For IAAL

[cdiaz1]

What is the name of your state? Still Texas

I have sent e-mails to my attorney. I've called at all hours of the day and night here trying to get him on the phone. I call when his assistant tells me to, on the off chance I might catch him between meetings. I've done everything I can to contact to him. The only person I can ever contact or receive replies from is his assistant. The only time I've been able to talk to him was before I actually retained his services.

This is not an attack on my attorney, I know he's got other clients to deal with. This is an attempt for me to try to work out some kind of plan to deal with this situation when I get back to the states in a couple of weeks. It looks like I won't be able to get back there until late on the 3 Jun 03 and the court date is 04 Jun. I would certainly like to at least have some sort of plan before I see my attorney the morning of my court date.

Thank you,
cdiaz1

 

[Boxcarbill]

There is a rather large "Post Reply" buttom on the bottom right side of the post. Please keep your posts together in the same thread. It allows readers to know what is going on without looking for every thread posted under that name to find out. Incidentally, most readers are not going to work that hard to give free advice. If you want to "quote" the person's post inside your response that you are responding to, then hit the smaller "quote" button just above the larger "post reply" button. You can also "delete" and "edit" your own threads.

A Texas court may grant a divorce if 60 days have elasped between the date that the petition is filed and the date that the final decree is signed.

Now, I have done an "edit" of my original thread and that shows at the bottom of this post.

 

[cdiaz1]

Discrepancy

Discrepancy noted, corrective action taken.

Thanks for the information. My question still looms however. My wife has told me that she will drag this out as long as possible. I have agreed to take all the debts except her two credit cards and her vehicle - if she decides to keep it - and that she can have all the property. The only thing we can't agree on is how much money she should get each month.

she wants $650 child support (which I don't have a problem with), $650 alimony, and for me to continue to make her vehicle and insurance payments for her. All told, about $1900/month. I'm an E-5 in the US army and stationed in Korea.

1. I can't afford to give that much out of a 2100/month paycheck.

2. I can't afford, nor will they allow me, to fly back to the states to make continuous court dates - and I'm out of leave after this appearance on 4 June.

Again, my question. I'm asking you now because you are in Texas and may be able to offer some advice and if not, crush my last dreams of ending this divorce any time soon and bring me back to reality.

Given these circumstances, how long can she drag this out? If it's just money in dispute, can't the judge make that decision? Would it be possible for me, given my current duty location and the fact that I'm out of leave, to convince the judge to make this temporary hearing a final one? or at least grant me a final hearing before I fly back on the 14th of June?

Any assistance is greatly appreciated.

Thank you.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

My response:

Since I'm a California attorney, and Boxcarbill is the Texas attorney on these here boards, I'll just saunter over and let BCB help you.

IAAL

 

[Boxcarbill]

Re: Discrepancy

Discrepancy noted, corrective action taken.

Thanks for the information. My question still looms however. My wife has told me that she will drag this out as long as possible. I have agreed to take all the debts except her two credit cards and her vehicle - if she decides to keep it - and that she can have all the property. The only thing we can't agree on is how much money she should get each month.

she wants $650 child support (which I don't have a problem with), $650 alimony, and for me to continue to make her vehicle and insurance payments for her. All told, about $1900/month. I'm an E-5 in the US army and stationed in Korea.

1. I can't afford to give that much out of a 2100/month paycheck.

2. I can't afford, nor will they allow me, to fly back to the states to make continuous court dates - and I'm out of leave after this appearance on 4 June.

Again, my question. I'm asking you now because you are in Texas and may be able to offer some advice and if not, crush my last dreams of ending this divorce any time soon and bring me back to reality.

Given these circumstances, how long can she drag this out? If it's just money in dispute, can't the judge make that decision? Would it be possible for me, given my current duty location and the fact that I'm out of leave, to convince the judge to make this temporary hearing a final one? or at least grant me a final hearing before I fly back on the 14th of June?

Any assistance is greatly appreciated.

Thank you.

First, I know Texas family law. I don't know much about Soldier's and Sailor Act or military law.

Yes, the judge could finalize the divorce on June 5 because 60 days have elasped since the date of the filing of the petition. The reality is that the only way that could happen is if the parties have reached an agreement and both parties have signed the Final Decree, "Approved as to Content" and the attorneys has signed "Approved as to Form." Then she and her attorney can spend a big 5 minutes in judicial chambers and have the judge approve the Agreed Decree, file stamp it and mail you and your attorney judically signed and file-marked copies and its over. Well, not really. Since there are children it (the one upmanship and the back biting) will not be over until the last child reaches majority.

However, since you obviously have not reached an agreement, (see 1 above) that is not going to happen. So a request for final hearing must be made and then it moves up from the bottom of the civil trial docket and how fast that happens depends upon the individual court and the city in which the court is located. Count on at least six months. If a jury trial is requested, it will be longer.

He who takes the property takes the debt that goes with it because he is the one most motivated to pay the debt. If she is driving the car and you are making the payment and you fail to make the payment, who will be walking? Now, which one is most motivated to make the payment?

Do a search on "debt after divorce" because I'm tired of writing on that subject. Just type in the words in the little "search box" at the bottom, right hand side of the screen or type in "Boxcarbill" and that will bring up threads that I've written on and then you can find the ones which pertain to debt or whatever else you are interested in searching.

 

[cdiaz1]

back to reality

Thank you for bringing me back to reality. I was hoping that this matter could be resolved more quickly but since that is not an option it's at least good to know that this will definitely take some time. I won't be sitting around with my fingers crossed thinking everyday that this mess will be over soon. I Guess I'll just shut my mouth, sit back and wait for my lawyer to deliver the good news, that I've finally be granted parole.

Thanks again,
cdiaz1

 

[kdowd771]

cdiaz1
Hey I hope you have better luck than me. I am now working on 18 months to get this NIGHTMARE over. Have now filed Bankruptcy and I am not sure THAT will motivate her to remove the stinking jury fee. After the mediation we had on May 1 I have heard SQUAT on when a jury trial will be set. She is now 2 months behind on the money she owes and my lawyer has been trying to contact her lawyer who has been trying to contact her for the past 3 weeks and she has been avoiding her lawyers calls and not returning them. My lawyer is sick and tired of this stupid stuff this psychotic animal is doing. In turn I am sick of it and am bugging my lawyer to get SOMETHING done!!! Of course the judicial system moves as fast as watching grass grow during a drought here in Texas!!!!
I wish you luck on the endeavor you are about to undertake. Maybe yours won't last 18 months++ like mine has. Hey you could always seprate from the military get the divorce done. (you now have no bennies for her to mooch off of) then come back in. The air force is taking people back in that got out months or years ago all the time. Not sure about the army but the Air force food is better ya know. Come on over to the good side!!!
PS sorry if I scared the life out of you, but reality sometimes is not pretty!!!

 

[cdiaz1]

Wake up call

Thanks for the thoughts. I don't mind having the life scared out of me. You and Boxcar have brought me back to reality. This may be something that I'll be dealing with for quite some time. That's okay though, I think I will separate from the Army but not to come back in. I hear there are plenty of contract jobs here in Korea that start at around $70,000 - tax free.

Anyway, thanks again.

 

[ellencee]

cdiaz1
If you start making $5333 a month ($70,000/year), won't you just end up back in court in Texas to answer a request for an increase in support? That tax-free income may end up being very costly to you! Your children could be entitled to $2,000 a month support.

Makes me think of the lyrics, 'feels like I'm winning when I'm losing again'.

Best wishes,
EC

 

[cdiaz1]

That may be but...

I may end up back in court again at a later time for more child support but that has never been an issue with me. She's asking for ridiculous amounts of money in support to HER. She has a bachelor's and she's currently working on her master's. By the end of this year she'll have 3 master's degrees. I just don't how she should be entitled to any support considering she already has a job offer working on Fort Hood - upon completion of her master's - starting out making twice as much money as I do. She says "think of the kids" but is she really thinking of the kids? If I give her the money she's asking for - and she says this is the only way she'll give me the divorce - I'll be left with about $800/month. What type of household am I supposed to be able to run with that? I'll probably be the only homeless soldier in the US Army and to make matters worse, I certainly won't have money to cover air fare or bus tickets for that matter to be able to see my kids. And for what? So she doesn't have to work while she tries to finish a doctorate? Which by the way is exactly what she told me was the reason for these ridiculous requests:

over $1600/month

I buy her an $80,000 house and quick deed it to her in the divorce - which by the way leaves me holding the bag if she defaults

And these are the most reasonable requests she's made so far.

I've been trying to find out if there is anyway that the judge can just intervene since the only thing in dispute is money. I'm taking all the debts, except for anything she decides she wants to keep - like the truck - and I don't want any personal property. But it seems there's nothing I can do but wait until she's had her fill of my money and SHE's decided it's no longer "fruitful" for her to stay married to me.

Sorry for the long post. I guess I should have just said what I started out to say - I don't mind paying child support. But it doesn't matter, if I decide to get out of the Army, it won't be until next November and I'm praying this whole mess will be over long before then.

cdiaz1

 

[Boxcarbill]

Re: That may be but...

I may end up back in court again at a later time for more child support but that has never been an issue with me. She's asking for ridiculous amounts of money in support to HER. She has a bachelor's and she's currently working on her master's. By the end of this year she'll have 3 master's degrees. I just don't how she should be entitled to any support considering she already has a job offer working on Fort Hood - upon completion of her master's - starting out making twice as much money as I do. . . .
cdiaz1

Nor do I know how she would be entitled to any support for herself under Texas law. Now, obviously parties can agree to most anything. But as far as her being entitled to spousal maintenance after the divorce, Texas just does not favor spousal maintenance except for two narrow exceptions. I will provide you with the applicable statute so that you will understand just how little Texas favors spousal maintenance.

§ 8.051. Eligibility for Maintenance; Court Order


In a suit for dissolution of a marriage or in a proceeding for maintenance in a court with personal jurisdiction over both former spouses following the dissolution of their marriage by a court that lacked personal jurisdiction over an absent spouse, the court may order maintenance for either spouse only if:


(1) the spouse from whom maintenance is requested was convicted of or received deferred adjudication for a criminal offense that also constitutes an act of family violence under Title 4 and the offense occurred:


(A) within two years before the date on which a suit for dissolution of the marriage is filed; or


(B) while the suit is pending; or


(2) the duration of the marriage was 10 years or longer, the spouse seeking maintenance lacks sufficient property, including property distributed to the spouse under this code, to provide for the spouse's minimum reasonable needs, as limited by Section 8.054, and the spouse seeking maintenance:


(A) is unable to support himself or herself through appropriate employment because of an incapacitating physical or mental disability;


(B) is the custodian of a child who requires substantial care and personal supervision because a physical or mental disability makes it necessary, taking into consideration the needs of the child, that the spouse not be employed outside the home; or


(C) clearly lacks earning ability in the labor market adequate to provide support for the spouse's minimum reasonable needs, as limited by Section 8.054.


Added by Acts 1997, 75th Leg., ch. 7, § 1, eff. April 17, 1997.


Amended by Acts 1999, 76th Leg., ch. 62, § 6.05, eff. Sept. 1, 1999; Acts 1999, 76th Leg., ch. 304, § 1, eff. Sept. 1, 1999. Renumbered from § 8.002 and amended by Acts 2001, 77th Leg., ch. 807, § 1, eff. Sept. 1, 2001.

 

[cdiaz1]

Thanks again

I'm not sure if I'm reading this right but it sounds to me like there's no way she should be entitled to any type of maintenance. My daughter does have arthritis but not to the extent that she requires 24 hour care. She receives a shot once a week and meds in the morning and the evening.

My wife just received her Bachelor's last May and is currently working on the first of her three Master's. She should finish the first Master's in August of this year. She already has job offers with the Army Hospital on Fort Hood.

She has no disabilities, at least not debilitatting - unless you count an addiction for Bingo that far excedes the bounds of reason.

Anyway, I think I'm right in my deductions here and I just want to thank you again for the info, Boxcar.

cdiaz1

 

[Military Dad]

I’m not a lawyer but I was reading your post with great interest because I went through the same scenario 6 years ago.
I had an uncontested divorce with a child involved while living in Houston. The Ex wanted to take my child and move back to Florida, but I decided to push the divorce through in Houston because to my understanding, Texas doesn’t have alimony laws (so to speak). I’ve heard Florida is very generous with alimony but wasn’t going to let her know that.

Because of my Military status and deployment schedule, I decided to let the Ex take care of my child uncontested. The nest issue on the chopping block was a fair and reasonable amount for child support? Of course she wanted mucho denero but I went though Military legal and found out a good rule of thumb for CS is 30% of my base pay. Read that again: this does not include any un-taxable income such as BAH, SEPRATS or hazardous duty pay. For the life of me I cant remember where I read that information but it’s still fresh in my head. Of course, she could try to raise that, but she would need a damn good reason.

The soldiers and Sailors act:
This act was signed shortly after WWII and protects service members from having judgments made against them while in service of their country on foreign soil. Basically this means theirs nothing she can do until you return CONUS. Just remember, if you RELAD, this no longer applies to you. I’ll try and post the particulars about this later but I think this may help you out greatly.

Hope all this stuff helps a little?

 

[cdiaz1]

All information greatly appreciated

I appreciate the information. I was not aware of the particular formula they use to calculate child support - but what my lawyer tells me I will have to pay is about 30%.

I am aware of the Soldiers and Sailors Civil Relief Act. I'm not sure how that will affect the divorce though so I'm a bit wary of using until I find out more. The last thing I want to do is stop the divorce process until I return in August 2004.

My command has suggested that I go to legal, file a (military) legal separation, which will have her (and the kids, which pains me a bit) removed from Government Quarters and state exactly what monies I am obligated to pay to her pending a court order. Which they tell me she can't get while I'm deployed.

I'm not trying to avoid paying her child support but I don't want to get hammered in process with any of her other ridiculous demands either. I just want a divorce and I think I've been more than fair with my offer. She'll get the child support, she can have all property (and sell what she doesn't want, i.e. my tools, MG, etc) and the only bills she needs to pay are HER credit cards and the truck - I'll pay the rest.

I first thought that I could go to court, tell the judge what I'm offering, tell him what she wants and then let him decide - since custody isn't an issue - but it appears that isn't possible. If you have any information that might help me in this area it would be greatly appreciated. As it stands right now I'm thinking of withdrawing my petition for divorce in TX and filing in NC - which is where we were married and my current state of residence.

Thanks again,
cdiaz1

 

[Military Dad]

Your situation is so close to mine it's almost scary.

Your attorney is correct about the 30% issue, mine said the same thing. If you’re an E-5? that would put your payments around the $350 mark. I find it interesting that your willing to give up $650 plus car payments? You'll also be paying for your Childs Med/Dental insurance, which will cost peanuts while your still in the service. Ask your wife how much that would cost in the civilian world? It aint cheap brother. I use the word "brother" because I'm a fellow E-5.

I said it before and I'll say it again...make damn sure you ask your attorney about the base pay issue, I'm almost positive they cant consider BAH, SEPRATS, Uniform Allowance and Haz duty pay as income, and therefore cannot factor this in when calculating the above mentioned 30%.

Lord knows we don’t make much money, and I hate seeing someone get raked over the coals for lack of knowledge.