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Jurisdiction?

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crayiii

Member
What is the name of your state? OR

My wife and I of 8 years (married in NV) moved from Washington State (3-years) to Oregon. We lived in Oregon for 6-months and she took our child (5-years old) and moved to Alaska to be with her boyfriend. I’m still in Oregon and she is still in Alaska (7-months).

She went 2-months denying me phone conversations with my son. I finally heard from her boyfriend who told me that he was now the child’s dad and I would not be allowed to speak to him. I called her and left a message telling her that it was time I simply moved to Alaska so I didn’t have to rely on her to answer the phone when I called so I could speak to my boy. She called right back and told me she would let me talk to him the next day.

I called the next day and my son got on the phone and said “I love you, Ray”. I asked why he didn’t call me “dad” and he said “mom says I have a new dad and you are now Ray”. I let him know that I will always be his Dad and that I wanted him to call me dad. I could hear his mom in the background telling him to call me “Ray”.

So, here are a few questions:

1) Is there anything that can be done to get her to stop telling my son these things?
2) What state has jurisdiction over our marriage? Custody?
3) She has threatened to keep moving from state to state to keep me from seeing my son. Can I do anything about this?
4) She will not provide me with an address to send letters, gifts, etc.
 


crayiii

Member
I haven't and she keeps telling me that she is going to but then sends me dissolution papers to sign, one set from Alaska, and one from Oregon. I just tossed them.
 

BelizeBreeze

Senior Member
crayiii said:
I haven't and she keeps telling me that she is going to but then sends me dissolution papers to sign, one set from Alaska, and one from Oregon. I just tossed them.
That was intelligent. Guess you don't really care now do you? :rolleyes:
 

crayiii

Member
In the papers (she downloaded) she is asking for everything and visitation is stated simply as "open". I'm not going to sign them.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
crayiii said:
In the papers (she downloaded) she is asking for everything and visitation is stated simply as "open". I'm not going to sign them.
Jaysus Christ! Did it ever occur to you to talk to a lawyer about how to handle this? Pull your thumb out of your a$$ and start by calling one PRONTO.
 

BelizeBreeze

Senior Member
stealth2 said:
Jaysus Christ! Did it ever occur to you to talk to a lawyer about how to handle this? Pull your thumb out of your a$$ and start by calling one PRONTO.
Me thinks a glass of Port would do wonders for the moment ;)
 

crayiii

Member
I'll be honest...

I don't want a divorce. I understand that it's going to happen but I don't WANT one. The thought of my son growing up without his mom and dad around everyday, hurts me very much. I'm being stupid, I know, thinking that things will work out. I'm just depressed... I go home everyday to a house filled with my son's toys, family pictures, wife's clothes, our stuff...

I have an appointment first thing in the morning with an attorney I found in the yellow pages.

I'm not sure what, if anything, I can do about the live in boyfriend and their actions to keep me away from my son. The only way I was able to start calling was because she forgot to block the number one time when she called me. They won't give me their address for cards or gifts.

My wife and her BF have stated that if I move to be closer to my children, they will simply move again. She told me that he has 4 homes in 4 different states and they would just keep moving from home to home to keep me away.

One of the reasons I'm SO concerned about this is because she has a daughter from a previous marriage that I raised as my own. During that time, she did all the same tactics she is doing now to keep this childs father away. She told her daughter that her father, Tim, was a dummy, called him “beaker”, “bird”, and “nose” in front of her and encouraged her to do the same. she demanded that her daughter call me “dad” and to call her father by one of the above names.

I did my best to stay out of that situation but I was told about so much abuse, neglect, etc., that I went along with limitting the contact but not the name calling.
 
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stealth2

Under the Radar Member
So you KNEW what she was like, yet still thought fathering a child with her was a brilliant idea? <sigh>
 

crayiii

Member
I did not know that what she was telling me about her ex was not true. How many people think about interviewing ex's, background checks, all that before getting married? Maybe now but what about 8-years ago?

Regardless, I take full responsibility for marrying her! Yes, I did it! I'd like to say I wish I hadn't but I have a wonderful son from the relationship that I wouldn't have if I didn't.

Hind sight is 20/20 so I can either spend the rest of my life beating myself up for decisions I made in the past or I can try to move on. I have decided to move on but I must make sure my child is included.
 

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