I got tricked into a fake marriage

[edwardw818]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

First of all, I would appreciate you keeping accusatory/trolling/flaming comments to yourself, I'm already in a bad enough predicament as it is, especially since I am still grieving my cruelly-removed unborn son and trying my damndest not to cry or punch a hole through the wall, and also doing my best to control myself.

This is my back story; I don't know how relevant it is, but I hope this not only explains my plight, proves my innocence and helps with a defense strategy, but also I know it's a bit of a read and I'm not that good at cutting stories short (and again, I'm under grief so I may ramble), so my apologies.

So, I've made the mistake of befriending a broad that came to the states to get her Bachelor's + Masters for 3 years, but we somehow evolved into a romantic relationship last year, dated for 8 months, and I married her in October last year. Things were going well; her mom even flew in for a month to give her blessings, and of course since I loved my "wife" and she loved me (or so it seemed), I had no qualms with petitioning for her green card.

Then end of February/beginning of this month, lots of things happened at once: I got laid off and my car was showing its age, so her affluent mom offered a huge lump sum to help out. I repaired the quirks my car had, settled some debts in collections (a credit card got charged off while waiting for Worker's Comp almost a year ago), and even bought a laptop since I was trying to get back into IT Consulting (I've been using my iPad and it's still no computer). Luck would have it that we passed the immigration interview last Wednesday, I passed a job interview last Friday and start work at a new job this past Monday.

However, I wish I can make this up: I pull into the driveway 2 nights ago, and the door was unlocked and the house was half empty. I got a panic attack thinking the worst and fainted; a guy walking his dog saw me collapsed on the front porch and even called the paramedics. As I came to, my neighbor who telecommutes saw her and some dudes hurriedly shove stuff into a U-Haul an hour after I left for work. Since for whatever reason she didn't want to talk in person or at least call me, I'm glad she was dumb enough to insist on talking to me by typed messages in WeChat (a messenger popular with Chinese people).

Her lousy excuses don't add up to this day (even though I've long since recovered from the concussion I suffered that day and re-read it last night), but long story short: She originally intended for this to strictly be a business transaction but we both fell for each other ("but oh well" she says), but since she had regrets conceiving our child (REST IN PEACE SAMUEL, FREDERIC W_______ [sorry, not revealing my last name online]) and stopped having feelings for me even back in February, she wanted to split up (but she at least could've discussed this with me instead of pretending everything is OK), but also that stipend her mom gave me was intended to be "hush money" to not divorce her until she gets her permanent green card, and actually finally called me to blackmail me with the stuff she was going to do if I didn't.

Worst of all? She sends me a pic of her outpatient papers for Planned Parenthood, telling me that she "didn't want Sammy to interfere with business", SO MY SON DIES AT THE HAND OF A CRAZY B**** JUST LIKE THAT, even though conceiving Sammy was her idea (when I wanted to wait a year until my finances come back around), and the crib and mattress I ordered even had one of those "missed your chance to sign for it" stickers on the door (forgot what it's called) that day... Even the poor FedEx CSR was crying and praying for me when I called to cancel my package (thanks, Lily from Pittsburgh, but I think we'd both not be hysterical if you didn't ask me how my day was ).

Since I try to be an honorable person and I am actually losing weight to join the USAF (ergo not only working for the government but I also love my country enough to not betray it), the only laws I've broken are from driving with a lead foot, and had I known that this was a business-only marriage I would've NEVER married this broad, even if she tried to legitimize it by conceiving a baby. However, she's not getting away with it that easy; I'm turning her in on Monday.

With the preceding in mind (if you read it):
* Since I was VERY upset that she aborted my son without so much as a heads-up, I got into an angry tirade and made some threats without thinking. If I presented the text exchange in court when I'm annulling her, I know that verbally you can plead the 5th, but can I blur out some of the things I said to avoid incriminating myself?
* Since I spent almost all the money save for a thousand I put towards my rainy-day fund/savings account and only have that small percentage laying around, am I obligated to pay it back to her or surrender the funds to the government? Since I'm the victim here, I don't see why I should.
* Are the fees associated with annulment able to be waived considering my circumstances (or at the very least waived since I am on bereavement leave and don't have much money on me)?

Thanks in advance for your responses.

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

First of all, I would appreciate you keeping accusatory/trolling/flaming comments to yourself, I'm already in a bad enough predicament as it is, especially since I am still grieving my cruelly-removed unborn son and trying my damndest not to cry or punch a hole through the wall, and also doing my best to control myself.



With the preceding in mind (if you read it):
* Since I was VERY upset that she aborted my son without so much as a heads-up, I got into an angry tirade and made some threats without thinking. If I presented the text exchange in court when I'm annulling her, I know that verbally you can plead the 5th, but can I blur out some of the things I said to avoid incriminating myself?
* Since I spent almost all the money save for a thousand I put towards my rainy-day fund/savings account and only have that small percentage laying around, am I obligated to pay it back to her or surrender the funds to the government? Since I'm the victim here, I don't see why I should.
* Are the fees associated with annulment able to be waived considering my circumstances (or at the very least waived since I am on bereavement leave and don't have much money on me)?

Thanks in advance for your responses.

You should speak with an attorney. We cannot provide the help you need.

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

First of all, I would appreciate you keeping accusatory/trolling/flaming comments to yourself, I'm already in a bad enough predicament as it is, especially since I am still grieving my cruelly-removed unborn son and trying my damndest not to cry or punch a hole through the wall, and also doing my best to control myself.



With the preceding in mind (if you read it):
* Since I was VERY upset that she aborted my son without so much as a heads-up, I got into an angry tirade and made some threats without thinking. If I presented the text exchange in court when I'm annulling her, I know that verbally you can plead the 5th, but can I blur out some of the things I said to avoid incriminating myself?
* Since I spent almost all the money save for a thousand I put towards my rainy-day fund/savings account and only have that small percentage laying around, am I obligated to pay it back to her or surrender the funds to the government? Since I'm the victim here, I don't see why I should.
* Are the fees associated with annulment able to be waived considering my circumstances (or at the very least waived since I am on bereavement leave and don't have much money on me)?

Thanks in advance for your responses.

How do you know this was a "son"?

 

[Silverplum]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

First of all, I would appreciate you keeping accusatory/trolling/flaming comments to yourself, I'm already in a bad enough predicament as it is, especially since I am still grieving my cruelly-removed unborn son and trying my damndest not to cry or punch a hole through the wall, and also doing my best to control myself.



With the preceding in mind (if you read it):
* Since I was VERY upset that she aborted my son without so much as a heads-up, I got into an angry tirade and made some threats without thinking. If I presented the text exchange in court when I'm annulling her, I know that verbally you can plead the 5th, but can I blur out some of the things I said to avoid incriminating myself?
* Since I spent almost all the money save for a thousand I put towards my rainy-day fund/savings account and only have that small percentage laying around, am I obligated to pay it back to her or surrender the funds to the government? Since I'm the victim here, I don't see why I should.
* Are the fees associated with annulment able to be waived considering my circumstances (or at the very least waived since I am on bereavement leave and don't have much money on me)?

Thanks in advance for your responses.

1. No. You don't get to pick 'n' choose.
2. What money? The cash her mother lent to you?
3. Courts always have fee waivers. Look into it.

But know this: ONLY SHE had the choice to continue her pregnancy or not.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

Aside from calling Immigration and reporting the issue to have her Green Card removed for fraud. I do not foresee you obtaining an annulment, you will need to divorce her.

 

[shuckybucky]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

First of all, I would appreciate you keeping accusatory/trolling/flaming comments to yourself, I'm already in a bad enough predicament as it is, especially since I am still grieving my cruelly-removed unborn son and trying my damndest not to cry or punch a hole through the wall, and also doing my best to control myself.



With the preceding in mind (if you read it):
* Since I was VERY upset that she aborted my son without so much as a heads-up, I got into an angry tirade and made some threats without thinking. If I presented the text exchange in court when I'm annulling her, I know that verbally you can plead the 5th, but can I blur out some of the things I said to avoid incriminating myself?
* Since I spent almost all the money save for a thousand I put towards my rainy-day fund/savings account and only have that small percentage laying around, am I obligated to pay it back to her or surrender the funds to the government? Since I'm the victim here, I don't see why I should.
* Are the fees associated with annulment able to be waived considering my circumstances (or at the very least waived since I am on bereavement leave and don't have much money on me)?

Thanks in advance for your responses.

Generally (with a few exceptions) when you submit documentation to the courts the record in its entirety is available.
A lot of courts/counties have some indigent programs or waive fees. It never hurts to ask.
I'm sorry about your child.

 

[Just Blue]

Generally (with a few exceptions) when you submit documentation to the courts the record in its entirety is available.
A lot of courts/counties have some indigent programs or waive fees. It never hurts to ask.
I'm sorry about your child.

Please post the statute for OP's state to back up your assertion. Thank You.

Heck...Even try Federal Law...

 

[edwardw818]

You should speak with an attorney. We cannot provide the help you need.

I guess so... I'm not exactly in a position to afford paying a consultation fee.

How do you know this was a "son"?

She kept referring to our unborn child as "he" and other male pronouns, and when I asked if the child was a boy she said yes... I didn't ask her how she knew (biopsy, I suppose?)

1. No. You don't get to pick 'n' choose.
2. What money? The cash her mother lent to you?
3. Courts always have fee waivers. Look into it.

But know this: ONLY SHE had the choice to continue her pregnancy or not.

1. OK thanks, I suppose.
2. Yes, that amount.
3. Yeah, I later found another website that the court does offer fee waivers, but when I began my search on Google it was inconclusive.

I know that it's her body, but still... If she had no plans to continue the marriage and/or had no plan to have the child, at least give me a heads up! If she wanted to break up or divorce, I'll be willing to work with her since I don't want to be with someone unhappy "'til death to us part" either. If she discussed abortion before I grew attached to the idea of having a kid, worked extra hard for my future child and even picked out a name, I'd take it a lot easier than "oh, I suddenly decided to turn this into a business overnight and vacuumed Sammy (or judging by Blue Meanie's comment, the possibility of being Heather) out of my uterus. DEAL WITH IT!"

Aside from calling Immigration and reporting the issue to have her Green Card removed for fraud. I do not foresee you obtaining an annulment, you will need to divorce her.

How so? There is a clause in the form needed to file for divorce that does say I can annul the marriage if it's fraudulent.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

If you can prove the fraud, you can obtain an annulment. All you have provided is your account, hers and her mothers. At best you have a neighbor saying she packed up and left. Unless you plan on waiting for an official determination of fraud to obtain a green card, you have no evidence to claim an annulment. her version will likely be spousal abuse with mom backing her up.

http://www.courts.ca.gov/1037.htm#legal

 

[Proserpina]

Edward - seriously, you NEED AN ATTORNEY.

Why?

Here's just ONE reason.

Despite what Trump and ORW would prefer to be their reality, it is STILL very difficult to prove marital fraud to the satisfaction of USCIS. You better have some damn good proof if that's the route you want to go, because I guarantee you she's saved up all of those threats to use against you ... and you know what that means? That means she gets a VAWA visa and if you've sponsored her residency you're on the hook to support HER. Think about it. Women who want to tie down a man for the sake of ... well, whatever ... don't typically have abortions as the first order of business Monday morning.

She is going to claim that you abused her, and threatened to turn her in to immigration even though she married you solely out of deep love and affection for you just to hurt her.

Attorney. ASAP.

Because if she is as savvy as you're making her out to be, you're not going to be painted as the victim here - SHE is.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

I suggest you read again where I said he would not qualify for annulment.

 

[edwardw818]

If you can prove the fraud, you can obtain an annulment. All you have provided is your account, hers and her mothers. At best you have a neighbor saying she packed up and left. Unless you plan on waiting for an official determination of fraud to obtain a green card, you have no evidence to claim an annulment. her version will likely be spousal abuse with mom backing her up.

http://www.courts.ca.gov/1037.htm#legal

Well, she's been back in China since Feb 23, and since I booked the flights, Expedia still has an itinerary with her name on it. It's not something her mom can personally witness, but I get your point.

Edward - seriously, you NEED AN ATTORNEY.

Why?

Here's just ONE reason.

Despite what Trump and ORW would prefer to be their reality, it is STILL very difficult to prove marital fraud to the satisfaction of USCIS. You better have some damn good proof if that's the route you want to go, because I guarantee you she's saved up all of those threats to use against you ... and you know what that means? That means she gets a VAWA visa and if you've sponsored her residency you're on the hook to support HER. Think about it. Women who want to tie down a man for the sake of ... well, whatever ... don't typically have abortions as the first order of business Monday morning.

She is going to claim that you abused her, and threatened to turn her in to immigration even though she married you solely out of deep love and affection for you just to hurt her.

Attorney. ASAP.

Because if she is as savvy as you're making her out to be, you're not going to be painted as the victim here - SHE is.

Well, like I said I do have text messages. I wish I can post a screenshot, but I do have her saying in Mandarin (yes, I'm bilingual) saying "Ed, I hope you understand, I have no interest in a real relationship anymore, nor do I want to go back to China. I don't know what came over me when I wanted him [our baby], but that doesn't change anything. Don't divorce me or the next 5 years won't look good for you, I don't care if I ultimately get deported doing so (implying that she knows full well that harboring an illegal marriage means 5 years in prison). But if you stay married, I will give you $$,$$$."... But the problem is it's interspersed with "WHY THE **** DID YOU KILL OUR CHILD? I'M GONNA ****ING KILL YOU TOO!" and the like, and I don't want to incriminate myself for throwing death threats at her even though again, it was all out of emotions and I didn't mean it.

For the record, it's not about the money, and I don't know why people from China think that money solves everything even when it comes to American-born-and-raised people (it may work in China)... I want a family, and that's why I married. My mom and I are estranged and my dad commit suicide because of my mom's Cluster B tendencies, so I want to know what it's like to have a real, complete family AND have someone continue my family heritage if I die fighting the Daesh / ISIL / WTF ever they're called, or at the very least come home to more than just a wife after touring a desert for several years.

By the way, who/what is ORW?

 

[CdwJava]

It sounds like you need a divorce. Get a divorce, report her to ICE, and get on with your life. If she's back in China it may be a moot point with ICE, and it might present a wrinkle in the divorce, but, you should get that ball rolling.

As for the text messages, unless she seeks a restraining order against you or you are somehow prosecuted for the messages, they are also moot.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

She was referring to me OP. I do find it enlightening, this is the close she has ever come to admitting the US has a serious problem with immigration fraud and illegals as Trump and I both believe. Normally she keeps her head in the sand denying it exists. Maybe that is encouraging to believe people who vote will actually vote for a person serious about dealing with the issue instead of profiting from it or denying it.

 

[Proserpina]

I give up.

Get divorced, build a bridge and then get over it.