I want out

[advice100]

What is the name of your state? Illinois


I have been married for 13 years and have not been intimate with my wife for 5 years. I am unhappy and have been so for a long time. We have next to nothing in common anymore. I work as much as possible to not be home.
Are these grounds enough for my state?
I have not left because I feel guilty for feeling this way and awhile back she had a tumor but is fine now.
Will I lose my 401k, pension and everything I have worked for?
She works part time and makes 5 figures, I make 6
Will I have to pay alimony and for how long?
I just want as clean a break as possible

Please Help


Sincerely

Lonely and depressed

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Get some family counselling first. You have bigger problems than legal.

 

[advice100]

She refuses to go to counseling with me
In the past I had mentioned separation but she threatened me with the child but he is grown now,

 

[BelizeBreeze]

She refuses to go to counseling with me
In the past I had mentioned separation but she threatened me with the child but he is grown now,

Then YOU go to counselling. If after you do, you still want to get "OUT" then by all means go for it.

 

[HomeGuru]

Then YOU go to counselling. If after you do, you still want to get "OUT" then by all means go for it.

**A: and also see a legal counselor that specializes in family law.

 

[advice100]

I have already spoken to a counselor a few times on my own and have come to the conclusion I would be happier on my own. I have put all I can in this marriage and am miserable. I just dont know if I have enough grounds in my state to divorce. We barely speak to each other unless necessary. I dont want to live like a prisoner anymore. There has to be more to life. I am just worried about it being long and drawn out and very costly.