husband in jail, I want total custody of daughter and no parental rights for him...

[julsters]

NY

my husband has been in jail since April 2008 and the charges are rape, incest, and sodomy of his daughter who is now 23 years old. This daughter is from a previous marriage. I do not know for sure if this really happened or not. I think I need to divorce him, get full custody of my 2 year old daughter, and I want him to give up his parental rights because if I die, she will go to him and I can't let that happen if these charges are true. Also, I want to name a non-relative guardian for my daughter, can I do that?

seeking help in NY

 

[mistoffolees]

NY

my husband has been in jail since April 2008 and the charges are rape, incest, and sodomy of his daughter who is now 23 years old. This daughter is from a previous marriage. I do not know for sure if this really happened or not. I think I need to divorce him, get full custody of my 2 year old daughter, and I want him to give up his parental rights because if I die, she will go to him and I can't let that happen if these charges are true. Also, I want to name a non-relative guardian for my daughter, can I do that?

seeking help in NY

Not likely.

You say your husband is in jail (and you do not know for sure if it has happened or not). Has he been convicted or is he being held for trial?

If he has been convicted, then you have a good chance of getting sole custody in divorce court. If he has merely been charged, it's not as likely (innocent until proven guilty, etc).

As for terminating his parental rights, you should talk with an attorney and your local child protection agency. I doubt if you're going to be able to have his parental rights terminated unless he actually harms your child. You MIGHT be able to get it set up so that he can only have supervised visitation, but if you die, he could always challenge that after your death.

Your best bet is to go for full custody now and make sure to eat your fruits and vegetables and get your exercise so the problem doesn't arise.

 

[LdiJ]

NY

my husband has been in jail since April 2008 and the charges are rape, incest, and sodomy of his daughter who is now 23 years old. This daughter is from a previous marriage. I do not know for sure if this really happened or not. I think I need to divorce him, get full custody of my 2 year old daughter, and I want him to give up his parental rights because if I die, she will go to him and I can't let that happen if these charges are true. Also, I want to name a non-relative guardian for my daughter, can I do that?

seeking help in NY

Assuming that he has actually been convicted or will be convicted of these charges, I believe that it would be quite easy to terminate his parental rights. If he is convicted of rape, sodomy and incest regarding one of his children, it would be quite easy to terminate his parental rights to any others.

However, I would definitely recommend hiring an attorney. This is not something that I would recommend attempting on your own.

 

[nextwife]

HAS he been CONVICTED?

 

[penelope10]

I am assuming that your spouse has not been convicted as you stated that he is being held in jail on CHARGES, which leads me to believe there is no conviction as of yet. (He's awaiting trail therefore) I agree with those that state that if he is CONVICTED you have a good chance of getting sole custody. Charges and conviction, however, are two completely different animals.

 

[mistoffolees]

I am assuming that your spouse has not been convicted as you stated that he is being held in jail on CHARGES, which leads me to believe there is no conviction as of yet. (He's awaiting trail therefore) I agree with those that state that if he is CONVICTED you have a good chance of getting sole custody. Charges and conviction, however, are two completely different animals.

That's essentially what I stated. However, I'm not so sure he's going to be forced to give up parental rights even if he's convicted of abusing someone else.

 

[IrishLady47]

That's essentially what I stated. However, I'm not so sure he's going to be forced to give up parental rights even if he's convicted of abusing someone else.

But, it wasn't just "someone else", it was his own daughter. I think that will mean something since OP is trying to protect their daughter.

 

[LdiJ]

But, it wasn't just "someone else", it was his own daughter. I think that will mean something since OP is trying to protect their daughter.

Absolutely, and its not ordinary abuse either, its the most egregarious of abuse. He has not been charged with simple sexual abuse. He has been charged with rape, incest and sodomy. The prosecutor is after the max that can be achieved.

If he is convicted, he may be going away for long enough that it won't matter whether or not his parental rights are terminated.

However, the bottom line is that there are crimes serious enough to warrant the termination of someone's parental rights, even if those crimes were not directly against the specific child in question.

 

[InsaneJane]

He is your husband and father of your children. Don't you think that you should go talk to him?

 

[Just Blue]

That's essentially what I stated. However, I'm not so sure he's going to be forced to give up parental rights even if he's convicted of abusing someone else.

The alleged victim is a sibling to the child in question...And you are "not so sure" he would have his rights terminated?? Seriously??

 

[Just Blue]

He is your husband and father of your children. Don't you think that you should go talk to him?

Talk to him about what?? Whether he did it?? Guess what he would say to that question???

 

[njjean]

"It almost never fails: OP asks for advice"

I am new here. What is "OP"?

 

[njjean]

You need to find a REAL LAWYER

NY

my husband has been in jail since April 2008 and the charges are rape, incest, and sodomy of his daughter who is now 23 years old. This daughter is from a previous marriage. I do not know for sure if this really happened or not. I think I need to divorce him, get full custody of my 2 year old daughter, and I want him to give up his parental rights because if I die, she will go to him and I can't let that happen if these charges are true. Also, I want to name a non-relative guardian for my daughter, can I do that?

seeking help in NY

This is serious. I just joined this site and I do not see much advice that appears to be from LAWYERS. I believe most of the posts are from wannabe lawyers or folks just having fun. Your daughter is in danger. You need to hire the best custody lawyer you can find.

I am sure there are many well-meaning people posting responses here, maybe even a real lawyer or two. This site is interesting, but not the place to come for legal advice for a life threatening issue. Good luck!

 

[mistoffolees]

The alleged victim is a sibling to the child in question...And you are "not so sure" he would have his rights terminated?? Seriously??

Yes, I'm not sure.

The courts go to great lengths to guarantee parental rights. There are a lot of issues here that are unsettled:

1. Did the alleged perpetrator actually do anything. So far, all we know is that he's been charged. There are a zillion false abuse charges in divorce cases. Until he's been convicted, the court is unlikely to take away his parental rights.

2. The alleged victim is an adult. A person who would have sex with an adult (even his daughter) is not necessarily going to be a threat to children. Was the alleged victim even his daughter or was it a step-daughter? That makes a difference, too.

3. The court has a large number of options short of terminating his parental rights. They could, for example, insist that he have only supervised visitation. That would continue the child's relationship with her father without putting her in danger.

There are just too many issues here for anyone to rationally make a flat out statement that he's going to lose his parental rights.

Could he? Sure. But until the facts are completely known, no one can say that he will.

 

[LdiJ]

Yes, I'm not sure.

The courts go to great lengths to guarantee parental rights. There are a lot of issues here that are unsettled:

1. Did the alleged perpetrator actually do anything. So far, all we know is that he's been charged. There are a zillion false abuse charges in divorce cases. Until he's been convicted, the court is unlikely to take away his parental rights.

This apparently was not a divorce case until after he got charged with a serious crime. Therefore your logic is faulty.

2. The alleged victim is an adult. A person who would have sex with an adult (even his daughter) is not necessarily going to be a threat to children. Was the alleged victim even his daughter or was it a step-daughter? That makes a difference, too.

Again, very faulty logic and assuming all kinds of things not in evidence. You don't know that his victim was an adult. You only know that his victim is an adult now. Its possible that his daughter just came forward. However, even if his victim was an adult, she was his DAUGHTER. If she had been his stepdaughter, I am quite sure that the OP would have said so.

3. The court has a large number of options short of terminating his parental rights. They could, for example, insist that he have only supervised visitation. That would continue the child's relationship with her father without putting her in danger.

Yes, that could happen. However, if he is convicted, in this instance it would not be likely.

There are just too many issues here for anyone to rationally make a flat out statement that he's going to lose his parental rights.

Could he? Sure. But until the facts are completely known, no one can say that he will.

However, in your first post you were quite clear that you felt it was "not likely" that he could lose his parental rights. You even gave the standard "spiel" as to why he would not. You are backtracking now.

The bottom line is that if he is convicted of rape, incest, and sodomy in regards to his daughter, is quite LIKELY that his parental rights to any other children he has, will be terminated.