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  1. #1
    wazungu is offline Junior Member
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    internet porn grounds for divorce??

    What is the name of your state? Texas
    Hi- my husband of 6 years has been secretly viewing internet porn whenever he knows I won't be around the house. I am sick of it and worried how certain aspects of it may affect our daughter, since his interests include, among other things, hidden camera footage and, (how to put this delicately) teen self-action, or girl on girl. I have never found child porn on our computer, but should I worry about these secret activities? Can I use this activity as grounds for divorce or to keep him from seeing our daughter (she's only 3).
  2. #2
    nextwife is offline Senior Member
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    Adult consentual sexual activity is NOT illegal. He is free to view such content privately. If it is an issue for you, you need to decide how you wish to deal with it. But he cannot be "punished" in any court action for viewing legal adult porn.

    And it cannot be used to deny him access to his child. Free speech constitutional issue and all that.
  3. #3
    ceara19 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by wazungu
    What is the name of your state? Texas
    Hi- my husband of 6 years has been secretly viewing internet porn whenever he knows I won't be around the house. I am sick of it and worried how certain aspects of it may affect our daughter, since his interests include, among other things, hidden camera footage and, (how to put this delicately) teen self-action, or girl on girl. I have never found child porn on our computer, but should I worry about these secret activities? Can I use this activity as grounds for divorce or to keep him from seeing our daughter (she's only 3).
    You don't need a reason for divorce in Texas. Even if you want to prove fault, hubby viewing legal porn isn't proof of anything, except that he is a man that likes to look at naked women. It would also be ill advised to even attempt to use this to limit his parenting time in any way whatsoever.
  4. #4
    wazungu is offline Junior Member
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    thanks for the response nextwife.
  5. #5
    nextwife is offline Senior Member
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    It's not a big deal for him to have fantasies of watching girls together, so to speak. LOTS of men think that's sexy.

    Hon, why don't you give him something sexy of your own to look at? Go out and buy some luscious lingerie, send the kid to spend the night at aunty or grandma, and surprise him with a few tricks of your own (and, no I don't mean TRicks THAT way).

    I'm so glad I'm a geezer mom. By age 51, you don't get shocked so easilly!
  6. #6
    wazungu is offline Junior Member
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    "It would also be ill advised to even attempt to use this to limit his parenting time in any way whatsoever"
    Why is this a bad idea? I am not sending my baby to his custody when he might be doing that stuff with her in the house. If she is alone with him, who will be there to protect her? I'm not saying I think he is a danger to her right now, because if I did, we would not be with him. But down the road, as a teenager, how do I know that he won't turn his attentions on her? What's to stop her from being the object of his "hidden camera teen m********ion" fantasy? I don't want to set my child up to be victimized someday. Besides, kids are smarter than most adults with technology. I don't want to risk her using his computer and stumbling across his "dirty little secret." Who knows how something like that might affect a kid.
  7. #7
    nextwife is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by wazungu
    "It would also be ill advised to even attempt to use this to limit his parenting time in any way whatsoever"
    Why is this a bad idea? I am not sending my baby to his custody when he might be doing that stuff with her in the house. If she is alone with him, who will be there to protect her? I'm not saying I think he is a danger to her right now, because if I did, we would not be with him. But down the road, as a teenager, how do I know that he won't turn his attentions on her? What's to stop her from being the object of his "hidden camera teen m********ion" fantasy? I don't want to set my child up to be victimized someday. Besides, kids are smarter than most adults with technology. I don't want to risk her using his computer and stumbling across his "dirty little secret." Who knows how something like that might affect a kid.
    You already said it was NOT child porn. Good grief. Viewing porn does NOT make a guy an automatic sexual predator! Nor does it in any way make them suspect of desiring incest! It is a legal, and somewhat more than you may realize, common activity. When I was younger., there was no internet, but guys had vdeos and Playboy stashed away to look at in secret. That did NOT make them dangerous. While some dangerous guyys may view porn, that doesn't mean porn alone makes a guy dangerous!

    She is THREE. What she may or may not see on his computer in over a decade cannot be used to deny his his child.
  8. #8
    wazungu is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by nextwife
    It's not a big deal for him to have fantasies of watching girls together, so to speak. LOTS of men think that's sexy.

    Hon, why don't you give him something sexy of your own to look at? Go out and buy some luscious lingerie, send the kid to spend the night at aunty or grandma, and surprise him with a few tricks of your own (and, no I don't mean TRicks THAT way).

    I'm so glad I'm a geezer mom. By age 51, you don't get shocked so easilly!

    good advice- I wish it were that easy. The sad fact is that I will never be good enough for him and even back in college when I was a little thinner and our bedroom was a lot hotter, he was involved in this stuff. It took about four years for me to realize that this is his issue to deal with, which he has promised to do, but never has. I really object to the idea of him seeking out footage of unsuspecting people engaged in private behavior. It scares me that I have a daughter who will one day be one of these teens he has been seeking footage of. She will have friends and cousins who will want to sleep over. When do you stop looking at this as his private fetish and start worrying about how it could affect others to whom he has unrestricted access? At 51, you may know or know of someone who was victimized because one parent turned a blind eye to warning sings about another trusted adult. What do you think? Just want to do the right thing.
  9. #9
    Bali Hai is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by nextwife
    It's not a big deal for him to have fantasies of watching girls together, so to speak. LOTS of men think that's sexy.

    Hon, why don't you give him something sexy of your own to look at?

    You've got to be kidding! I didn't need to read the rest of these posts to figure out that tons of fun has plenty to look at.

    Go out and buy some luscious lingerie,

    I think that would take more than a "few" sheets sewn together. Might want to contact a few sellers in the garment district and put in the order early. Plan on your own lingerie purchases to go down unless you want to pay outrages prices.

    send the kid to spend the night at aunty or grandma, and surprise him with a few tricks of your own (and, no I don't mean TRicks THAT way).

    I'm so glad I'm a geezer mom. By age 51, you don't get shocked so easilly!
    Don't encourge her, she's probably broke the bed frame more than once. Probably pisses the old man off when he has to pay to get it fixed.
  10. #10
    ceara19 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by wazungu
    "It would also be ill advised to even attempt to use this to limit his parenting time in any way whatsoever"
    Why is this a bad idea? I am not sending my baby to his custody when he might be doing that stuff with her in the house. If she is alone with him, who will be there to protect her? I'm not saying I think he is a danger to her right now, because if I did, we would not be with him. But down the road, as a teenager, how do I know that he won't turn his attentions on her? What's to stop her from being the object of his "hidden camera teen m********ion" fantasy? I don't want to set my child up to be victimized someday. Besides, kids are smarter than most adults with technology. I don't want to risk her using his computer and stumbling across his "dirty little secret." Who knows how something like that might affect a kid.
    WHY??? Because you can end up losing custody if you do. This country would be overrun with parentless children if viewing LEGAL porn was enough of a reason to keep them away from their parents. A person that looks at adult porn is no more likely to end up molesting a CHILD then anyone else.
  11. #11
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by nextwife
    Adult consentual sexual activity is NOT illegal. He is free to view such content privately. If it is an issue for you, you need to decide how you wish to deal with it. But he cannot be "punished" in any court action for viewing legal adult porn.

    And it cannot be used to deny him access to his child. Free speech constitutional issue and all that.
    While that is true, she mentioned teen self-action. I am thinking teenagers engaged in masturbation -- which depending on the age of the girls may be illegal. If they are 18 legal. If they are purportedly below the age of 18, then illegal. If the little girl is exposed to it -- daddy is viewing it with the child in the room -- then that is illegal.
  12. #12
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by wazungu
    good advice- I wish it were that easy. The sad fact is that I will never be good enough for him and even back in college when I was a little thinner and our bedroom was a lot hotter, he was involved in this stuff. It took about four years for me to realize that this is his issue to deal with, which he has promised to do, but never has. I really object to the idea of him seeking out footage of unsuspecting people engaged in private behavior. It scares me that I have a daughter who will one day be one of these teens he has been seeking footage of. She will have friends and cousins who will want to sleep over. When do you stop looking at this as his private fetish and start worrying about how it could affect others to whom he has unrestricted access? At 51, you may know or know of someone who was victimized because one parent turned a blind eye to warning sings about another trusted adult. What do you think? Just want to do the right thing.
    Again, look you have been told, viewing adult porn does not mean he is into little kids or any children. Adult pornography is legal and you cannot deprive dad based on this hobby of his. How do you know this people are unsuspecting that they are being taped? Lots of people tape themselves and post it on the internet. Your argument that he likes to look at naked girls does not prove that he has any interest in children or that he is a danger. Do the right thing? What it sounds like is you want to deprive daddy of anything and everything that you can because you want to divorce him. The law doesn't work that way. Dad has equal rights to the child unless you can PROVE that he is an unfit parent and an immediate danger to the child. Which you can't.
  13. #13
    BelizeBreeze is offline Senior Member
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    I am not sending my baby to his custody when he might be doing that stuff with her in the house. If she is alone with him, who will be there to protect her? I'm not saying I think he is a danger to her right now, because if I did, we would not be with him. But down the road, as a teenager, how do I know that he won't turn his attentions on her? .[/QUOTE]
    Oh BROTHER!!!
    Do yourself a favor. Go out and buy a tube of KY and loosen up that tight ass. How do you even know the actors in the files are teens? How do you know the actors in the films do not KNOW they are being taped? If you look at a man passing in the street should he be able to claim in court that you are a danger to the child because you MIGHT have wild monkey sex with a stranger on the couch while she's watching Scooby Doo?

    Lady, you really really really need a vibrator.
  14. #14
    whyUcryin is offline Member
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    The sad fact is that I will never be good enough for him and even back in college when I was a little thinner and our bedroom was a lot hotter, he was involved in this stuff. It took about four years for me to realize that this is his issue to deal with, which he has promised to do, but never has.

    Dude he's a GUY!! It probably has nothing to do with you. You do, like BB said, need a vibrator to loosen the hell up!!
  15. #15
    nextwife is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by wazungu
    I really object to the idea of him seeking out footage of unsuspecting people engaged in private behavior.
    Man, if our poster REALLY believes these so-called "secret sex tapes" are REALLY secret, and not bogus and staged, I have a nice bridge to sell her.

    Same with the so-called "teen sex tapes'. Everyone KNOWS that the truth is stretched more than a little bit in marketing of these tapes, and the "teens" shown are likely not teens at all. But a guy can still indulge a fantasy that he's himself a hot teen lover when he watches the tapes.

    The judge will laugh her out of the courtroom if she starts carrying on about him viewing legal, adult porn to keep him away from his daughter to "protect her".

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