). But since no divorce has been filed, she can do what she wants. Now, if she were to add her mother's name or give the money away before you filed for divorce, she MIGHT be forced to account for the money, particularly if the filing is soon after she gives the money away because there is a 'look back' period in most states. DO NOT RELY ON THIS OPINION, but you MIGHT be protected if you filed for divorce immediately after she gave the money away, but please see an attorney before accepting that (there is, of course, also the problem of Mom spending or hiding the money).
401K and retirement accounts will be split, hopefully with a QDRO if you're smart (that means that the money is split without cashing out the account which would incur a tax liability in most cases). Any amounts in the account before you were married would be separate property, but you would have to prove the amount. If you don't have records, you would subpoena records from the broker. Any amounts added since the marriage (either your contributions or growth in the account) would be marital. Even there, it is sometimes possible to separate out the portion of the value growth based on pre-marital investments.For example, see:
Property Division Washington State Property Law in Divorce Cases. How is property divided in WA State when parties split up and end their marriage? - Seattle Divorce Attorney. Washington State Lawyer
The home is a little trickier. Your name is on the title so you both own 1/2 of the home and 1/2 of the mortgage (if any). HOWEVER, even though you're in a community property state, it can be complicated and there might be ways to separate out her equity at the time of marriage.
You have enough assets that you really need to see a good local attorney now. Even if you're not planning to divorce, you should find out what is involved and how to protect yourself.