Illinois Divorce

[IZZI13]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? IL

My wife and I are getting a divorce after 14 years of marriage. She is now telling me that because we live in McLean county and I'm a man that I would not be able to get custody of my kids. That McLean County always sides with the mother. She has made a visitation schedule and will not budge from that in any way.

We are currently in mediation and I have been trying to work things out with her but it's eother her way or we fight this out in court. How true is this. Neither one of us can afford to fight this out in court. With the way things are financially right now, we can bearly afford getting the divorce let alone fighting this out in a long court battle. Can anyone help shed some light on this for me?

Thanks
IZZI

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? IL

My wife and I are getting a divorce after 14 years of marriage. She is now telling me that because we live in McLean county and I'm a man that I would not be able to get custody of my kids. That McLean County always sides with the mother. She has made a visitation schedule and will not budge from that in any way.

We are currently in mediation and I have been trying to work things out with her but it's eother her way or we fight this out in court. How true is this. Neither one of us can afford to fight this out in court. With the way things are financially right now, we can bearly afford getting the divorce let alone fighting this out in a long court battle. Can anyone help shed some light on this for me?

Thanks
IZZI

One thing that IS true, is that if the two of you cannot come to an agreement, then the only other option is that the judge will decide. There isn't any way around that.

As far as who might win in a custody battle...who has been the primary caretaker of the children?

Who cooks their meals, washes their clothes, supervises their homework, stays home from school with them when they are sick, who takes them to the doctor and other appointments, etc.?

What kind of schedule is mom proposing?

 

[mistoffolees]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? IL

My wife and I are getting a divorce after 14 years of marriage. She is now telling me that because we live in McLean county and I'm a man that I would not be able to get custody of my kids. That McLean County always sides with the mother. She has made a visitation schedule and will not budge from that in any way.

We are currently in mediation and I have been trying to work things out with her but it's eother her way or we fight this out in court. How true is this. Neither one of us can afford to fight this out in court. With the way things are financially right now, we can bearly afford getting the divorce let alone fighting this out in a long court battle. Can anyone help shed some light on this for me?

Thanks
IZZI

There's no county in the country where it is impossible for a man to get custody, so she's blowing smoke.

Granted, it is harder in some counties than others and a consultation with a local attorney would tell you what your county is like.

Joint legal custody is pretty much standard in most places unless there are extraneous factors which make one parent unfit. Joint physical custody is nowhere near standard, but is growing. It is the default by statute in some areas. If she is unfit and you can prove it, then you should ask for sole custody. Otherwise, determine whether you can handle joint physical custody. Not everyone can. If the two of you can't handle it, then one of you will have to have primary physical custody and the determining factor is (at least theoretically) what is better for the kid(s).

You may not be able to afford an attorney, but it's even more likely that you can't afford NOT to have an attorney, at least for a consultation.