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Husband won't leave unless we buy a house for him to live in.

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woeismeat43

Guest
What is the name of your state? LA

I don't know what action is best for me to take. I've asked my husband for several years now for a separation, but he never leaves. We are friends, but have a problem that can't be fixed. When we got married, he moved into my mobile home that I have been paying on and we were going to save for a house. I don't want to leave my own home that I've purchased myself in my hungry years (when I was raising my child and not making much money at all). I'm not sure if we'll end up divorcing, but I don't want to live in a mobile home for the rest of my life. I can afford a modest home on my own, but would like all the help that I can get, which means I would like to maintain "first-time homebuyers status". He won't leave. He says that paying rent will be wasted money. Can he or I buy a home without the other's signature? Would I lose my status as first time homebuyer if he buys a house without me? If he doesn't pay his mortgage on time, will that affect my credit rating? Please help.
 


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woeismeat43

Guest
I know that someone has read my message. I'm looking for someone's best intellectual opinion at least, even if you aren't an attorney. My friends don't want to be burdened with my problems. I would like a little insight from someone who doesn't know me or my husband. Please, if you have something to contribute, write to me. I need a crumb.
 
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annefan1000

Guest
Is your ultimate goal to be divorced or simply separated?
 
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woeismeat43

Guest
Thank you for responding.

I really don't think I'll know that completely until we're living apart. I need to get away from the situation to fully evaluate the problem. I strongly suspect that we'll get divorced, however, so I think my worries are about my future. I can retire in 9 years and I wouldn't want to be in financial ruin before that. I'd hate to think I'd be in a situation where I had no choices.

He works out of home, so I never have the opportunity to change the locks or pack his things up for him. I'm trying to remain friends, but the time has come when I have to get serious about this. He knows I want a separation and he doesn't want it, so he ignores my feelings. I don't know why I want to spare his.
 
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annefan1000

Guest
I'd suggest you thoroughly contemplate your marriage and come to a decision regarding what direction it's going. This can be achieved by counseling. There are therapists in varying fields who would be capable of helping you assess your situation.

You are probably aware that divorce often has some type of financial consequences and always emotional ones.
 
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woeismeat43

Guest
You are absolutely right about it all. We have been to counseling a couple of times. I guess she wasn't the right one, though, because it didn't help much. I know I've learned a mighty big lesson in life. Marriage and divorce are serious business and no one should do either without thought.

Thanks for your help.
 
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velbing

Guest
husband won't leave

If you file for a separation, in most states, you will petition for temporary orders. You can petition the court to have him leave the promises. Also upon being served with the petition for legal separation, both of you are barred under penalty of law from entering into any contracts that are not necessary for day to day affairs.
 

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