International Marriage and Adultery Accusations

[alkalinesurge]

What is the name of your state? Pennsylvania

I am from Pennsylvania. I was married to my husband September 1st 2003 in the UK - he is a British Citizen and still lives in the UK.

We were only together in person from September 1st to September 28th after our marriage, then again from December 6th to January 3rd. We have no children or property together at all.

I left him January 3rd. I have not had contact from him since that day, only from his parents. His parents told me they would be filing for divorce on September 1, 2004 and that I was not allowed to file for divorce in the USA.

I just got the divorce papers today, and I do not understand them. He is claiming I committed adultery in December and that a child resulted from that affair, and that is why he is divorcing me.

My child's due date was October 17th, the conception date was January 25th - I left my husband on January 3rd.

The papers also say:

The Petitioner therefore prays:-

1. That the said marriage may be dissolved;

2. (this is x'ed out and I cannot read it)

3. That he may be granted the following ancillary relief:-

i. an order for maintenance pending suit
ii. periodical payments order
iii. a secured provision order
iv. a lump sum order
v. a property adjustment order
vi. an order under section 24B, 25B or 25C of the Act of 1973 (Pension Sharing/Attachment Order)

---

I do not understand what he is after. I am a mother of two children, and am the only source of income. I have a job where I work full time and make under $1000 a month (Below the poverty line in the state of Pennsylvania for a family of 3). I did not engage in a sexual relationship before I left him on January 3rd.

Am I able to file in the USA? or must I retain a lawyer in the UK, if so there is no way I can afford one.

Please advise.

 

[stealth2]

For starters, this is for US law only - I don't think anyone here is knowledgeable in UK law.

Just because you left him doesn't mean it's not adultery. You were married. You had a relationship with someone else. That's still adultery. That it was only three weeks after leaving him doesn't say anything stellar about you, to be honest. He may well have reasons to believe that you were unfaithful prior to the conception date.

Had you filed in PA as soon as you reestablished residency, you likely would have been fine. However, now that there is a filing elsewhere, you likely can't. So you can either default on the divorce action in the OK, or you can get a solicitor there to protect whatever rights you might have.

 

[alkalinesurge]

First of all no one asked you to judge me. What I am unclear about is whether I have the ability to file in the USA and what the wording means as I posted above, ie what he is seeking from me.

I truly hope you don't act like such a righteous ******* to all people who appeal for assistance on this forum.

I also have emails from him to my mother stating he never believed I cheated on him, that it was something they came up with. I was trapped at his parents home when I lived with him in the UK, I had no car, no money, I left on my own once to go babysitting a friend's child, and and the only other time I was in touch with the person he now claims I cheated on him with, he was there, as was my child. I left him because he attempted to have sex with me while I was unconcious.

I was under the impression when both parties agree that the marriage should be disolved it is a seperation and once there is a seperation adultery cannot be committed. This is what is causing my confusion, as well as the wording of the divorce papers I recieved. If you cannot help or do not wish to help, keep your OPINIONS to yourself. All I am interested in is fact.

 

[stealth2]

Well, a judge isn't likely to be much impressed either, so get used to it. A separation is just that - it's not a divorce, and you're still married. Hence, adultery. Sorry you don't like that turn of events.

And again, now that papers have been filed in the UK, that's where the divorce will be.

Be glad I withheld my opinions on parenting.

 

[alkalinesurge]

So you still do not know for certain, nor can you say with any sort of authority that if it has been file by a spouse in the UK it is bound to stay there. I suppose pretending to know what you're talking about on an anonymous meassage forum gives you a great deal of pleasure. In the meantime, I have gone about looking for information regarding this situation. I am glad that the law is not as narrowminded as you

http://www.dterry.demon.co.uk/divorce2.html

"Incidentally, it is particularly important to be alive to this possibility because the courts care not a jot that one of the parties to the marriage has committed adultery if they are asked to decide upon any matter relating either to the financial aspects or to the children. The fact of adultery is irrelevant to either of these legal decisions and the days of the courts "punishing" someone for adultery in questions involving child custody or capital division or whatever are long since over. One must therefore be particularly aware of the psychological rather than strictly legal advantages of this ground for divorce."

As you can see, in the UK you cannot be "punished" financially or via custody for adultery. Which is some of the information I was after.

Thank you so much for wasting my time and revealing yourself for a narrowminded twit


ALSO, just another FYI:

http://www.dterry.demon.co.uk/divorce9.html

"Sometimes a couple can obtain a divorce in more than one country. In that case one such country may be more favourable to one party than the other and so the question of where the divorce takes place can be a significant issue."

"The wife then returns to the US before divorce proceedings have been concluded here. She in turn issues a divorce petition in the US. She is almost certainly entitled to to that on the basis of her American domicile although, of course, that sort of question will depend on the local law of the jurisdiction. There are now two divorce petitions legitimately issued and the English courts have to decide which of them should proceed."

"There are in fact rules about how cases such as this should be decided. If the wife in the above example wanted the proceedings to be heard and determined in the US (because, for instance, she wanted a pre-nptial agreement enforced) then she would have to apply to the English divorce court to have the husband's divorce petition "stayed". If she were successful in such an application then the husband would be prevented from proceeding with the divorce in England and the US courts would deal with the divorce."

 

[stealth2]

And which part of "US Law Only" was hard for you to understand. I stated that up front, that noone here likely knew UK law. So get off your high horse and quit dragging your kids through your love affairs, eh?

 

[alkalinesurge]

Yes being with 3 men in 26 years of life is really "dragging my kids through" "love affairs". Most people my age manage to go through that many in one night.

My children are both happy and healthy and well cared for, I work from home and they are very lucky they are not bummed into a daycare for 8 hours a day.

Talk about high horses...pot..kettle...black

---

My questions were not in regards to UK law, it was in regard to jurisdiction and legal terminology, none of which you could answer accurately or with any sort of helpfulness. If you do intend to troll legal boards, I suppose it would be a good idea to make yourself aware of laws and leave your opinions to yourself.

 

[stealth2]

Jurisdiction is clear - a divorce action has already been filed in the UK.

As for legal terminology, since UK law differs significantly from US law, it's impossible to interpret the papers you got from the UK.

 

[alkalinesurge]

You may have missed this since I edited it but:

ALSO, just another FYI:

http://www.dterry.demon.co.uk/divorce9.html

"Sometimes a couple can obtain a divorce in more than one country. In that case one such country may be more favourable to one party than the other and so the question of where the divorce takes place can be a significant issue."

"The wife then returns to the US before divorce proceedings have been concluded here. She in turn issues a divorce petition in the US. She is almost certainly entitled to to that on the basis of her American domicile although, of course, that sort of question will depend on the local law of the jurisdiction. There are now two divorce petitions legitimately issued and the English courts have to decide which of them should proceed."

"There are in fact rules about how cases such as this should be decided. If the wife in the above example wanted the proceedings to be heard and determined in the US (because, for instance, she wanted a pre-nptial agreement enforced) then she would have to apply to the English divorce court to have the husband's divorce petition "stayed". If she were successful in such an application then the husband would be prevented from proceeding with the divorce in England and the US courts would deal with the divorce."

Apparently I can "shop for jurisdiction".

If you didn't know from the get go, why not just say that you didn't know instead of being such an arse - really. Did it make you feel better to insult a stranger today?

Thanks so much for your time

 

[stealth2]

Do you realize how your situation is different from the one you cited? And why it may not apply to your divorce?