I need advice ASAP!

[jnolan2006]

What is the name of your state? California

Ok, my name is Jeannette and I am 16 (will be 17 on june 2nd) years old. I have a boyfriend who is 18. We have been together since January of 2004. I wasn't allowed to be with him until two months ago. My mom gave me permission to see him but only at school, she said I would have to work my way up for her to let me be able to actually go out with him. Well a month and half passed and she still didn't change her mind. So then twice I told her I was going to see a play at school...but I really went out with my boyfriend. We went to the movies with a couple of his friends. This past week I started to walk to school...so I decided I'd meet my boyfriend halfway to the school and we'd walk together. My mom didn't like that. Plus yesterday she found out about me not going to the plays. So when I came from school yesterday, I went upstairs and she started yelling at me...saying she had given me a chance to be with him and I messed it up. I didn't do anything any other teenager hasn't done. She takes little things and blows them way out of porportion. Ok so I got mad and I ran out of the house to the park that is 2 blocks away from my house. My boyfriend and his friends just happened to be there and they all went over to me and they tried to calm me down, when my mom arrived in the car. She told me to get in and I said no. So she told me she had called the police already and that if I stayed with my boyfriend, he would get in trouble too. So then I had to go. My boyfriend walked me over to the car and I went home. When I got there, there was a cop waiting for us. He talked to both of us separately. Basically his conclusion was that my mom and I refuse to see eachothers side. So he said we should try and work things out, my mom agreed. But then this morning I heard her talking to my sister (they thought I was still sleeping). Shes planning on sending me to a boarding school. She doesn't want me to know until its time to go next year. I don't want to live with her. Me and her have never had a good relationship. We're always at eachothers throats. I'm not a bad kid. I have good grades at school...I'm actually taking AP classes. I'm involved in extra curricular activities. But she makes me feel that I'm still a bad kid. Yea, I've lied to her before, but what teenager hasn't? She had a different lifestyle growing up in Mexico, she said kids my age never acted like the way I am. But she doesn't get things change when you go to different countries. Now, I go to school and good grades. I have a job. I just need to know if I can legally live somewhere else besides my parents house. I need advice on what to do. I've lived here all my life and I only have one year of high school left. I want to graduate here...but my mom most likely isn't going to permit that by sending me off to a boarding school. HELP! What can I do???undefined

[AlexandriaDumas]

Legally speaking, you could apply to be an emancipated minor. However, in the heat of the moment, it's probably not a good time to be making decisions like this. And how would you live? Quit school and get a full-time job? Want to be a waitress for the rest of your life?

Who, besides your parents (btw, where is your father in all this?) would want to support you and let you do whatever you want, whenever you want, with whomever you want, as you apparently desire?

If it's any consolation, I went to boarding school for one year and it was the most incredibly wonderful experience of my life. You never know, you might have as good a time as I did.

Why don't you start telling your mother the truth for a change, no matter how much it may hurt her. Try being obedient, you've only got one year until you graduate from high school.

The fact is, your mother is acting as most mothers do when dealing with a rebellious teenager--a very much loved rebellious teenager. Do you know what she sees when she sees you sneaking out to see your "boyfriend?" She sees you pregnant at 18. She sees you blowing your good grades and NOT going to college. She sees you working a low-paying crappy job you hate with tattoos, nose rings, and low friends, hitting the bars at night after work. She sees a cheap tramp. She wants more for you and she knows who you really are and how special and smart you are and how wonderful life will be for you. She knows what's going on with you right now and she's scared, which is why she probably isn't handling this situation very well. She loves you, this is obvious from your post, and she's doing the best she can. Can't you give her a break?

Try putting yourself in your mother's place. What would you do with a daughter like you? How would you handle the situation when you catch your daughter lying and sneaking off with her "boyfriend?"

Trust me on this: Before you know it you will be living on your own, doing whatever YOU want to do. Where you are in life right now is just a tiny tip of the iceberg of how wonderful life is. You have no idea how much better it gets the older you are. I wouldn't be your age again for anything. It sucks. But it WILL get better if you just don't blow it right now. So you hang in there. Try thinking about what you can do to make your mother happy. This really will pass.