I don't understand - deposition

[tuffbrk]

What is the name of your state? NJ

A little confused. I've been advised by my attn'y that I was served for deposition on Monday, 8/6.

He told me to expect to be asked ?'s regarding STBX's medical condition and my income, salary, how I spend money, etc.

My STBX's attn'y is quite rude, arrogant & nasty and I'm totally intimidated by his correspondence, never mind his person! My heart races just thinking I will need to be face to face with such a charmer.

I asked if I had the right to decline to answer any of the ?'s that I may be asked if I felt they were inappropriate. He told me - only those items that would be protected by attn'y client priviledge. I have to answer everything else.

1) Is it true that I actually have to answer EVERY and ANY ? that I am asked? Why can't I decline if I so desire?
2) What is covered by attn'y client priviledge?



Thank you for any insight.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? NJ

A little confused. I've been advised by my attn'y that I was served for deposition on Monday, 8/6.

He told me to expect to be asked ?'s regarding STBX's medical condition and my income, salary, how I spend money, etc.

My STBX's attn'y is quite rude, arrogant & nasty and I'm totally intimidated by his correspondence, never mind his person! My heart races just thinking I will need to be face to face with such a charmer.

I asked if I had the right to decline to answer any of the ?'s that I may be asked if I felt they were inappropriate. He told me - only those items that would be protected by attn'y client priviledge. I have to answer everything else.

1) Is it true that I actually have to answer EVERY and ANY ? that I am asked? Why can't I decline if I so desire?
2) What is covered by attn'y client priviledge?



Thank you for any insight.

Your attorney will be present with you for the deposition. He/she will prevent the other attorney from getting too nasty....and will object to any question that is totally out of line.

 

[tuffbrk]

Geez - he might've mentioned that. I always seem to get these quickie "go away" type of responses from him.

I was worried that with all of the STBX's ridiculous stories that change daily that his attn'y would be asking ?'s that weren't mired in reality and combined with how aggressive he is...I just didn't want to wind up losing it!

Thanks so much LdiJ!

 

[Zephyr]

Geez - he might've mentioned that. I always seem to get these quickie "go away" type of responses from him.

I was worried that with all of the STBX's ridiculous stories that change daily that his attn'y would be asking ?'s that weren't mired in reality and combined with how aggressive he is...I just didn't want to wind up losing it!

Thanks so much LdiJ!

and take your time and think clearly about your answers before giving them, if the jerk needs to wait a minute while you collect your thoughts then so be it, try not to get emotional, answer honestly- (remember what you say in your deposition and what you say on the stand will be compared and if possible used to damage your credibility- better to be honest about something less than ideal than to be caught in a lie and have your credibility totally damaged)

 

[tuffbrk]

Absolutely have no intention of misrepresenting anything. It would be too hard to remember!

I'm sure that the attn'y will want to focus on my personal life as opposed to my career!

I've done a few things I'm not proud of in the early days of filing back in 2005.. but I'm not perfect and don't pretend to be. Nothing that was done in our home, or involved/impacted my kids that's for sure!

And there's no BF's, no drugs...although I do stop in a pub once a week for ****tails and darts. I also enjoy dancing at a place the next town over that has live entertainment when my 14 yr old is otherwise occupied - generally once, sometimes 2 times a month. Go alone, leave alone!

Other than that, it's work, food shop, taxi my son and buddies around, cook, clean, water, weed, vacuum....LOL. Typical life stuff

 

[tuffbrk]

Absolutely have no intention of misrepresenting anything. It would be too hard to remember!

I'm sure that the attn'y will want to focus on my personal life as opposed to my career!

I've done a few things I'm not proud of in the early days of filing back in 2005.. but I'm not perfect and don't pretend to be. Nothing that was done in our home, or involved/impacted my kids that's for sure!

And there's no BF's, no drugs...although I do stop in a pub once a week. I also enjoy dancing at a place the next town over that has live entertainment when my 14 yr old is otherwise occupied - generally once, sometimes 2 times a month. Go alone, leave alone!

Other than that, it's work, food shop, taxi my son and buddies around, cook, clean, water, weed, vacuum....LOL. Typical life stuff

 

[Zigner]

Geez - he might've mentioned that. I always seem to get these quickie "go away" type of responses from him.

You can't expect anything less. This is NOT your attorney. He is not your friend and you are not his client. He is not paid to be polite to you. He is paid to get the best deal (so to speak) for HIS client, not you.
Do NOT rely on the STBX's attorney for anything helpful, ever.

 

[Golfball]

You can't expect anything less. This is NOT your attorney. He is not your friend and you are not his client. He is not paid to be polite to you. He is paid to get the best deal (so to speak) for HIS client, not you.
Do NOT rely on the STBX's attorney for anything helpful, ever.

I think the poster was referring to her own attorney, not STBX's attorney.

 

[Ohiogal]

Your attorney will be present with you for the deposition. He/she will prevent the other attorney from getting too nasty....and will object to any question that is totally out of line.

He or she will object and then the client STILL must answer the question unless it is protected as she was told. Any question that is asked strictly for harrassment purposes does not have to be answered HOWEVER that requires a judgment from the magistrate/presiding judicial authority. which means calling them on the phone as they are not at the deposition normally.

 

[tuffbrk]

so my attn'y (wouldn't dream of asking his attn'y anything!!) was right. A bit intimidating. Seems invasive but I guess when 2 adults can't come to terms...Thanks for clearing that up OhioGal -

OG - what subjects be considered client attrn'y priviledge in a divorce?

 

[Ohiogal]

so my attn'y (wouldn't dream of asking his attn'y anything!!) was right. A bit intimidating. Seems invasive but I guess when 2 adults can't come to terms...Thanks for clearing that up OhioGal -

OG - what subjects be considered client attrn'y priviledge in a divorce?

Any advice that your attorney has given you or any analysis your attorney has given you regarding your case (whta the likely outcome would be and so on and so forth).

 

[tuffbrk]

Hmm...I guess that's nothing then. I keep asking what is the strategy but don't receive real responses. He usually winds up saying stuff like "the adversary is looking for X,Y,Z and I'm thinking we should A,B,C so let me know your thoughts on that." I swear, you'd think I had legal background or something. Okaaay then!

Thanks for your time OG!

 

[CJane]

Heh. My ex's attorney was asking questions like "How often did you and X have sex during the marriage?" "How often have you had sex since he filed for divorce?" "Do you enjoy bondage?"

And when I was on the stand... "When, exactly, did you decide to become a lesbian?" Nevermind that this latest was 3 months after I'd given BIRTH.

I had to answer EVERY. QUESTION.

 

[LdiJ]

Heh. My ex's attorney was asking questions like "How often did you and X have sex during the marriage?" "How often have you had sex since he filed for divorce?" "Do you enjoy bondage?"

And when I was on the stand... "When, exactly, did you decide to become a lesbian?" Nevermind that this latest was 3 months after I'd given BIRTH.

I had to answer EVERY. QUESTION.

GAWD!...is everybody a freaking psycho in your area....or just your ex, his wife and his attorney..

 

[LdiJ]

He or she will object and then the client STILL must answer the question unless it is protected as she was told. Any question that is asked strictly for harrassment purposes does not have to be answered HOWEVER that requires a judgment from the magistrate/presiding judicial authority. which means calling them on the phone as they are not at the deposition normally.

I realize that, but sometimes the other attorney will back off of the question if its truly out of line, once the attorney for the person being deposed, objects. I have even seen an attorney stop a deposition entirely when the questioning attorney is totally out of line.