I want to move to another State!!

[NeedHelpInMI]

What is the name of your state? Michigan
I'm lost & confused.This is my 1st marriage. I've been married for 1yr & 7mos & I want to move as soon as possible to another state without my husband. He said he will move in with his mother. Do I need to get legally separated before I move & if so how do I do that? Or can I just file for a divorce? Where do I go to do any of this? We are both currently unemployed. He isn't doing a thing to try to get a job. All he wants to do is lay in bed & watch TV all day & night. I've been actively looking for a job. He doesn't give me any affection what so ever. He doesn't want to have sex with me. I've been sleeping on the couch for almost 2 weeks because he even refuses to shower & brush his teeth. I'm losing my mind here. We live in a house with a land contract which is in his name. He has it paid for the month of October but we have no money to pay after that. Which means that he is going to lose the house. Will that jeopardize me in any way? Will I be entitled to any of the equity money? We don't have anything jointly because he always wanted everything to be under his name. He owes some money to 2 banks, will I be responsible for that or any other debts that he may have?
Thank you very much in advance for any advice that anyone gives me!!!What is the name of your state?

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

are there any children involved?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? Michigan
I'm lost & confused.This is my 1st marriage. I've been married for 1yr & 7mos & I want to move as soon as possible to another state without my husband. He said he will move in with his mother. Do I need to get legally separated before I move & if so how do I do that? Or can I just file for a divorce? Where do I go to do any of this? We are both currently unemployed. He isn't doing a thing to try to get a job. All he wants to do is lay in bed & watch TV all day & night. I've been actively looking for a job. He doesn't give me any affection what so ever. He doesn't want to have sex with me. I've been sleeping on the couch for almost 2 weeks because he even refuses to shower & brush his teeth. I'm losing my mind here. We live in a house with a land contract which is in his name. He has it paid for the month of October but we have no money to pay after that. Which means that he is going to lose the house. Will that jeopardize me in any way? Will I be entitled to any of the equity money? We don't have anything jointly because he always wanted everything to be under his name. He owes some money to 2 banks, will I be responsible for that or any other debts that he may have?
Thank you very much in advance for any advice that anyone gives me!!!What is the name of your state?

Do the two of you have any children? If not, then you are free to move anywhere that you like, anytime that you like.

Since your marriage has been very short, most likely the two of you won't be splitting much in the way of debts or assets. You would only split whatever accrued during the marriage.

 

[NeedHelpInMI]

We don't have any children together but I have a son.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

You would need to have permission from your ex or the courts to move your son.

 

[NeedHelpInMI]

My son's father has never been involved in his life. I don't even know where he lives. Why would I need permission from the courts if my husband isn't his father?

 

[Silverplum]

Um...far be it from me to ~meddle~ but in the marriage vows there's a part about "in sickness and in health."

Has it occurred to you that your H may be seriously depressed and simply needs to see a dr.? He could be a whole 'nother guy on anti-depressants.

You might be tossing a marriage for an illness...I think that's less than you promised to do. Much less.

As a wise poster here likes to say, "My 2 cents...take or toss."

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

I am refering to your son's father. If there is a court order establishing him to be the father, you MUST notify him and/or have permission from the court to move out of state. If you do not know where he is, then go thru the courts after making efforts to notify him.

 

[NeedHelpInMI]

Well I am severely depressed also! I have Bipolar & I don't mope around ALL day. I also try to do what I can for my family. He just doesn't care about anything or anyone including himself! He is just plain lazy! For the record, we both have gone for counseling/therapy!
Plus, I was asking for advice on what to do not on what I could have or should have done!

 

[NeedHelpInMI]

There are no court orders establishing who my son's father is. So, does that mean that I can move to another state without any legal problems? If I move without my husband would that be considered abandonment? Do I have to be legally separated before I move?

 

[Silverplum]

Okey doke.

*steps over the 2 pennies lying on the ground...*

Well I am severely depressed also! I have Bipolar & I don't mope around ALL day. I also try to do what I can for my family. He just doesn't care about anything or anyone including himself! He is just plain lazy! For the record, we both have gone for counseling/therapy!
Plus, I was asking for advice on what to do not on what I could have or should have done!

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Are you planning on divorcing your husband, or just separating for a while? I realize that when there is a job loss, it takes its toll on the whole family. That both of you are unemployed does not help matters.

Since you have not established paternity for your son, no you would not have to have permission from the court. But, if you consider going on any TANF, welfare, whatever, that matter will have to be established.

You may leave, but you are currently liable for 1/2 the bills of your household. If your husband doesn't pay them, guess who they will go after?

 

[LdiJ]

Ok....lets try this again....

If your son's father is not involved in your son's life and paternity has not been established you can move wherever you like. If your son's father is involved in his life then you may have a problem if you move without his written permission or the permission of the courts.

Your current marriage, because there are no children involve in the marriage, does not prohibit you from moving anywhere that you like.

Your current marriage is very short term. Its likely that very little marital assets or debts accrued during the marriage, and those are the only things that you would end up sharing.

 

[Gracie3787]

Well I am severely depressed also! I have Bipolar & I don't mope around ALL day. I also try to do what I can for my family. He just doesn't care about anything or anyone including himself! He is just plain lazy! For the record, we both have gone for counseling/therapy!

You are bi-polar, and YOU are blaming your husband? It's sad, because my VERY EDUCATED guess is that if you are truly bi-polar, you have experienced depressive episodes where anyone looking at you would have claimed that YOU were lazy and didn't care. It sounds like your husband is very ill, and I don't understand why you cannot at least feel some empathy for him. I'm NOT saying that you should stay or leave, that's your choice, but it's inherently unfair for you to blame him for something that you have almost certainly done yourself.

BTW- I am also bi-polar, I have it controlled with meds to where I seldom have a serious depressive episode and only mild manic episodes, but at least I don't blame others for their illnesses.

 

[NeedHelpInMI]

Well Gracie, I too take medications. That has nothing to do with the advice I was asking for. This is an advice forum so if you can't give helpful advice to anyone then you should keep your remarks & comments to yourself. It is obvious with you having over 2,200 posts that you don't have anything better to do.