Law change?

[frostbyte3964]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Utah

Instead of just being a disgruntled man in a bad divorce and talking all sorts of trash about my wife and the law, I'd like to know how one would go about getting the laws changed? Aren't laws suppose to be fair? I really want to do something about this. I have tons of time on my hands now that I'm not allowed to be a dad and husband.

[cyjeff]

You write your congressman/woman.

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by frostbyte3964

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Utah

Instead of just being a disgruntled man in a bad divorce and talking all sorts of trash about my wife and the law, I'd like to know how one would go about getting the laws changed? Aren't laws suppose to be fair? I really want to do something about this. I have tons of time on my hands now that I'm not allowed to be a dad and husband.

According to women, the laws are fair. According to men, the laws aren't fair.

What's fair in a woman's mind and what's fair in a man's mind are 180 degrees apart because the two are wired differently. You are getting fair treatment according to the mind of a woman.

Good luck getting the laws changed. Keep us posted.

[Proserpina]

Originally Posted by Bali Hai

According to women, the laws are fair. According to men, the laws aren't fair.

What's fair in a woman's mind and what's fair in a man's mind are 180 degrees apart because the two are wired differently. You are getting fair treatment according to the mind of a woman.

Good luck getting the laws changed. Keep us posted.

Somewhat ironic given that the vast majority of lawmakers are, and always have been...male. Not female.

[cyjeff]

Originally Posted by Dogmatique

Somewhat ironic given that the vast majority of lawmakers are, and always have been...male. Not female.

SHHHHH...

You are harshing the buzz.

[Blue Meanie]

Originally Posted by frostbyte3964

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Utah

Instead of just being a disgruntled man in a bad divorce and talking all sorts of trash about my wife and the law, I'd like to know how one would go about getting the laws changed? Aren't laws suppose to be fair? I really want to do something about this. I have tons of time on my hands now that I'm not allowed to be a dad and husband.

Exactly what law is it you wish to have changed?

[frostbyte3964]

An example of what our law would allow.

Millionaire man finds homeless woman and wants to be a nice guy to this unfortunate woman who is down on her luck and has nothing. He brings her into his home and they get married or even just live together in some states. All is well. She becomes a prominent wife of a very rich man and gets all the nicest things. They have 2 kids. One of millionaires friends decides he also likes her now and he is a billionaire. She leaves her husband for no reason other than because she likes billionaire better and he has more money. They don't plan to get married or let it be known they may or may not be living together. The marriage was 5 years. In a divorce, she could very well be given 1/2 his assets she had no part of making possible. Possibly the house and cars and 1/2 retirement and he looses his kids other than every other weekend and an evening a week. The kids lives are ruined as far as family life goes and will be emotionally scared likely for life. Husband has to pay child support possibly more than they even cost and he'll have to pay his wife 5 years of alimony so she can maintain her standard of living.

That's fair, right?

[frostbyte3964]

Then the insanity of the law causes millionaire to go insane since it is basically taking away everything that is important in his life and he looses his job, but can't find a new one since he can't get over the law and can't afford to pay child support. He then looses the rest of his money so she can continue her standard of living and he gets put in jail.

[Proserpina]

Originally Posted by frostbyte3964

An example of what our law would allow.

Millionaire man finds homeless woman and wants to be a nice guy to this unfortunate woman who is down on her luck and has nothing. He brings her into his home and they get married or even just live together in some states. All is well. She becomes a prominent wife of a very rich man and gets all the nicest things. They have 2 kids.

Dad's choice. He's chosen to do this. He wasn't forced.

One of millionaires friends decides he also likes her now and he is a billionaire. She leaves her husband for no reason other than because she likes billionaire better and he has more money. They don't plan to get married or let it be known they may or may not be living together. The marriage was 5 years. In a divorce, she could very well be given 1/2 his assets she had no part of making possible. Possibly the house and cars and 1/2 retirement and he looses his kids other than every other weekend and an evening a week.

Highly unlikely - she would be more likely to get half of what was earned etc during the marriage...but not before. You're making a huge assumption that, given your example, is unlikely.

Also, the underlined portion makes no sense - he would be dealing with visitation of that nature whether he was Rockefeller or JoeLivesInCardboardBox. He could possibly be the custodial parent, too.

The kids lives are ruined as far as family life goes and will be emotionally scared likely for life. Husband has to pay child support possibly more than they even cost and he'll have to pay his wife 5 years of alimony so she can maintain her standard of living.

That's fair, right?

Yes, it's ABSOLUTELY fair that he is supporting his children. Why is that unfair? Would he prefer not to support his children?

And who, incidentally, decides what children actually " cost"?

As for the emotional scarring....Dad AND Mom have a responsibility to get the kids into counseling asap to help them deal with the divorce. If the kids are messed up, blame lies with both parties.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by frostbyte3964

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Utah

Instead of just being a disgruntled man in a bad divorce and talking all sorts of trash about my wife and the law, I'd like to know how one would go about getting the laws changed? Aren't laws suppose to be fair? I really want to do something about this. I have tons of time on my hands now that I'm not allowed to be a dad and husband.

Your example that you used wasn't a very a good one.

You will never convince anyone that dividing property that accrued during the marriage is unfair. (except maybe Bali) Gifts, inheritances and property owned prior to a marriage are already exempt, so its only what accrued during the marriage. You would honestly be spinning your wheels to try to get anything changed there.

Alimony is a different kettle of fish, and state law varies quite significantly on the issue of alimony...and alimony is a state issue, its not something that would be addressed by the feds.

There are also a gazillion different scenarios where alimony is concerned.

Let me give you another one:

Wife works while her husband is in medical school or law school. He graduates and starts working and tells her that he doesn't want her to work, he wants her to stay home with the kids.

They have a better than comfortable lifestyle, have 3 kids and 20 years later she is injured in a car accident and becomes wheelchair bound. Husband handles the stress of this poorly and starts having an affair with a collegue, and decides he wants a divorce. Should this wheelchair bound woman have to live in poverty, without medical insurance, because he no longer wishes to be married?

Or, should he have to support her for life if she is utterly unable to work, or should he have to support her until she can get an education that allows her to make a decent living, even wheelchair bound?

My point is, that "fairness" is going to be very individual, based on each couple's circumstances, history and background. Therefore its difficult to craft laws that do not allow judges to have descretion in how they decide cases.

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by Dogmatique

Somewhat ironic given that the vast majority of lawmakers are, and always have been...male. Not female.

Male politicians will vote against what they believe in for the people who put them in power and vote in laws the way women's lobby wants them to vote.

It's time for men to band together and kick the jerks out of office.

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by LdiJ

Your example that you used wasn't a very a good one.

You will never convince anyone that dividing property that accrued during the marriage is unfair. (except maybe Bali)

That hurts LD.

Gifts, inheritances and property owned prior to a marriage are already exempt, so its only what accrued during the marriage. You would honestly be spinning your wheels to try to get anything changed there.

Alimony is a different kettle of fish, and state law varies quite significantly on the issue of alimony...and alimony is a state issue, its not something that would be addressed by the feds.

There are also a gazillion different scenarios where alimony is concerned.

Let me give you another one:

Wife works while her husband is in medical school or law school. He graduates and starts working and tells her that he doesn't want her to work, he wants her to stay home with the kids.

They have a better than comfortable lifestyle, have 3 kids and 20 years later she is injured in a car accident and becomes wheelchair bound. Husband handles the stress of this poorly and starts having an affair with a collegue, and decides he wants a divorce. Should this wheelchair bound woman have to live in poverty, without medical insurance, because he no longer wishes to be married?

Or, should he have to support her for life if she is utterly unable to work, or should he have to support her until she can get an education that allows her to make a decent living, even wheelchair bound?

My point is, that "fairness" is going to be very individual, based on each couple's circumstances, history and background. Therefore its difficult to craft laws that do not allow judges to have descretion in how they decide cases.

You always without question pick a senario where ANYONE reading would agree that the wife needs support beyond the marriage.

You use that senario to justify alimony in ANY case. Without saying it, you believe that men are financially obligated to pay women when the marriage ends under ALL circumstances.

You want to "punish" the men because you believe that men are scoundrels and that's why women decide to divorce them. If the man wants the divorce, he must pay because he hurt that poor woman and it serves him right.

I have NEVER once seen you admit to a woman who came here with questions that she would likely pay alimony even though the circumstances were exactly the same where you advise that men would likely pay alimony.

Bottom line is that you believe that men should pay alimony and women should not pay alimony, and that's exactly how the jerk judges rule on the matter because they don't want to get the poor defenseless women "upset".

[mistoffolees]

Originally Posted by Bali Hai

You always without question pick a senario where ANYONE reading would agree that the wife needs support beyond the marriage.

You use that senario to justify alimony in ANY case. Without saying it, you believe that men are financially obligated to pay women when the marriage ends under ALL circumstances.

Only in your imagination. Ldij has never taken the position that men should always pay alimony. In fact, she has stated on numerous occasions that the chances of alimony are dependent on a wide range of issues.

Originally Posted by Bali Hai

You want to "punish" the men because you believe that men are scoundrels and that's why women decide to divorce them. If the man wants the divorce, he must pay because he hurt that poor woman and it serves him right.

I have NEVER once seen you admit to a woman who came here with questions that she would likely pay alimony even though the circumstances were exactly the same where you advise that men would likely pay alimony.

Bottom line is that you believe that men should pay alimony and women should not pay alimony, and that's exactly how the jerk judges rule on the matter because they don't want to get the poor defenseless women "upset".

Again, only in your imagination. Virtually every poster here acknowledges that women should pay alimony when appropriate just as men should.

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by mistoffolees

Only in your imagination. Ldij has never taken the position that men should always pay alimony. In fact, she has stated on numerous occasions that the chances of alimony are dependent on a wide range of issues.



Again, only in your imagination. Virtually every poster here acknowledges that women should pay alimony when appropriate just as men should.

Your "lip service" is noted and LD's as well. In practice however, that's NOT the way it works.

You both can BS some of the people all of the time, all of the people some of the time, but you can't BS all the people all the time!

Give me an honest guess of what percent of the people who come here asking questions about "paying" alimony are women. My guess is less than
.1%.

That's right, 99.9% of the people who come here expecting to pay alimony and asking questions about it are men. I have seen possibly two women come here asking about "paying" alimony. Does that tell you anything genius?

BTW, I have yet to figure out why your brain is wired like a woman.

[mistoffolees]

Originally Posted by Bali Hai

BTW, I have yet to figure out why your brain is wired like a woman.

I don't know about it being wired 'like a woman', but I'm just glad it's not wired like yours.