Husband refusing to settle divorce

[kg8168]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
Tennessee
My husband and I have been separated for 15 months. Just moved to TN from VA. For approx. 8 months we were doing visitation, he would do nothing but say horrible things about me to my two young boys- 7 & 3 yrs. old. Then he suddenly moved to another state (TN), dropped our health insurance and has not had any visitation with my boys since March of this year. He is refusing to pay child support and I am trying to find him and get the support from him. I want to get this divorce and move on with my life for my boys and myself, but my husband will not respond to anything from my attorney. I do not have the money to pay an attorney any more for a trial. Can I get a divorce without his agreement, as he is not paying child support or doing his court ordered visitation? He also won't give us an address of where he lives. He is hiding. Thank you for listening. I deperately need help with this situation.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
Tennessee
My husband and I have been separated for 15 months. Just moved to TN from VA. For approx. 8 months we were doing visitation, he would do nothing but say horrible things about me to my two young boys- 7 & 3 yrs. old. Then he suddenly moved to another state (TN), dropped our health insurance and has not had any visitation with my boys since March of this year. He is refusing to pay child support and I am trying to find him and get the support from him. I want to get this divorce and move on with my life for my boys and myself, but my husband will not respond to anything from my attorney. I do not have the money to pay an attorney any more for a trial. Can I get a divorce without his agreement, as he is not paying child support or doing his court ordered visitation? He also won't give us an address of where he lives. He is hiding. Thank you for listening. I deperately need help with this situation.

There are ways to get divorced, even if your stbx is hiding from you, but they do take an attorney, they aren't something that can be done on your own.

 

[kg8168]

Will it have to go to trial or are there ways to avoid that using an attorney?

 

[Farfalla]

If you are already separated, do you know why he is hiding? What is he avoiding? Having to pay child support? Having to split assets? It seems that he wants to be free of his family so why the hiding? Knowing that might answer what to do next.

Has he indicated the reasons?

In the mean time, if there is an order for child support and he is not paying you might be able to get the state involved in collecting it. They can find him based on his social security number.

 

[2Mistakes]

They can find him based on his social security number.

Not necessarily. Someone who does not want to be found won't be found. Period.

OP, are there any temporary orders for custody, visitation, and child support?

 

[kg8168]

he is avoiding responsibility....etc....

I know the city where he is, just have no address or employer for him. I do have a protective order against him. His wages were being garnished for child support and then he quit his job and won't disclose where he is. He is also required to provide health insurance for our children, but he is not doing that either. There is a custody order in place but he is violating it..... he was supposed to have visitation 3 weekends a month, but back in Feb and March he started canceling every weekend and now he has not seen my children since March. My attorney has sent several requests for a settlement re: our home, but his attorney never responds. I know he is being spiteful and refusing to settle/give me a divorce because he never wants me to be able to remarry and be happy. That is very typical of his past behavior. Surely, since he is in default on child support, health insurance and technically in contempt of court since he is not adhering to the custody agreement, I should be able to get a divorce without his cooperation. It just doesn't seem fair. Any feedback would be so appreciated.

 

[2Mistakes]

I know the city where he is, just have no address or employer for him. I do have a protective order against him. His wages were being garnished for child support and then he quit his job and won't disclose where he is. He is also required to provide health insurance for our children, but he is not doing that either. There is a custody order in place but he is violating it..... he was supposed to have visitation 3 weekends a month, but back in Feb and March he started canceling every weekend and now he has not seen my children since March. My attorney has sent several requests for a settlement re: our home, but his attorney never responds. I know he is being spiteful and refusing to settle/give me a divorce because he never wants me to be able to remarry and be happy. That is very typical of his past behavior. Surely, since he is in default on child support, health insurance and technically in contempt of court since he is not adhering to the custody agreement, I should be able to get a divorce without his cooperation. It just doesn't seem fair. Any feedback would be so appreciated.

If he is not exercising his visitaton with the kids, that doesn't mean he is "violating" the custody order. He just isn't exercising his rights. It's not contempt.

 

[kg8168]

I just need to know how I can get divorced without him signing

He has defaulted on child support and health insurance coverage for my children. He is ruining me financially by not paying on anything that has my name on it with him. He is running from it all and has nothing to lose. What can I do?

 

[LdiJ]

He has defaulted on child support and health insurance coverage for my children. He is ruining me financially by not paying on anything that has my name on it with him. He is running from it all and has nothing to lose. What can I do?

Again, you need an attorney. He can be served via publication if he cannot be found, but there are rules and proceedures that go along with that, and it takes an attorney to get it done and make it stick.

If his attorney won't respond, its probably because he is hiding from his attorney too, and not paying that bill.

 

[kg8168]

he won't respond to divorce filing

My husband and his attorney have not responded to 3 settlement offers. I know his attorney has said to my attorney in the past that my husband is not paying him. My husband wants a huge amount of money from the sale of our house, but he never contributed to the mortgage. His name is one of four names on the deed- mine, my mom and dad, and his name, but he is not on the mortgage. Also, I am sure he is not trying to settle out of spite so he can control me and not allow me to move on and ever get remarried, etc. My parents have already spent $15,000 in attorneys fees and I cant afford the money it would take to have a trial. As I mentioned before, he is not paying child support or providing health insurance as he is required to do, and he has not had any visitation with my children in 5 months. He just disappeared. Is there a way I can get a divorce without a trial as he will not cooperate in any way. Any help would be so appreciated.

 

[LdiJ]

My husband and his attorney have not responded to 3 settlement offers. I know his attorney has said to my attorney in the past that my husband is not paying him. My husband wants a huge amount of money from the sale of our house, but he never contributed to the mortgage. His name is one of four names on the deed- mine, my mom and dad, and his name, but he is not on the mortgage. Also, I am sure he is not trying to settle out of spite so he can control me and not allow me to move on and ever get remarried, etc. My parents have already spent $15,000 in attorneys fees and I cant afford the money it would take to have a trial. As I mentioned before, he is not paying child support or providing health insurance as he is required to do, and he has not had any visitation with my children in 5 months. He just disappeared. Is there a way I can get a divorce without a trial as he will not cooperate in any way. Any help would be so appreciated.

Since the house has 4 owners, the max that he would be entitled to would be 25% of the equity.

Please talk to your attorney about this. Yes, there are ways to get divorced without a full blown trial. You may have to go to court, but it won't be a full blow trial. Service by publication is one of those options if you truly cannot find him. However, you absolutely would need an attorney for that.

 

[NotClueless]

On a positive note, even if you have to go in front of a judge, your X wouldn't be there to run up the bill very much. Guess you should ask for sole physical/legal.