I am sick of it

[tiredmother]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? TX. I filed for a divorce back in May the same day I found out about the affair that my husband of 3 yrs was having with a much older co-worker. Well he would show up once in a blue moon to see our daughter and just argue with me. I can not figure out what I did wrong in my marriage to make him want to go out and seek more than just this one woman. He never gave me money for our daughter so I kept receipts of all the bills that I was paying to the home that we had both lived in ( but my parents bought). The situation with the home is that my parents gave us the home and now he wants full control of the home after he left for more than 3 months. I was given a truck by my father when I sold my car and the title is only under my name and I have a receipt to show my dad paid the truck in full. He wants the truck also. He has only started paying child support early September and he wants to be pardoned from paying any back child support. I was given the ok to come up to IL to live ( I still don't know the full details of it since my lawyer screwed me over on that too) Well when he found out that I left TX he filed a contempt order against me. He tried selling the trailor since he took the title when he broke into my home. He is willing to drop the contempt order against me if i sign the agreement to pay the transfer of the truck back to TX (wheich is going to cost me alot of money that i do not have), pardon the back child support, allow the visitations ordered by the state of TX, allow the one-hour phone calls every sunday, and give him the trailor. So i lose the only transportation I have and my home back in TX if I were to ever go back. My attorney is telling me just sign the agreement. This is just not fair. He is the one that had the affair and when I showed his lawyer and him the pictures I had of them together to show that he committed adultery they laughed in my face and denied that it was him. Why should I have to pay for his mistakes? I'm the one who had to completely change my life from being a stay at home mom to a working single mother while he's out there screwing around and bragging about it. I am sick of it and need some kind of advice. Please Help!

 

[ariastar]

Get an new attorney. NOW. At the least get a consultation with another attorney. I do not believe YOU can pardon back child support (in fact, the Bradley Amendment might prohibit the court from doing so as well, though I'm a bit rusty on it), and if your attorney is telling you to sign and pardon it, well, I question your attorney.

The truck was a gift to you. It's yours. If the house is in both of your names, then it was a gift to both of you. If it's in your name and he made any payments on it, he may have some claim to it, even if it was a gift to you. You may not have had the legal right to move the children out of state. If your attorney screwed up, you're still the one on the hook. Lodge a complaint with the state bar. That he had an affair holds little to no weight.

From what I read (and I don't have all the details or any paperwork in front of me), I personally wouldn't sign, though I also wouldn't have removed the child from the state. Still, if I had removed her, I wouldn't sign. I'd wait for it to go to court. You're not risking jail time by waiting for a judge to decide. Until it's in writing and signed by a judge, there's not much to go on. Get your butt back to Texas IMMEDIATELY and STAY THERE until a judge gives consent to leave the state, which might not happen.

Cheater or not, Dad has the right to the child just as much as you do.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? TX. I filed for a divorce back in May the same day I found out about the affair that my husband of 3 yrs was having with a much older co-worker. Well he would show up once in a blue moon to see our daughter and just argue with me. I can not figure out what I did wrong in my marriage to make him want to go out and seek more than just this one woman. He never gave me money for our daughter so I kept receipts of all the bills that I was paying to the home that we had both lived in ( but my parents bought). The situation with the home is that my parents gave us the home and now he wants full control of the home after he left for more than 3 months. I was given a truck by my father when I sold my car and the title is only under my name and I have a receipt to show my dad paid the truck in full. He wants the truck also. He has only started paying child support early September and he wants to be pardoned from paying any back child support. I was given the ok to come up to IL to live ( I still don't know the full details of it since my lawyer screwed me over on that too) Well when he found out that I left TX he filed a contempt order against me. He tried selling the trailor since he took the title when he broke into my home. He is willing to drop the contempt order against me if i sign the agreement to pay the transfer of the truck back to TX (wheich is going to cost me alot of money that i do not have), pardon the back child support, allow the visitations ordered by the state of TX, allow the one-hour phone calls every sunday, and give him the trailor. So i lose the only transportation I have and my home back in TX if I were to ever go back. My attorney is telling me just sign the agreement. This is just not fair. He is the one that had the affair and when I showed his lawyer and him the pictures I had of them together to show that he committed adultery they laughed in my face and denied that it was him. Why should I have to pay for his mistakes? I'm the one who had to completely change my life from being a stay at home mom to a working single mother while he's out there screwing around and bragging about it. I am sick of it and need some kind of advice. Please Help!

You have two choices. Sign the agreement and get to stay in IL. Or not sign the agreement and take the risk of having to move back to TX with the children.

Now, you can still negotiate with him as well. Does he have any other means of transportation, or was the truck your only vehicle?

You stated that you had permission to move to IL. Whose permission did you have? If you had permission from the court, then dad doesn't have a leg to stand on as far as making you bring the children back to TX. However, if you did not, and you want to stay in IL, then you may have to sign the agreement.

 

[tiredmother]

This is the situation that I find myself in is that if I don't sign he is going to go through with the contempt of court. I have actually been living in IL for 3 months now. If he goes through with the contempt of court what could happen to me? Now, what if I withdraw from the case and start all over here with another attorney. Pretty much going back to TX is completely out of the question. I have no interest in keeping the home he can have it. The only thing is that I want to keep the truck since it is my only transportation and he has no transportation but how is that my problem. Now I know that he has rights to see his daughter but as a mother it is my job to protect her from anything. This woman that he is involved with is not a good person. I am not trying to come off as a bitter ex-wife it's just that when you know that she lost custody of her own child for child abuse you don't want to have her around your own child. Now do I trust him to protect her? No at this point how can I if he believes that a person like her is capable of being around my child and that she can do no wrong to a child. Then why did she lose her own kid? I feel that my daughter is mine only because it has only been me and her since he left. He would come around and ignore her when she would cry for him. I have to protect her from everything and even if it means her own father then I will. I just need to know what this whole contempt of court means and if he can actually put me in jail when I am already a resident of IL?

 

[majomom1]

This is the situation that I find myself in is that if I don't sign he is going to go through with the contempt of court. I have actually been living in IL for 3 months now. If he goes through with the contempt of court what could happen to me? Now, what if I withdraw from the case and start all over here with another attorney. Pretty much going back to TX is completely out of the question. I have no interest in keeping the home he can have it. The only thing is that I want to keep the truck since it is my only transportation and he has no transportation but how is that my problem. Now I know that he has rights to see his daughter but as a mother it is my job to protect her from anything. This woman that he is involved with is not a good person. I am not trying to come off as a bitter ex-wife it's just that when you know that she lost custody of her own child for child abuse you don't want to have her around your own child. Now do I trust him to protect her? No at this point how can I if he believes that a person like her is capable of being around my child and that she can do no wrong to a child. Then why did she lose her own kid? I feel that my daughter is mine only because it has only been me and her since he left. He would come around and ignore her when she would cry for him. I have to protect her from everything and even if it means her own father then I will. I just need to know what this whole contempt of court means and if he can actually put me in jail when I am already a resident of IL?

Answer the question that Ld asked... Whose permission did you have to move? That will be a huge factor in whether or not the judge finds you in contempt. You will not go to jail, but you may have to return your daughter to TX. If you cannot move back, then they could place her in Dad's custody while you stay in IL.

Do you have any proof of this other woman's child abuse. You may be able to get a "no contact" with her in the order... but that will be tough to do and you will need solid proof that she is a danger to your child.

 

[tiredmother]

I had the permission from the judge when I went to my lawyer and told her that I was leaving TX and she said ok let me get the papers you need and have them signed by the judge. So she handed me these papers that said "temporary orders" and I came down and she called me and said that she was going to make it look like I was just visiting. But when I arrived to IL this new attorney that I spoke to asked me to point out in the papers where it said that I could come to IL. Well I couldn't because there was not anything in the papers that said that I could leave. All it said was that I had full rights to the property until it was taken care of in court and that I had custody of our daughter. The papers were signed by the judge. But now he filed the contempt charges and the only way he will drop it is if I pretty much give him the truck and pay for the transfer. So it pretty much looks like I have to give the truck up. The only way I found out about his girlfriends child abuse case is because I spoke to her ex-husband who has full custody of their son. This is a really small town in TX and everyone knows everyone and no one can say anything good about this woman. I know I should have read these papers and made sure it said that I could leave but I didn't and now I am in this big mess. So technically I did not have permission now that I put it out. I have a sucky lawyer who is no help and I need help.

 

[mistoffolees]

I had the permission from the judge when I went to my lawyer and told her that I was leaving TX and she said ok let me get the papers you need and have them signed by the judge. So she handed me these papers that said "temporary orders" and I came down and she called me and said that she was going to make it look like I was just visiting. But when I arrived to IL this new attorney that I spoke to asked me to point out in the papers where it said that I could come to IL. Well I couldn't because there was not anything in the papers that said that I could leave. All it said was that I had full rights to the property until it was taken care of in court and that I had custody of our daughter. The papers were signed by the judge. But now he filed the contempt charges and the only way he will drop it is if I pretty much give him the truck and pay for the transfer. So it pretty much looks like I have to give the truck up. The only way I found out about his girlfriends child abuse case is because I spoke to her ex-husband who has full custody of their son. This is a really small town in TX and everyone knows everyone and no one can say anything good about this woman. I know I should have read these papers and made sure it said that I could leave but I didn't and now I am in this big mess. So technically I did not have permission now that I put it out. I have a sucky lawyer who is no help and I need help.

The papers you have from the court did not give you permission to move. In many cases, defaul temporary judicial orders specifically state that you CAN'T move (so read your papers carefully). In any event, you're at serious risk for contempt (which could cause you to lose your kids.

So which means more to you-the truck or the kids? You're actually getting off easy if you're allowed to stay in IL by giving up the truck.

 

[Ohiogal]

I had the permission from the judge when I went to my lawyer and told her that I was leaving TX and she said ok let me get the papers you need and have them signed by the judge. So she handed me these papers that said "temporary orders" and I came down and she called me and said that she was going to make it look like I was just visiting. But when I arrived to IL this new attorney that I spoke to asked me to point out in the papers where it said that I could come to IL. Well I couldn't because there was not anything in the papers that said that I could leave. All it said was that I had full rights to the property until it was taken care of in court and that I had custody of our daughter. The papers were signed by the judge. But now he filed the contempt charges and the only way he will drop it is if I pretty much give him the truck and pay for the transfer. So it pretty much looks like I have to give the truck up. The only way I found out about his girlfriends child abuse case is because I spoke to her ex-husband who has full custody of their son. This is a really small town in TX and everyone knows everyone and no one can say anything good about this woman. I know I should have read these papers and made sure it said that I could leave but I didn't and now I am in this big mess. So technically I did not have permission now that I put it out. I have a sucky lawyer who is no help and I need help.

So your attorney violated the law and ethics by lying to the court and YOU KNEW ABOUT IT. Nice. You have full rights tothe property and custody of the child but NOT permission to MOVE to IL. And gossip really doesn't matter. At all. Got it? You made this mess. Now you have to be a grown up. Sign over the house -- you don't want it anyway -- but make sure you are off the mortgage first. Give him the truck. You stay in IL with the child.

Oh and how did you acquire the pics? Because quite frankly you can face problems for that.