I need help regarding QDRO

[mkid1109]

What is the name of your state? Illinois
My divorce decree states that I must give my "ex" a specific dollar amount of my 401(k). My divorce attorney does not complete QDRO's but she can outsource it for a cost of $1000 which I don't have. I have been divorced for nearly 2 yrs and have asked my ex several times to have his attorney complete the QDRO form in order for him to get his portion of my 401(k). I finally called my ex's attorney who said that she will complete the process but I have to give her the QDRO form.

I was able to obtain a copy of an Illinois QDRO form but it doesn't stipulate an exact amount only calculations and percentages. Is there a form that specifies an exact amount?

Also, I was the one who initiated the divorce so is it my responsiblity to have the QDRO form completed or my ex? It doesn't seem fair that I should have to pay for the QDRO process and then have to give him part of my 401(k) especially since he didn't have one at the time of our divorce.

 

[Bali Hai]

What is the name of your state? Illinois
My divorce decree states that I must give my "ex" a specific dollar amount of my 401(k). My divorce attorney does not complete QDRO's but she can outsource it for a cost of $1000 which I don't have. I have been divorced for nearly 2 yrs and have asked my ex several times to have his attorney complete the QDRO form in order for him to get his portion of my 401(k). I finally called my ex's attorney who said that she will complete the process but I have to give her the QDRO form.

I was able to obtain a copy of an Illinois QDRO form but it doesn't stipulate an exact amount only calculations and percentages. Is there a form that specifies an exact amount?

Also, I was the one who initiated the divorce so is it my responsiblity to have the QDRO form completed or my ex?

You are.

It doesn't seem fair that I should have to pay for the QDRO process and then have to give him part of my 401(k) especially since he didn't have one at the time of our divorce.

Well what would you consider fair?

 

[mkid1109]

Well since he is the one getting my hard earned money that I saved for retirement I think he should at least pay for the QDRO...I paid for everything else we ever had including the divorce.

 

[SHORTY LONG]

Well since he is the one getting my hard earned money that I saved for retirement I think he should at least pay for the QDRO...I paid for everything else we ever had including the divorce.

Have you tried to approach him and see if he will pay for it?

 

[Bali Hai]

Well since he is the one getting my hard earned money that I saved for retirement I think he should at least pay for the QDRO...I paid for everything else we ever had including the divorce.

Well, My ex got my hard earned money that I saved for retirement and I had to pay for EVERYTHING, INCLUDING ther QDRO!!!

My, I'm really feeling sorry for you because you are a woman and not a man!! Stick it!!

 

[mkid1109]

I realize that over the years many women took advantage over the men but unfortunately I'm not one of those women. I am hearing more and more that men are reversing that role by sticking it to the women!

I actually paid for ALL the bills, took care of all the household for 11 years until he drank himself to a stuper and always wondered if he was going to kill himself or someone else.
I guess I just couldn't take it anymore...he loved the bottle more than me so I decided to end it.

I have asked him to pay for it but now he refuses to talk to me or reply back to my emails so I guess I'm stuck paying for the QDRO forms to be completed and yes...giving him my hard earned money!

 

[LdiJ]

I realize that over the years many women took advantage over the men but unfortunately I'm not one of those women. I am hearing more and more that men are reversing that role by sticking it to the women!

I actually paid for ALL the bills, took care of all the household for 11 years until he drank himself to a stuper and always wondered if he was going to kill himself or someone else.
I guess I just couldn't take it anymore...he loved the bottle more than me so I decided to end it.

I have asked him to pay for it but now he refuses to talk to me or reply back to my emails so I guess I'm stuck paying for the QDRO forms to be completed and yes...giving him my hard earned money!

Frequently, its the person due to receive the money that is responsible for handling the QDRO...don't automatically assume that its your responsibility.

Also, I know many people who have filled out the QDRO forms themselves...don't assume that you have to spend an extra 1000.00 to have it done. For some reason that I don't understand, many attorneys are reluctant to handle the QDRO forms.

 

[mkid1109]

Thank you for the advice, I have reached out to my attorney who does not do QDRO's and I talked to his attorney who just tells me she needs the QDRO form and she will complete it for me.

I do have a copy of the Illinois QDRO form but it doesn't let me put in a specific dollar amount. Any suggestions?

 

[LdiJ]

Thank you for the advice, I have reached out to my attorney who does not do QDRO's and I talked to his attorney who just tells me she needs the QDRO form and she will complete it for me.

I do have a copy of the Illinois QDRO form but it doesn't let me put in a specific dollar amount. Any suggestions?

See if your HR department can provide you a QDRO form.....or in the alternative, see if Fidelity will provide one.