I'm desperate

[fedupinnc]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NC
I want a divorce. My husband has turned into a religious fanatic.He walks around the house speaking in tongues and has even told me and the children we would go to hell if we didn't leave the church we attend. He is out of work and not really actively searching. He basically sits home all day long and plays on the computer or visits questionable websites. I work,pay all the bills, and take care of all the children's needs. I have health insurance coverage on the children as well as dental. We own our home. I pay the mortgage and mortgage insurance. His name is on the deed, but I am primary on the mortgage. HOW do I get him out of the house and out of my life? He says he will never divorce because that is a sin in God's eyes.

 

[mistoffolees]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NC
I want a divorce. My husband has turned into a religious fanatic.He walks around the house speaking in tongues and has even told me and the children we would go to hell if we didn't leave the church we attend. He is out of work and not really actively searching. He basically sits home all day long and plays on the computer or visits questionable websites. I work,pay all the bills, and take care of all the children's needs. I have health insurance coverage on the children as well as dental. We own our home. I pay the mortgage and mortgage insurance. His name is on the deed, but I am primary on the mortgage. HOW do I get him out of the house and out of my life? He says he will never divorce because that is a sin in God's eyes.

You will have to file for divorce and request possession of the house.

Unfortunately, if he won't leave, you're going to have trouble getting a no-fault divorce. Of the fault grounds for divorce, it looks like #4 might fit the bill, but see a local attorney.
North Carolina Divorce Source: Grounds for Divorce: North Carolina

If you feel that you or your children are ever in danger, then IMMEDIATELY seek a protection order. That will effectively remove him from the house, as well.

 

[Bali Hai]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NC
I want a divorce. My husband has turned into a religious fanatic.He walks around the house speaking in tongues and has even told me and the children we would go to hell if we didn't leave the church we attend. He is out of work and not really actively searching. He basically sits home all day long and plays on the computer or visits questionable websites. I work,pay all the bills, and take care of all the children's needs. I have health insurance coverage on the children as well as dental. We own our home. I pay the mortgage and mortgage insurance. His name is on the deed, but I am primary on the mortgage. HOW do I get him out of the house and out of my life? He says he will never divorce because that is a sin in God's eyes.

Sounds like he has sacrificed his career opportunities and stayed home with the children and that enabled you to develop your career and earning power.

Have you thought about how much alimony you will be offering?

 

[fedupinnc]

boy you misread that one

The children are in school. He doesn't do anything with them. I take them to soccer, baseball, school functions. I make sure they have lunch money. I make sure that they get to the doctor and dentist. He has been out of work only a year, but he is not actively looking for work. He has not sacrificed any career opportunites. He has however chosen a fanatical religious pathway that involves him being with his church family way more than his own children.
What are you trying to do? Push my buttons? I guess some people can put a twist on anything they read.

 

[Proserpina]

The children are in school. He doesn't do anything with them. I take them to soccer, baseball, school functions. I make sure they have lunch money. I make sure that they get to the doctor and dentist. He has been out of work only a year, but he is not actively looking for work. He has not sacrificed any career opportunites. He has however chosen a fanatical religious pathway that involves him being with his church family way more than his own children.
What are you trying to do? Push my buttons? I guess some people can put a twist on anything they read.

I say this to newbies and senior members alike:

Check your poster's - or your respondent's - post history. It can be quite revealing. Y'know?

 

[mistoffolees]

What are you trying to do? Push my buttons? I guess some people can put a twist on anything they read.

Just ignore Bali. He almost never has anything useful to say and his only role is to play the fool.

 

[fedupinnc]

fearful though

The reason that I haven't made any drastic moves is because of lawyers or judges in the world like Bali who just might, in their twisted mind think that I have somehow done something to deserve this or that he deserves custody of the children or because he's out of work I'd have to pay alimony or child support. I am a school teacher, so I'm not rich. I've worked hard all my life and I just want to be happy and not have to deal with his craziness.

 

[mistoffolees]

The reason that I haven't made any drastic moves is because of lawyers or judges in the world like Bali who just might, in their twisted mind think that I have somehow done something to deserve this or that he deserves custody of the children or because he's out of work I'd have to pay alimony or child support. I am a school teacher, so I'm not rich. I've worked hard all my life and I just want to be happy and not have to deal with his craziness.

Look up the rules for alimony in your state. That will give you an idea of whether it's applicable.

Ultimately, you need to decide if you want to stay or leave. Once you've made that decision, you can figure out the rest. You should probably talk with an attorney to understand your options and what is likely to happen.

 

[Ohiogal]

The children are in school. He doesn't do anything with them. I take them to soccer, baseball, school functions. I make sure they have lunch money. I make sure that they get to the doctor and dentist. He has been out of work only a year, but he is not actively looking for work. He has not sacrificed any career opportunites. He has however chosen a fanatical religious pathway that involves him being with his church family way more than his own children.
What are you trying to do? Push my buttons? I guess some people can put a twist on anything they read.

Actually it is likely that he can receive alimony from you. You are allowing this by not moving for divorce.

 

[LdiJ]

The reason that I haven't made any drastic moves is because of lawyers or judges in the world like Bali who just might, in their twisted mind think that I have somehow done something to deserve this or that he deserves custody of the children or because he's out of work I'd have to pay alimony or child support. I am a school teacher, so I'm not rich. I've worked hard all my life and I just want to be happy and not have to deal with his craziness.

Its by no means guaranteed that you would have to pay alimony. He has only been out of the workforce for a year, and apparently that is somewhat by choice.

It also doesn't sound like he can demonstrate that he has been the primary caregiver to the children either, therefore child support is also unlikely.

File for divorce ASAP and ask for temporary possession of the marital home, based on the fact that you are the only one capable of paying the mortgage/rent. Also ask for temporary custody of the children based on the fact that you have been their primary caretaker and that they should remain the in marital home with you.

Do not however, allow things to go on much longer.

 

[Bali Hai]

Its by no means guaranteed that you would have to pay alimony. He has only been out of the workforce for a year, and apparently that is somewhat by choice.

It also doesn't sound like he can demonstrate that he has been the primary caregiver to the children either, therefore child support is also unlikely.

File for divorce ASAP and ask for temporary possession of the marital home, based on the fact that you are the only one capable of paying the mortgage/rent. Also ask for temporary custody of the children based on the fact that you have been their primary caretaker and that they should remain the in marital home with you.

Do not however, allow things to go on much longer.

You can spin it your way and I'll spin it my way.

 

[Bali Hai]

Just ignore Bali. He almost never has anything useful to say and his only role is to play the fool.

Know it all numbskulls should not throw stones.

 

[Bali Hai]

The reason that I haven't made any drastic moves is because of lawyers or judges in the world like Bali who just might, in their twisted mind think that I have somehow done something to deserve this or that he deserves custody of the children or because he's out of work I'd have to pay alimony or child support. I am a school teacher, so I'm not rich. I've worked hard all my life and I just want to be happy and not have to deal with his craziness.

So if the court doesn't rule the way you think it should rule, your position would be that the judge has a twisted mind?

 

[fedupinnc]

Thanks

Thanks to those who truly are trying to be helpful. To those of you who are not, remember that people who are asking for help are doing so because they need it. When you come on a site like this and do anything other than try to help, you are playing with people's emotions. This is just plain mean and wrong. Guess this is a still a free country, but purposefully being obtuse is just hateful.

 

[Proserpina]

Thanks to those who truly are trying to be helpful. To those of you who are not, remember that people who are asking for help are doing so because they need it. When you come on a site like this and do anything other than try to help, you are playing with people's emotions. This is just plain mean and wrong. Guess this is a still a free country, but purposefully being obtuse is just hateful.

There's a reason why I advised you to look at the posting histories of those who respond