Just graduated, father wants diploma

[qwer9182]

What is the name of your state? Ohio

Hi,

I just graduated from high school and my father is asking for a copy of my diploma but is not giving me a reason as to why. My father is the kind of man that is not very likely to leave my life alone and not get involved in it. He is very anxious to get it but I am being very skeptical as to why it is he needs it. The only reason he gave was after asking several times and he said that he needed to "send it to the county as part of a divorce agreement to finish the paperwork." I was wondering if anyone was familiar with reasons why a copy of a diploma would need to be sent to the county (as if they couldn't find out from the school that I graduated) and if this is something that I should be believing or not. My father is a very sick man and I do not feel comfortable doing some of the strange things he asks me to do. Is the reason he gave legitimate or do you think he is not telling me the truth?

 

[stephenk]

Is your mom still receiving child support? The divorce decree may state that child support ends once you graduate high school or turn eighteen, whichever comes first. He may be ready to file a motion to terminate support.

 

[qwer9182]

Aren't there other ways for him to file this motion if this is the reason? I have been eighteen for almost a year now. Is there any reason that I would definitely have to give it to him? I mean, it is mine, isn't it? Can he not end child support without it? Will an imperfect copy work? If there was another way I would feel better having him take that route. If it is the only way he can end child support, perhaps we have some dealin' to do...

 

[stealth2]

The reason he gave you is completely legitimate. For you to use it as a bargaining chip is somewhat sleazy, to be honest. There's not much else (if anything) he can use it for, so how about being an adult and giving him a copy.

 

[djohnson]

Just curious if you know when his child support is suppose to stop? If it says through school then he may still have to pay through college (if that is in your plans). As long as he isn't trying to end it early, then I see no reason not to let him have a copy.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

My response:

The scenario - -

"Hey, dear old Dad. How are you these days? You know, I'll be glad to send you a fully notarized, and certified, copy of my diploma. No problem.

However, you know, notary's, certifications, and postage can be so expensive these days. How about if you deposit $15,000.00 into my Swiss bank account (here's the acct. number: XXXXXXX), I'll be more than happy to have a copy sent to you in 10 days."

Signed, your loving son,

IAAL

 

[hexeliebe]

My response:

The scenario - -

Dear Loving Son;

Thank you so much for your letter. I found it both heartwarming and wonderful to know you have grown into such a wonderful example of Malthusian Economics.

The check is in the mail.

Signed,

Your loving father

 

[VeronicaGia]

Aren't there other ways for him to file this motion if this is the reason? I have been eighteen for almost a year now. Is there any reason that I would definitely have to give it to him? I mean, it is mine, isn't it? Can he not end child support without it? Will an imperfect copy work? If there was another way I would feel better having him take that route. If it is the only way he can end child support, perhaps we have some dealin' to do...

What is the problem? He needs it to stop paying support! Do you hate him that much? Is it really too much to ask from you?

BTW, what do you mean by "an imperfect copy?" Did you really graduate or did you get an online "diploma?"

How sad; this is what it's come to.....

Also, Ohio Age of Majority:

18 years of age, or as long as the child attends high school on a full time basis or a court order requires the duty of support to continue. Unless specified in the court order, no duty of support extends beyond the nineteenth birthday of the child.

 

[kat1963]

Dear Son;

Copy of your imperfect diploma was received. Didn’t pass again huh? Unfortunately for you, according to state law, you have to be in school full time for child support to continue. Failing gym for the 3rd time isn’t going to work this year son. Don’t you feel embarrassed still being in HIGH school at 20 years old? Most your classmates have their Associate Degrees by now.

Hope you enjoyed the Monopoly money, because that’s all you’ll be seeing from me.

Signed;

Your Loving, but not stupid Father.

 

[qwer9182]

What is the problem? He needs it to stop paying support! Do you hate him that much? Is it really too much to ask from you?

BTW, what do you mean by "an imperfect copy?" Did you really graduate or did you get an online "diploma?"

How sad; this is what it's come to.....

Also, Ohio Age of Majority:

18 years of age, or as long as the child attends high school on a full time basis or a court order requires the duty of support to continue. Unless specified in the court order, no duty of support extends beyond the nineteenth birthday of the child.

Will it work okay if the copy I make is good enough so that you could tell that it is a diploma but not a copy that could be used for much else? I'm not a professional photocopier, so it may just happen to turn out that way. I do really hate him, and feel bad because the divorce agreement was according to us spending 50% of the time at his house, which we never did. Would he have to continue paying until I am 19 if he doesn't get it? He is making me madder and madder as he is emailing and calling very proactively and (as he always has been) is simply not interested in me myself. Should I ask my mom what she wants me to do? I don't believe he has asked her about it, which is wierd. Should I just give a copy of it to her and let her deal with it as she desires? He has been "holding" a bunch of savings bonds for me that he claims are for college, but he may not pay out as he has a record of doing such things in the past. If they really are mine for college, should I be getting them?

 

[hexeliebe]

What you should do is go to kinkos, run a copy of the diploma, send it to him, get on with your life and grow up.

geeez kid. If you hate him so much why are you keeping him in your life by playing games?

 

[qwer9182]

I have very reasonable concern about this. I mean, what if years later he claims he needs a copy of other documents? What if he says that he needs something from my college? When/how will I know that it has crossed the line? To this day he has wanted to see everything of mine, and I thought that since high school is over now that the privacy invasion would end as well. He has done nothing but play games with me. I feel that he is not being a man by not giving me the full truth/explanation of this. Is there a reason why he would not be saying why?

 

[hexeliebe]

Send it or not, that is your decision. But if you do send it and you are serious about getting him out of your life tell him that by you sending this you want it to be the last contact you have with him.

Then get on with your life. Once you are an adult, (18) you can decide who to allow into your life and who to keep out.

SO WHAT if he wants things later in life? Unless he's paying your bills he has the same rights as anyone else who asks something of you.....and that is NADA!

Don't allow the game to continue. Give it to him and be done with it. Then if he contacts you in the future, it's your right to throw the letter in the trash.

 

[kat1963]

Know what? It takes BOTH of you to stop playing games. Give him a damn copy. Once support is terminated he won't have any more rights over you ever again. He doesn't need a copy of your diploma in order to do so. NOR will he have an obligation to support you ever again either. Providing him with a copy just might get you some support (financial & emotional) as you go on in life. Being a brat...heck, I guess, you just might get nothing.
Just like Dad eh?
KAT

 

[cecilboy]

You obviously have a great dislike for your father, but do you think maybe he was trying to keep you out of the divorce, only after you questioning him numerous times did he give you a reason. Actually, a very legitimate reason. What are you afraid that he will do with it? So what if he has a copy, what can he do with it?