I want a legal separation but he doesnt...

[Depressedgal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? IL

What can I do to get him to leave?! I feel so stuck!! I want to separate but he is the only one working and I am a 53 yr old woman with no college degree who homeschools our only child. I have nowhere to go and no money or education. His entire family is around us...mine is not. He is very controlling, a constant liar and I am so miserably depressed that I cant stand it! Is there any hope of being able to force him to go?? He is not physically abusive, just emotionally and mentally! We've been married 13 years. Thanks.

 

[mistoffolees]

So you want him to support you so you can continue not working but you don't want him around. He, OTOH, is willing to support you as long as you stay around.

Sounds to me like the real solution is for you to get a job and be able to support yourself.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? IL

What can I do to get him to leave?! I feel so stuck!! I want to separate but he is the only one working and I am a 53 yr old woman with no college degree who homeschools our only child. I have nowhere to go and no money or education. His entire family is around us...mine is not. He is very controlling, a constant liar and I am so miserably depressed that I cant stand it! Is there any hope of being able to force him to go?? He is not physically abusive, just emotionally and mentally! We've been married 13 years. Thanks.

If you could force him to leave how could you pay the expenses of your home?

 

[ecmst12]

You can't force him to go. You can get a job, make yourself financially independent, and leave HIS loser you-know-what.

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? IL

What can I do to get him to leave?! I feel so stuck!! I want to separate but he is the only one working and I am a 53 yr old woman with no college degree who homeschools our only child. I have nowhere to go and no money or education. His entire family is around us...mine is not. He is very controlling, a constant liar and I am so miserably depressed that I cant stand it! Is there any hope of being able to force him to go?? He is not physically abusive, just emotionally and mentally! We've been married 13 years. Thanks.

What did you do for the first 40 years of your life? And you are homeschooling your child with a high school education? How old is your child? Wouldn't it be better for the child to attend school taught by actual educators?If you want to leave, LEAVE. Go to your family. Realize that he can go to court and ask that HIS CHILD be returned to the marital home immediately and he have sole possession of the marital home.

 

[IrishLady47]

Wow, I'm a 53 yr old woman with no college degree. Raised a son (who has completed college) largely by myself since our divorce when he was a year old.

Oh, and I bought my own home, make over 75K, and am retiring in 2 years with sufficient savings to enjoy my retirement.

Am I just lucky? Maybe, I do certainly count my blessings. But mostly it is because since I was 14 I believed in one 4 letter word---WORK!

 

[Ohiogal]

Wow, I'm a 53 yr old woman with no college degree. Raised a son (who has completed college) largely by myself since our divorce when he was a year old.

Oh, and I bought my own home, make over 75K, and am retiring in 2 years with sufficient savings to enjoy my retirement.

Am I just lucky? Maybe, I do certainly count my blessings. But mostly it is because since I was 14 I believed in one 4 letter word---WORK!

Cool. Then you can SUPPORT YOURSELF NOW. Keep believing that four letter word and turn it into a three letter one -- JOB.

See how that works? And if you are NOT working now, retiring is not going to change anything. Get a job, move out and be self sufficient.

 

[IrishLady47]

Cool. Then you can SUPPORT YOURSELF NOW. Keep believing that four letter word and turn it into a three letter one -- JOB.

See how that works? And if you are NOT working now, retiring is not going to change anything. Get a job, move out and be self sufficient.

Uh, OG, I'm not the OP. I was pointing out to the OP that being a 53 woman w/o a college degree is no excuse and she is not "stuck" unless she wants to be "stuck".

 

[Ohiogal]

Uh, OG, I'm not the OP. I was pointing out to the OP that being a 53 woman w/o a college degree is no excuse and she is not "stuck" unless she wants to be "stuck".

Crap. I thought the OP posted that -- I know YOU are not the OP. I thought she was posting because she got ticked at my questions and wanted to show me how much she had accomplished and was somewhat answering my questions. But yeah, you are right. She is NOT stuck unless she wants to be stuck.

Apologies for reading that and thinking the OP (and I know you Irish are NOT the OP) posted that.

 

[IrishLady47]

That's okay. I really got ticked at her portraying being a 53 yr old woman w/o a college degree as someone unable to help themselves. Ridiculous!

 

[IrishLady47]

In all seriousness, OP, the best move you could make now is to seek treatment for your depression.

Then, you might see all your options, legal or otherwise.