Impending divorce?

[mdmquincy]

TN- Divorce

My husband of 16 years has abandoned my family and has been gone for a little over 3 months. He has no desire whatsoever to come back he says, and he is belligerent and hostile--a far cry from the genteel man of a few months ago.

Anyway, I received papers in the mail last week for an uncontested divorce. I have 30 days to respond. I do not wish to be divorced, but I understand the law will offer me little protection. Therefore, I wish now to delay my divorce in hopes that my husband may leave his midlife crisis and low character and return to the man I love. I know--it's a long shot.

So, I called the attorney that I consulted with to show him the papers and pay the retainer. Well, first he didn't return my call, and then, when I did get an appointment, he left me waiting for over an hour. I know he was working, because I could hear him in the background (so much for confidentiality) and he made several calls (seemingly non-urgent), while knowing I was still waiting. So, I left. He can kiss that retainer goodbye. I now have to find a new lawyer. Nonetheless, I am glad I saw this pattern before I paid the retainer, not after.

Any advice for me until I can find a new lawyer? Any advice on delays? midlife crisis, narcissistic rage, aggressive abandonment, etc?
J

 

[CourtClerk]

If you don't have a job, start looking for one.

If you can't afford where you live, start looking for somewhere else to live.

After 3 months, he's not coming back. He doesn't want to be married anymore. Deal with that.

 

[mdmquincy]

Also, my husband has "agreed" to delay the divorce until January so that I may finish up my schoolwork (grad school). However, he has already revoked and reinstated that promise once this week.

 

[mdmquincy]

Well, I was warned you guys were brutal....

Yes, my "husband" doesn't want to be married anymore, but he is not himself. Others can see that as well.

I have a full-time job, but cannot permanently afford my home. I want to stay throughout the summer though.

I don't know how squatter's rights apply to my children.
J

 

[mistoffolees]

Well, I was warned you guys were brutal....

Yes, my "husband" doesn't want to be married anymore, but he is not himself. Others can see that as well.

I have a full-time job, but cannot permanently afford my home. I want to stay throughout the summer though.

I don't know how squatter's rights apply to my children.
J

I would start making plans for getting rid of the home. You're not going to be able to do it until the divorce is final and/or you get a court order, but it won't hurt to be thinking about where you're going to go, fix little things in the home, keep up the yard, etc. You might even contact a realtor.

I don't know what you're referring to about squatter's rights, but if he left the house and you have full responsibility for the kids now, you're likely to get primary physical custody without too much difficulty.

You are right not to sign anything without discussing it with an attorney. There's too much at stake.