Husband holding my passport and my kids' passport

[quelucita]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? I am a resident of NY, but have been living in Singapore for 10 months.

My husband and I have been having horrible marital problems for the past 5 years. The last year has been the worst. He abandoned me and the kids only weeks after arriving in Singapore. At the time my twins were only 1 year and my eldest 3 years. I have endured a lot by myself with 3 kids. He has his own place but comes and goes as he pleases. He continues to harass me every chance he gets and abuse me in many ways. I told him I was going back to the States because my physical and mental health have declined and I can't no longer tolerate being alone and without any emotional support. I told him I was going to get the emotional support I needed at this time from my mother. I also told him I would speak to landlord and tell him that in order not to lose our deposit and other fees that I would be willing to stay until he found a new tenant. I also spoke to my daughter's school and told them that I plan to move to the states but did not want to lose the $10,000 for her tuition. They said I would not lose all but a portion for withdrawal. My husband wrote to landlord told him he did not authorize me to break lease. Prohibited me from withdrawing daughter from school. Told me I could not leave until the end of 2010 and is now withholding my passport and that of my kids. I am in a country where women rights are minimal. What do I do? I know the US embassy will probably tell me I need the consent of the father to obtain passport for my babies. Please help me.

 

[Ohiogal]

The only option you have is to contact the US Embassy.

 

[mistoffolees]

The only option you have is to contact the US Embassy.

And, yes, they may require the father's approval. Or OP may have to initiate legal action in that country.

 

[Proserpina]

Read the rules of the Women's Charter (singapore).

Custody of children
124. In any proceedings for divorce, judicial separation or nullity of marriage, the court may, at any stage of the proceedings, or after a final judgment has been granted, make such orders as it thinks fit with respect to the welfare of any child and may vary or discharge the said orders, and may, if it thinks fit, direct that proceedings be commenced for placing the child under the protection of the court.

Paramount consideration to be welfare of child
125. —(1) The court may at any time by order place a child in the custody of his or her father or his or her mother or (where there are exceptional circumstances making it undesirable that the child be entrusted to either parent) of any other relative of the child or of any organisation or association the objects of which include child welfare, or to any other suitable person.

(2) In deciding in whose custody a child should be placed, the paramount consideration shall be the welfare of the child and subject to this, the court shall have regard —

(a) to the wishes of the parents of the child; and

(b) to the wishes of the child, where he or she is of an age to express an independent opinion.

Actual website: WOMEN’S CHARTER There's some really helpful information there.

More to come, hopefully.

 

[Proserpina]

(pssst...in response to the note you sent me about the "hate" thing : it wasn't personal - it's part of OG's signature line and it appears on every one of her posts )

 

[LdiJ]

I would definitely recommend that you contact the US Embassy ASAP for assistance. If Singapore is a signatory to the Hague Convention the US still has jurisdiction over the children because they have only lived in Singapore for 10 months. He may want to keep you there until the end of 2010 so that Singapore would retain jurisdiction of the children. That would happen once they have been there for a full 2 years.

If Singapore is NOT a signatory to the Hague Convention, then the Embassy may very well be willing to issue replacement passports for the children without dad's signature...and may be willing to help you get home.

By all means, contact them ASAP...and do not allow your husband to find out that you are doing so.

 

[Proserpina]

I would definitely recommend that you contact the US Embassy ASAP for assistance. If Singapore is a signatory to the Hague Convention the US still has jurisdiction over the children because they have only lived in Singapore for 10 months. He may want to keep you there until the end of 2010 so that Singapore would retain jurisdiction of the children. That would happen once they have been there for a full 2 years.

If Singapore is NOT a signatory to the Hague Convention, then the Embassy may very well be willing to issue replacement passports for the children without dad's signature...and may be willing to help you get home.

By all means, contact them ASAP...and do not allow your husband to find out that you are doing so.

Unfortunately the Embassy will still require both parents to approve a minor's passport application.

Most significantly, a minor under age 16 MUST appear with BOTH parents when submitting an application for a passport. The appearance of both parents cannot be waived, (although there is provision, in certain circumstances, for one parent to present a letter of authorization, together with one attending parent).

(full text and context Applicants Age Below 16 - U.S. Embassy Singapore)

The Embassy can, very occasionally, issue a passport having only one parent's consent but it usually requires proof that both the parent and child are, or will be, in imminent danger of severe harm or threat to life unless they are allowed to leave immediately (or at least on an emergency basis).

As Singapore isn't a signatory of the Hague Convention I'm really not sure what else OP can do but I can at least see if there are any shelters or similar which may be able to help.

Just hope OP actually comes back to read, y'know?

 

[LdiJ]

Unfortunately the Embassy will still require both parents to approve a minor's passport application.



(full text and context Applicants Age Below 16 - U.S. Embassy Singapore)

The Embassy can, very occasionally, issue a passport having only one parent's consent but it usually requires proof that both the parent and child are, or will be, in imminent danger of severe harm or threat to life unless they are allowed to leave immediately (or at least on an emergency basis).

As Singapore isn't a signatory of the Hague Convention I'm really not sure what else OP can do but I can at least see if there are any shelters or similar which may be able to help.

Just hope OP actually comes back to read, y'know?

Its not quite so black and white as you might think from the published word. Embassy staff have more leeway in countries that are not signatories to treaties. The fact that he is attempting to basically hold her and the children prisoners in Singapore (by holding their passports) could cause an embassy staffer to believe that it was justifiable to help her. She should at least, TRY.

 

[Proserpina]

The problem is OP isn't divorced yet and until she is (or has at the very least initiated a legal action) the Embassy is somewhat obliged to consider the possibility that OP is doing nothing more than trying to circumvent local custody and divorce law; though I'm aware that it's happened in one or two unique circumstances, at least initially the Embassy will be fairly limited in what they can do.

(At the moment OP has no more right to custody than Dad - and he could easily say that OP knows that the passports are all in a safe place and that she's simply trying to get a new passport so she can take the kids without his consent).

She really needs to take legal action in Singapore - until she does she's in a very, very difficult situation. (I still really hope that OP can keep checking this thread)

This site has numerous sources and contact info which might be able to assist Mom:

Family & Community Development @ eCitizen - Stop Family Violence

And this is a list of shelters which also may be able to assist Mom

Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports

 

[Proserpina]

On the offchance that OP returns to read....

Statement of Consent: Issuance of a Passport to a Minor Under Age 16: DS 3053

This is Form DS-3053 and it has to be used when you can't obtain the other parent's consent; there is ample space to explain your reasons - domestic violence and child abuse are the most commonly used. This should be submitted with the regular passport form (Form DS-11 for the children as they are all under 16) when you apply to have the passports reissued/replaced. There is no guarantee of approval - it honestly does seem to be hit and miss but it just might help.

I did find that emergency and urgent passport applications have a better chance of approval if you have actually sought help in Singapore for domestic violence - I found quite a bit of information here to help you find support and relief if you are a victim of violence.

The Subordinate Courts of Singapore - FAQs

So, the Women's Charter (which actually empowers women in Singapore a lot more than you might think!) covers some of your rights under Singapore law - and thankfully women's rights are very much the human rights priority there at the moment:

Singapore Statutes OnLine (you want Women's Charter, chapter 353)


Divorce support based in Singapore (quite a large message board, probably used by folk far more familiar with Singapore law than us here!) might at least put you in touch with others facing a similar situation:

A Singapore Parenting Directory for the Singapore Parents

And finally, a hub for American women in Singapore

American Women's Association Singapore

The only other thing I wanted to mention was that unless Dad has abused the children or threatened their lives, he does have a solid foundation to try and keep the children in Singapore - which is only fair, really.

Hopefully you can find at least a snippet of something you can actually use.

 

[Bali Hai]

On the offchance that OP returns to read....

Statement of Consent: Issuance of a Passport to a Minor Under Age 16: DS 3053

This is Form DS-3053 and it has to be used when you can't obtain the other parent's consent; there is ample space to explain your reasons - domestic violence and child abuse are the most commonly used. This should be submitted with the regular passport form (Form DS-11 for the children as they are all under 16) when you apply to have the passports reissued/replaced. There is no guarantee of approval - it honestly does seem to be hit and miss but it just might help.

I did find that emergency and urgent passport applications have a better chance of approval if you have actually sought help in Singapore for domestic violence - I found quite a bit of information here to help you find support and relief if you are a victim of violence.

The Subordinate Courts of Singapore - FAQs

So, the Women's Charter (which actually empowers women in Singapore a lot more than you might think!) covers some of your rights under Singapore law - and thankfully women's rights are very much the human rights priority there at the moment:

Singapore Statutes OnLine (you want Women's Charter, chapter 353)


Divorce support based in Singapore (quite a large message board, probably used by folk far more familiar with Singapore law than us here!) might at least put you in touch with others facing a similar situation:

A Singapore Parenting Directory for the Singapore Parents

And finally, a hub for American women in Singapore

American Women's Association Singapore

The only other thing I wanted to mention was that unless Dad has abused the children or threatened their lives, he does have a solid foundation to try and keep the children in Singapore - which is only fair, really.

Hopefully you can find at least a snippet of something you can actually use.

I have been to Singapore many times. Just let OP try to fabricate something to the authorities. She can get away with that in the US.

People in Singapore get arrested for spitting on the sidewalk.

OP has no right taking the children out of the country without her husbands permission because she needs "emotional support" from her mother.

 

[LdiJ]

I have been to Singapore many times. Just let OP try to fabricate something to the authorities. She can get away with that in the US.

People in Singapore get arrested for spitting on the sidewalk.

OP has no right taking the children out of the country without her husbands permission because she needs "emotional support" from her mother.

I wouldn't necessarily disagree with you if it wasn't for the fact that he is also holding HER passport and that he basically abandoned their marriage within days of them arriving in Singapore.

 

[Proserpina]

Agreed, LdiJ.

OP was given information that would generally apply ONLY if she was in an abusive situation - and yes, withholding her passport IS abusive - and would need to meet certain criteria before any agency would act.

I don't believe anyone suggested fabricating anything (I believe it was also acknowledged that Dad has equal rights to the children at this point).

 

[mistoffolees]

I have been to Singapore many times. Just let OP try to fabricate something to the authorities. She can get away with that in the US.

People in Singapore get arrested for spitting on the sidewalk.

OP has no right taking the children out of the country without her husbands permission because she needs "emotional support" from her mother.

Where did you get that she was fabricating anything? Dogmatique specifically said that the information she was providing was for if abuse had really occurred.

 

[Bali Hai]

Agreed, LdiJ.

OP was given information that would generally apply ONLY if she was in an abusive situation - and yes, withholding her passport IS abusive - and would need to meet certain criteria before any agency would act.

I don't believe anyone suggested fabricating anything (I believe it was also acknowledged that Dad has equal rights to the children at this point).

She doesn't need a passport because she isn't going anywhere.