I am lost

[iamtiredofcourt]

What is the name of your state? CA

okay I am so confused with my divorce right now. Here is what I need to know..please

I am not positive what a DOD is, and my ex's lawyer was supposed to have a settlement agreement to me 4 months ago. She promised the courts she would have it to me 2 weeks after her first court appearance in this case. She didn't get it to me, I gave her my address in court. 60 days later she wasted my time again and promised the court she would have it to me in 2 days. She didnt, and 60 days after that she didnt even show up and phoned in (wich made the judge mad) and then lied and said she was under the impression that my ex had served me with a DOD and that she had no way of contacting me. At the previous court the judge had me give her my address? And my ex has been in contact with me every week since the beginning by email and by phone.
We are in agreement on all matters except need to reach an agreement on the settlement agreement on all debts incurred during the marriage. I have asked numerous times to get all records on debts and have not recieved it. So I said I will pay once I can verify what I owe. The lawyer told me last time she would send me all that information along with the settlement agreement. She didn't this has been 4 months and she has done nothing.
What I do know is that she is trying to gather information about my child support payments, 700 month for 2 children (3 yrs, 1 yr) w/26% custody (wich I got screwed on) I was out of work for 2 months and my ex said it was okay to not pay to get back on my feet (I should have known better) now she is throwing that back in my face. She is gathering information about me not paying for our "colloected debts" wich I can't verify because they are being uncooperative. And my ex is not cooperating with my visitations, making it difficult to have them on my scheduled days and keeping a log of all the times I was either unable to pick them up or when she was unwilling to drop them off (but she is saying it is my responsibilty to pick up and drop off, when that was not stated in the custody agreement).
She is up to something but I don't know what, or what to do?!
I am thinking I get my phone records to show that she has always had contatc with me and her lawyer could have easily gotten that information from her (she never returned my calls)
I am trying to obtain the transcripts of when I gave her my address in court.
How do I deal with her lying saying she didn't know my ex didn't serve the DOD and that she couldn't contatct me and that she was told by my ex that I recieved all information on the debts?
I am very very very frustrated as my ex is threatening to get my visitations reduced from 26% to weekends only and that she is going to move out of town and take them. I think this is her ultimate goal, but short term I know she is trying to get as money out of me as possible as she has stated to me that she is going to make me broke.
Please help..

 

[Ohiogal]

State: CA

second question can I subpoena my ex's bank account records to see if she spends the child support on the children or herself? I know she does not spend $700 on my children
and she is trying to get more money for her mom watching them, supposedly paying her 700 a month, which I know is completely untrue.

This question is asked and answered 9500 times on here. NO. It does not matter how she spends the $700 unless a specific amount if allotted for say half of day care. Then if the cost of day care decreases you can petition to have that allotment decrease. The $700 is to cover the children's portion of rent, utilities, food, clothes, gasoline and transportation. If she spends more thna $700 on that then guess what -- she is using child support for its intended purpose.

And should I subpoena the credit card statements so I can finally see what was charged to those accounts? I was removed from them and cannot get statements.

You can ask for statements on bills you are supposed to pay but you cannot nickle and dime those either.

 

[iamtiredofcourt]

This question is asked and answered 9500 times on here. NO. It does not matter how she spends the $700 unless a specific amount if allotted for say half of day care. Then if the cost of day care decreases you can petition to have that allotment decrease. The $700 is to cover the children's portion of rent, utilities, food, clothes, gasoline and transportation. If she spends more thna $700 on that then guess what -- she is using child support for its intended purpose.


You can ask for statements on bills you are supposed to pay but you cannot nickle and dime those either.

Well, I am sure she does not buy the children 700 dollars worht of clothes, her mom buys food, and she nver picks them up or drops them off. If there is nothing I can do about that, that is fine, I was only asking a question. Thank you for your response.
And on the bills, she already had debt when we married and they were active after we seperated, I wasn't trying to nickel and dime her, I was trying to see what is my portion of the debt since her lawyer has not served me with the settlement agreement and the original court documents only state 50% of all debt incurred during marriage.
She threatens to move out of state, out of country, and I beleive she will try. I am a great dad and love my children, but she is making everything as difficult as possible. By the way, she was the one who told me daily she wanted a divorce for 2 months daily.
I only say this for anyone who may have a pre-conceived notion of the type of person I am.
Thank you for your response. Do you have any suggestions to my first post? thanks again.

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state? CA

okay I am so confused with my divorce right now. Here is what I need to know..please

Do YOU have an attorney?

I am not positive what a DOD is, and my ex's lawyer was supposed to have a settlement agreement to me 4 months ago. She promised the courts she would have it to me 2 weeks after her first court appearance in this case. She didn't get it to me, I gave her my address in court. 60 days later she wasted my time again and promised the court she would have it to me in 2 days. She didnt, and 60 days after that she didnt even show up and phoned in (wich made the judge mad) and then lied and said she was under the impression that my ex had served me with a DOD and that she had no way of contacting me. At the previous court the judge had me give her my address? And my ex has been in contact with me every week since the beginning by email and by phone.

If she stated in court that she would get it to you then file a motion to compel.

We are in agreement on all matters except need to reach an agreement on the settlement agreement on all debts incurred during the marriage. I have asked numerous times to get all records on debts and have not recieved it. So I said I will pay once I can verify what I owe. The lawyer told me last time she would send me all that information along with the settlement agreement. She didn't this has been 4 months and she has done nothing.

File a motion to compel.

What I do know is that she is trying to gather information about my child support payments, 700 month for 2 children (3 yrs, 1 yr) w/26% custody (wich I got screwed on) I was out of work for 2 months and my ex said it was okay to not pay to get back on my feet (I should have known better) now she is throwing that back in my face.

You can't just go against a court order. 700 month is NOT a lot. It is calculated by a worksheet. Do a search for a California child support calculator and input the numbers.

She is gathering information about me not paying for our "colloected debts" wich I can't verify because they are being uncooperative.

File a motion to compel. Have you read the local rules of what they MUST provide to you?

And my ex is not cooperating with my visitations, making it difficult to have them on my scheduled days and keeping a log of all the times I was either unable to pick them up or when she was unwilling to drop them off (but she is saying it is my responsibilty to pick up and drop off, when that was not stated in the custody agreement).

File a motion to show cause if she is not allowing you to pick them up when you get them or is going against the court-ordered custody agreement.

She is up to something but I don't know what, or what to do?!
I am thinking I get my phone records to show that she has always had contatc with me and her lawyer could have easily gotten that information from her (she never returned my calls)
I am trying to obtain the transcripts of when I gave her my address in court.

Why? File a motion to compel with an affidavit.

How do I deal with her lying saying she didn't know my ex didn't serve the DOD and that she couldn't contatct me and that she was told by my ex that I recieved all information on the debts?

You file a motion to compel. She has your address then on the court documents in the caption.

I am very very very frustrated as my ex is threatening to get my visitations reduced from 26% to weekends only and that she is going to move out of town and take them.

Have you read the statutes? If so then you are aware of the relocation requirements?

I think this is her ultimate goal, but short term I know she is trying to get as money out of me as possible as she has stated to me that she is going to make me broke.
Please help..

See above.

 

[iamtiredofcourt]

thank you, that makes sense, if I can't get them to cooperate then have the courts compel them. lol

 

[LdiJ]

I will add something else that wasn't covered. If your court orders are silent on the issue of who provides transportion for your visitation, then that means YOU are the one who is supposed to be providing the transportion.