Like to ask question please.

[Connemarra]

What is the name of your state? NY. Married 25yrs, age 62. Husband and I lived in apartment in Bronx and also owned home in suburbs. March 2005, he was arrested at home in Sub for assaulting my son (not first time). Upon release went back to apt in Bronx changed # on credit cards and ATM cards and reported them stolen ( I was homemaker did not work). He hired an attorney and filed for divorce I could not, had no money I wanted to get mediator both he and Att, said no too late papers had already been filed with court. I called Legal Aid they said they could only help me when it came up on court calendar because husband made way too much money. I could not get anyone to take me pro bono. After waiting almost a year I finally called the courts to find out what was taking so long and they tell me it was never filed so both he and the Att, lied to me. I finally get an Att, over the internet from Westchecter to take me Pro Bono (he does not have an office) but I have no choice I have no money. We are now Nine months into this I am still living on only $430,00 a month I have no car it does not run I have to walk everywhere. In the mean time my husband just came back from a 10 day trip to Hawaii (not his first since March 2005) and just bought himself a 2006 car. He lives in the Bronx and works 5 mins from his home does not need a car plus he has a 2001 car . He had neither car when we split. I do not understand how he is getting away with all this, now my Att tells me that the Judge tells him we are being held hostage by The appraisal of his pension which may take another 2 or 3 months. And his Att wants to dipose me for a contested divorce that I never contested in the first place. I want to add here The Judge is a Suffolk County Court Judge, His Attorney is from Suffolk County. My Attorney Is from Westchester which is Out of town. Does any of this seem right?

[Ohiogal]

YOu may not be contesting the divorce itself but if you are asking for alimony or support and he doesn't want to give it then that IS contested. Not agreeing with the terms is contesting the divorce. The only way to live on 430.00 a month -- well you are going to have to find someway to make ends meet even if that means getting a local job or a job located off a busline and earning some income.

[Connemarra]

Well thanks for your help sure glad I wrote here, it is a mile and a half to the nearest bus stop, and the weather is cold here, and dark after 5 O.Oclock. So right I am going to walk in the dark at 5. O clock at night. LOL plus the buses run every hour so if I miss one I am stuck waiting an hour for another one. Not to mention sometimes they just don't even come atall. But thanks, all you had to say to me was no that sounds about right.

[Silverplum]

Originally Posted by Connemarra

Well thanks for your help sure glad I wrote here, it is a mile and a half to the nearest bus stop, and the weather is cold here, and dark after 5 O.Oclock. So right I am going to walk in the dark at 5. O clock at night. LOL plus the buses run every hour so if I miss one I am stuck waiting an hour for another one. Not to mention sometimes they just don't even come atall. But thanks, all you had to say to me was no that sounds about right.

Why are you whining? What good does it do you?

It's dark after 5 pm (daylight savings time) everywhere. What difference does it make?

If you need to ride the bus, ride the bus. If you need to save up for a car, do so. That's what everyone does.

[seniorjudge]

...And his Att wants to dipose me for a contested divorce that I never contested in the first place....

You must go to the deposition or you could lose everything.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by Connemarra

What is the name of your state? NY. Married 25yrs, age 62. Husband and I lived in apartment in Bronx and also owned home in suburbs. March 2005, he was arrested at home in Sub for assaulting my son (not first time). Upon release went back to apt in Bronx changed # on credit cards and ATM cards and reported them stolen ( I was homemaker did not work). He hired an attorney and filed for divorce I could not, had no money I wanted to get mediator both he and Att, said no too late papers had already been filed with court. I called Legal Aid they said they could only help me when it came up on court calendar because husband made way too much money. I could not get anyone to take me pro bono. After waiting almost a year I finally called the courts to find out what was taking so long and they tell me it was never filed so both he and the Att, lied to me. I finally get an Att, over the internet from Westchecter to take me Pro Bono (he does not have an office) but I have no choice I have no money. We are now Nine months into this I am still living on only $430,00 a month I have no car it does not run I have to walk everywhere. In the mean time my husband just came back from a 10 day trip to Hawaii (not his first since March 2005) and just bought himself a 2006 car. He lives in the Bronx and works 5 mins from his home does not need a car plus he has a 2001 car . He had neither car when we split. I do not understand how he is getting away with all this, now my Att tells me that the Judge tells him we are being held hostage by The appraisal of his pension which may take another 2 or 3 months. And his Att wants to dipose me for a contested divorce that I never contested in the first place. I want to add here The Judge is a Suffolk County Court Judge, His Attorney is from Suffolk County. My Attorney Is from Westchester which is Out of town. Does any of this seem right?

Do you have no family that could at least help you out with getting the car fixed.....or perhaps a job that is within walking distance of your home?

I hope that you feel confident in your attorney, because you need a strong one.

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by Connemarra

What is the name of your state? NY. Married 25yrs, age 62. Husband and I lived in apartment in Bronx and also owned home in suburbs. March 2005, he was arrested at home in Sub for assaulting my son (not first time). Upon release went back to apt in Bronx changed # on credit cards and ATM cards and reported them stolen ( I was homemaker did not work). He hired an attorney and filed for divorce I could not, had no money I wanted to get mediator both he and Att, said no too late papers had already been filed with court. I called Legal Aid they said they could only help me when it came up on court calendar because husband made way too much money. I could not get anyone to take me pro bono. After waiting almost a year I finally called the courts to find out what was taking so long and they tell me it was never filed so both he and the Att, lied to me. I finally get an Att, over the internet from Westchecter to take me Pro Bono (he does not have an office) but I have no choice I have no money. We are now Nine months into this I am still living on only $430,00 a month I have no car it does not run I have to walk everywhere. In the mean time my husband just came back from a 10 day trip to Hawaii (not his first since March 2005) and just bought himself a 2006 car. He lives in the Bronx and works 5 mins from his home does not need a car plus he has a 2001 car . He had neither car when we split. I do not understand how he is getting away with all this, now my Att tells me that the Judge tells him we are being held hostage by The appraisal of his pension which may take another 2 or 3 months. And his Att wants to dipose me for a contested divorce that I never contested in the first place. I want to add here The Judge is a Suffolk County Court Judge, His Attorney is from Suffolk County. My Attorney Is from Westchester which is Out of town. Does any of this seem right?

Your attorney should be petitioning the court for maintenance pendente lite and attorney fees.

You are going to need to contest because it's obvious that your husband is out to screw you over.

Half the value of the HI trip and the car should be yours.

Doesn't matter what county the judge is from. Many supreme court judges serve in multiple counties in NYS.

Sounds like you need another attorney as the one you have appears to be an ambulance chaser.

[Connemarra]

Originally Posted by Silverplum

Why are you whining? What good does it do you?

It's dark after 5 pm (daylight savings time) everywhere. What difference does it make?

If you need to ride the bus, ride the bus. If you need to save up for a car, do so. That's what everyone does.

First of all I am not whinning why are you sitting in judgement of me all I did was ask a question, I am very well aware of the fact it is dark after 5pm I believe I just said that why are you so snippy? It makes a lot of differernce when You have to walk a mile and a half on a road where there are no stores and no lights you do it, and tell me it makes no difference. You save for a car, when you are living on $430,00 a month, by the way I never asked any of you how to make ends meet all I asked you was if what was happening seemed right. So I did not need your self righeous answers then telling me I am whinning. Unreal

[Connemarra]

Originally Posted by seniorjudge

...And his Att wants to dipose me for a contested divorce that I never contested in the first place....

You must go to the deposition or you could lose everything.

Yes thank you I realize that I am going, which by the way I have to take three buses to get to LOL I just thought I would throw that in. Not whinning but I just can't believe the answers I got here.

[Connemarra]

Originally Posted by Bali Hai

Your attorney should be petitioning the court for maintenance pendente lite and attorney fees.

You are going to need to contest because it's obvious that your husband is out to screw you over.

Half the value of the HI trip and the car should be yours.

Doesn't matter what county the judge is from. Many supreme court judges serve in multiple counties in NYS.

Sounds like you need another attorney as the one you have appears to be an ambulance chaser.

Thank you so much for this answer, this is what I was trying to find out I just feel so blind here. My husband also has a business that is pretty much all cash ( this is apart from his job) and it is just not getting any attention just getting pushed under the rug. I just feel I am getting royal screwed here and I don't know what to do.

I can't get another attorney I have no money, I have to be in court 30th can I bring up the Hawaii trip and the car to the judge if my attorney does not?

[stealth2]

Originally Posted by Connemarra

It makes a lot of differernce when You have to walk a mile and a half on a road where there are no stores and no lights you do it, and tell me it makes no difference.

In the Bronx?!?!? Uuuuuhhh.... sorry - not buyin' it. Been there.

[Connemarra]

Originally Posted by stealth2

In the Bronx?!?!? Uuuuuhhh.... sorry - not buyin' it. Been there.

I do not live in the Bronx did you read my post he lives in the Bronx what is the matter with you people? I live out on the east end of Long Island why would I lie I am so sorry I ever found this site you are so nasty.

[stealth2]

Originally Posted by Connemarra

I do not live in the Bronx did you read my post he lives in the Bronx what is the matter with you people? I live out on the east end of Long Island why would I lie I am so sorry I ever found this site you are so nasty.

Maybe you should reread your posts and figure out why people can't understand what you're writing. 'Cause hon - it's not real clear.

[Connemarra]

Originally Posted by stealth2

Maybe you should reread your posts and figure out why people can't understand what you're writing. 'Cause hon - it's not real clear.

Well Hon there seem to be several who have no problem understanding what I said . So let me say this to you HON, OK, This site advertised as a free site for advice I at the moment am at the lowest Ican possibly be. You sound like a condescending know it all, HON, I hope you are feeling really really good about yourself and smug about calling me a liar. I came on here because I have no idea what to do and I just wanted some kind of help any kind of help. I am desperate why the Heck else would I post on here. And you have the nerve to first insinuatate I am lying and then smugly call me HON. How old may I ask are you HON? Did you read my post I am 62 yrs old was that not real clear HON?

[Connemarra]

Originally Posted by stealth2

Maybe you should reread your posts and figure out why people can't understand what you're writing. 'Cause hon - it's not real clear.

Well Hon there seem to be several who have no problem understanding what I said . So let me say this to you HON, OK, This site advertised as a free site for advice I at the moment am at the lowest I can possibly be. You sound like a condescending know it all, HON, I hope you are feeling really really good about yourself and smug about calling me a liar. I came on here because I have no idea what to do and I just wanted some kind of help any kind of help. I am desperate why the Heck else would I post on here. And you have the nerve to first insinuatate I am lying and then smugly call me HON. How old may I ask are you HON? Did you read my post I am 62 yrs old was that not real clear HON?