Husband says he'll run if I don't agree to his dissolusion demands.

[Daisy7359]

My husband and I want to get a dissolusion, in OH, but he is wanting everything his way. He insists that I change back to my maiden name, let him count our 14 yr. old daughter as a deduction on taxes every other year, even though we agree that she'll be living with me. We've been married 22 years, 11 of which he wouldn't allow me to work. He makes twice as much money as I do, but he says if I try to get any spousal support to get back on my feet, or argue with anything he wants, he'll quit his job and run, so I won't even get child support. But if I do everything his way, he'll stay and at least I'd be getting that much. I told him I'd agree to that if he'd cover my health insurance until our daughter turns 18, and he went nuts! He said it's illegal, and he wouldn't do it anyway. What are my options? I'd like to get this over with, since he's already living with his new girlfriend.

 

[dorenephilpot]

I can only tell you how things are in Indiana, but the laws are probably similar in your state.

First, he cannot FORCE you to take your maiden name back. In fact, most women who have children keep their husband's names because they want the same last name as the children. That's your call, not his.

Generally, the tax deduction goes to the parent who has custody of the child. You can AGREE to switch every other year, but a court would most likely give it to you, if you had a hearing.

Spousal support is tough to get unless you became disabled during the marriage or you have a long-standing marriage, you and he agreed that you would stay home to take care of the children and there is a big disparity in your education/income/earnings potential.

It's not illegal for him to pay for a health insurance policy for you. However, he will not be able to do it through his employer. He would have to purchase a private policy. Again, you two can agree to that, but my guess is that the court wouldn't order it.

What you might have a better chance at getting ordered is a life insurance policy on him such that if he dies the proceeds go to the child.....

As far as his threat to run, well, he might. But he probably won't. And if he does, chances are the authorities will catch up w/him, and he'll pay for it with his freedom. There are tons of mechanisms available to deal with deadbeats.

My guess is that he dominated you during the marriage and is still trying to do that.

I would suggest you get a lawyer. This sounds like it's going to be messy.....

 

[Grandma B]

What he wants and what he'll get aren't one and the same. He sounds like a real control freak. I hope you'll get yourself a competent family law attorney and fight him.

Your name is YOUR choice; not his.

He can be required to cover you under his employer's health insurance under provisions of COBRA which is a continuation of benefits. COBRA elilgibility lasts for something like 3 years. By the time you get through the court system, that coverage would take you very close to the time your child is 18. Be certain to ask initially that he be required to retain you on his coverage until the dissolution.

Courts often allow the NCP to claim children e/o year, but you have every right to ask for the exemption every year. It is more advantageous for you to have that. If he is allowed e/o year, you could still file as Head of Household, but you would lose the child tax credit for the years he claims the child. If he is granted the exemption e/o year, be sure to have a clause included that he can only use it IF all support payments are current.

Since you were married 20 years and he wouldn't allow you to work for 11 of them, you have a very good chance of being granted spousal support for a given number of years, especially since his earning capacity is much greater.

He can run, but he cannot hide. His SSN will follow him if he quits his job. He's going to have to work somewhere to support himself (and possibly his new gf). If he's used to living well, he's not going to be able to do that by working at some piddly under the table type employment, and he'll have to file tax returns.

Again, get a good family law attorney and don't allow him to dominate you any longer. I'd also petition for him to pay your attorney fees.