Leaving

[ginseng2]

What is the name of your state? PA
I've been married for 7 years and my husband and I have been sleeping in seperate quarters for 5 years. There is no intimacy in the marriage anymore. I've been depressed and on and off meds for about 4 years. He lives his life the way he wants by working out eating strict and pumping stearoids and other things centered around his body. I live my life sheltered in a room with a pc and television and try to spend as much time with my daughter as much as I can. She is my world to me. For years and years my husband has been spending money at peep shows and sniffing rush to get off sexually. Well I finally got tired of it and started talking to a man online which my husband knew about but failed to show me any affection after that. I made plans eventually to go see this man in CA I left my daughter behind with my husband because I didn't want him to be angry as hell. I grew very close to this man in a weeks time. When I came back the husband said he's willing to try to work things out. He has involved family members on both sides to build his ego. I told him that I have to make a choice. It's been very hard. I've been completely open with the truth and have not hidden from him anything. He told me if I leave he will get full custody because of my mental history and stability. He's threatening me by using family members and doctors to support him. I was hoping to take my daughter to CA for her to visit and see where she might like to stay. My intentions were NOT to take her there for good and steal her away from her father. But he's having a hard time with this and I'm really being manipulated to stay here. As for the house I could care less. He has since went to have the house refinanced to lower the monthly payment. I signed a good faith estimate and they are coming today to appraise it. What should I do come settlement time should I continue to follow through with signing it if my intentions are to leave this man? Any thoughts on this matter are greatly appreciated.
Thanks you
Ginseng2

 

[stealth2]

You're not in the greatest position, to be honest. You admit to suffering from depression for an extended period of time. You admit to meeting a man to whom you've become at least emotionally (if not also physically) attached - travelling out of state to meet him and leaving your child with her father. You're not going to be able to claim he's an unfit father because you DID leave her with him.

At this point, your best bet is to find a lawyer and figure out how to mitigate the damage you've caused.

 

[ginseng2]

Thanks but my intention was never to proove him an unfit father at all. He deserves to share in his daughter's life. As for the depression living without affection or love from my husband and him frequenting porn places is one of the reasons I became depressed. As for damage we both are to blame in this situation.
Let me just say I'm not out for blood.
~gemini~

 

[stealth2]

But you can expect that he will be, if he's already involving family and friends. You can expect that he will ask for full custody, and for you to pay child support. I don't know how old your daughter is, but it's unlikely that a court will support your taking her to CA to see where she'd like to live - kids don't make those choices. All things considered - if you continue with this plan, expect to be the non-custodial parent.