I have a question about divorce

What is the name of your state? California

My question is, my boyfriend and I have been dating for almost two years now. He has been separated from his wife for almost 2 and 1/2. He filed for divorce 2 years ago and we are still going through BS. She is a bitter woman that wants to make our lives difficult, so my question is, the final papers have been drawn up for awhile now and we are just awaiting her signature...how long does she have to sit on them? I thought there was a certain time that she had to FEDEX them back to us????? Please help I'm going insane. As long as she stays married to him she can still control him with his job because he is in the army. Ex WIVES are nuts

[CourtClerk]

Uh yeah... you may want to question your boyfriend a little further.

Why hasn't HE submitted the final judgment if he wants this divorce so bad? There is SOOO much more to this story.

[mommyof4]

And unless you are married to the woman, too (which would be an interesting twist on the whole bigamy thing, but hey, you are in CA...the land of the strange) nobody is sending "us" anything and "us" isn't dealing with all of this.

You are dating a married man. Until your married boyfriend and his wife are divorced, that will remain fact.

I suspect that non-ex-wives whose husbands are dating someone else tend to get a little testy. And yeah, the army really doesn't care too much for adultery.

If your boyfriend wants to get this over with, then he needs to submit the judgment.

He has filed for a bifurcation and the judge won't allow it because we aren't planning on getting married yet...so he has begged and pleaded with his lawyer but there is nothing he can do......my boyfriend already signed his part so now what? That was my question....and as for the not so ex wife....would've been an ex wife along time ago if she hadn't sat on everything forever while my boyfriend was over in the desert protecting our freedoms. We want this over with....

[mommyof4]

Sorry, but serving overseas doesn't excuse adultery.

I know that in your mind because someone is legally married to someone that in the legal sense...yes it's CALLED adultery. But what about all those people out there that leave their spouses, move on, find separate housing, accounts, and mates but they're still "married"...because of financial issues, or because the other spouse doesn't want to give up her benefits? when you hear married man you automatically think that he had an affair, but you would be wrong. And something you don't know about the military is that some people get married to partners and never actually have a relationship with them....so your adultery comment doesn't work in my situation...I asked a simple question about when the final papers have to be signed, not an opinion of someone that judges. Remember there are many people out there with issues and some of the time....the other party involved (EX WIFE) isn't a martyr, so instead of judging open your mind to possibilities.

[mommyof4]

Originally Posted by Nina1299

I know that in your mind because someone is legally married to someone that in the legal sense...yes it's CALLED adultery. But what about all those people out there that leave their spouses, move on, find separate housing, accounts, and mates but they're still "married"...because of financial issues, or because the other spouse doesn't want to give up her benefits? when you hear married man you automatically think that he had an affair, but you would be wrong. And something you don't know about the military is that some people get married to partners and never actually have a relationship with them....so your adultery comment doesn't work in my situation...I asked a simple question about when the final papers have to be signed, not an opinion of someone that judges. Remember there are many people out there with issues and some of the time....the other party involved (EX WIFE) isn't a martyr, so instead of judging open your mind to possibilities.

Sorry, but I am honestly a firm believer in completely ending one relationship before embarking on another.

To each his own, but the fact remains that you are dating a married man, no matter how you try to pretty it up. Oh, and it's not just in my mind. You were the one complaining that your relationship with him was causing or going to cause him problems with the Army. It's not his MARRIAGE that is putting his career in jeopardy. It's his relationship with YOU while he remains married that is putting his career in jeopardy.

Remember that you are the girlfriend of a married man who is posting a question on an internet forum about how to get his wife to get a move on.

Did I mention that I do know a bit about military life? I served, Sweetie.

Actually I was not complaining about his relationship with me ruining his career, what I was complaining about is the fact that this woman will not sack up and move on. I've been through this situation myself, along with watching my mother. It's 2008 and women are independent and can stand on their own. It's pathetic that after 2 1/2 years someone could still be dragging their feet. It sounds to me like you've been through something like this and that's your business but atleast try to look at it from another perspective. Believe it or not, this woman has more control over that divorce than you know...I've gone to the lawyer with my boyfriend and we have filed for bifurcations, he has offered to give her every dime...but she agrees to everything and then at the last minute changes her mind....she not only makes more money than him but has stolen money from his credit cards...so by all means...feel bad for her....but understand she's a monster and their are two beautiful children involved that secretly call their dad because she will yell....aww..poor married woman

[mommyof4]

Again, you're missing a HUGE point. WE haven't filed for anything.

Here's what YOU said.

As long as she stays married to him she can still control him with his job because he is in the army

.

Did I say I felt sorry for her? Nope, but she's not here, so I'm not addressing her. And excuse me, but if they never had relations (as you tried to imply) then how are there two children?

Why are you so defensive about having it stated in black and white that you are dating a married man?

I never said they didn't have relations, I was giving an example of some marriages in the military, I'm no fool they were married and have two children. I'm not defensive about being with a married man, I'm defensive about people that I try to get advice from already taking the side of the poor woman that makes everyone's life a living hell, yes everyone, mine, his, his poor children, and others she comes in contact with...and WE are in this together because even though I may not be on that paperwork, we are a team, he asked me to be a part of everything because we work together to get through things...so yes WE...I come on to these sites to get answers to questions, and if someone as an opinion that's fine but it's usually women like you, who, no offense because I don't know, but you're probably older and you have your views on what you think is right but there are different people out there so sometimes opinions aren't always something to be shared. I simply was asking for answer to a question....now that's the black and white of it

[mommyof4]

Originally Posted by Nina1299

I never said they didn't have relations, I was giving an example of some marriages in the military, I'm no fool they were married and have two children. I'm not defensive about being with a married man, I'm defensive about people that I try to get advice from already taking the side of the poor woman that makes everyone's life a living hell, yes everyone, mine, his, his poor children, and others she comes in contact with...and WE are in this together because even though I may not be on that paperwork, we are a team, he asked me to be a part of everything because we work together to get through things...so yes WE...I come on to these sites to get answers to questions, and if someone as an opinion that's fine but it's usually women like you, who, no offense because I don't know, but you're probably older and you have your views on what you think is right but there are different people out there so sometimes opinions aren't always something to be shared. I simply was asking for answer to a question....now that's the black and white of it

Yes, I'm ancient at 35. Decrepit, even....

You think you are a part of this? Go tell the judge you want an order to force her to end her marriage, once and for all, so that you can get on with your life with your boyfriend and their children.

[Ohiogal]

My question is, my boyfriend and I have been dating for almost two years now. He has been separated from his wife for almost 2 and 1/2. He filed for divorce 2 years ago and we are still going through BS.

You are going through nothing. Absolutely nothing.

She is a bitter woman that wants to make our lives difficult, so my question is, the final papers have been drawn up for awhile now and we are just awaiting her signature...how long does she have to sit on them?

Forever. She NEVER has to sign them.

I thought there was a certain time that she had to FEDEX them back to us?????

Nope.

Please help I'm going insane.

There is treatment available for that.

As long as she stays married to him she can still control him with his job because he is in the army. Ex WIVES are nuts

She is not nuts -- she is NOT an ex wife.

He has filed for a bifurcation and the judge won't allow it because we aren't planning on getting married yet...so he has begged and pleaded with his lawyer but there is nothing he can do......my boyfriend already signed his part so now what?

Now he waits and hopes that his WIFE doesn't decide to pursue adultery with his supervisor. The military frowns on adultery.

That was my question....and as for the not so ex wife....would've been an ex wife along time ago if she hadn't sat on everything forever while my boyfriend was over in the desert protecting our freedoms.

Oh really? She NEVER has to consent to divorce. maybe your boyfriend should have considered who he married.

We want this over with....

Poor thing....

I know that in your mind because someone is legally married to someone that in the legal sense...yes it's CALLED adultery.

Yep it is adultery.

But what about all those people out there that leave their spouses, move on, find separate housing, accounts, and mates but they're still "married"...because of financial issues, or because the other spouse doesn't want to give up her benefits?

Still legally adultery.

when you hear married man you automatically think that he had an affair, but you would be wrong.

YOu know what I am thinking?

And something you don't know about the military is that some people get married to partners and never actually have a relationship with them....so your adultery comment doesn't work in my situation...

Actually legally it does. You are committing adultery. END of story.

I asked a simple question about when the final papers have to be signed, not an opinion of someone that judges.

Jeez, I thought this was a legal question which is going to be heard by someone who judges. You know, the person in a black robe -- a JUDGE.

Remember there are many people out there with issues and some of the time....the other party involved (EX WIFE) isn't a martyr, so instead of judging open your mind to possibilities.

She is NOT an ex wife... she is HIS WIFE.

Actually I was not complaining about his relationship with me ruining his career, what I was complaining about is the fact that this woman will not sack up and move on.

You are trespassing on her property and you are angry at her? You say she is bitter but you are the bitter adulterous woman.

I've been through this situation myself, along with watching my mother. It's 2008 and women are independent and can stand on their own.

So you are used to adultery.

It's pathetic that after 2 1/2 years someone could still be dragging their feet.

Really? What has your boyfriend done other than complain about it?

It sounds to me like you've been through something like this and that's your business but atleast try to look at it from another perspective. Believe it or not, this woman has more control over that divorce than you know...

Not really.

I've gone to the lawyer with my boyfriend and we have filed for bifurcations, he has offered to give her every dime...

YOU have not filed for anything unless you are divorcing her.

but she agrees to everything and then at the last minute changes her mind....she not only makes more money than him but has stolen money from his credit cards...

Oh really? How?

so by all means...feel bad for her....but understand she's a monster and their are two beautiful children involved that secretly call their dad because she will yell....aww..poor married woman

They call because she YELLS? Give me a break. Should we say poor adulterous tramp?

Hey Ohiogal, do yourself a favor, before you start uttering irrelevant phrases, try reading the whole story about what I wrote. You only got half of it and your opinion, yeah, no one cares about someone's closed minded, outdated thoughts on life.... thanks

[Ohiogal]

Originally Posted by Nina1299

Hey Ohiogal, do yourself a favor, before you start uttering irrelevant phrases, try reading the whole story about what I wrote. You only got half of it and your opinion, yeah, no one cares about someone's closed minded, outdated thoughts on life.... thanks

I only got half of it? I quoted all of it. Irrelevant phrases? Hmmm.. I read the whole story. You apparently don't like the facts I gave you. How about this -- go hire an attorn... oh wait. You are NOT a party to this except a third party who is committing adultery with a married man. Which by the way is a legal fact. So you may be brought into this big time.