Looking for advise

What is the name of your state? California

Me and my wife are living apart for about 1 year. We are still leagally married and have one kid who is living with and taken care of by me. My wife is living with another guy and currently pregnant from him. Now she desided to move to another state with her boyfriend and wants to take our kid with her. Later she probably would collect some money from the gavernment or who knows what, she doesn't work and never wanted to, only's looking for the support from the man-husband.

My question is: what are my chances of having our kid with me and avoid any financial confusions in the future if I will start divorce prosses after she will move to the other state ? What is the best advice in this situation ? LAW especially in California is mostly on the women's side.

Thanks.

I would file for divorce, yesterday, ask for residential custody of the minor, child support, etc. What were the conditions that she left you and the child, abandonment?

File for divorce and go for primary residential (physical) custody and CS if you can get it. A great site for father's issues is [url]www.deltabravo.com.[/url] Also, [url]www.dadsdivorce.com[/url] if this site is still up - haven't checked in a while. CA is not necessarily pro-wife either.

According to [url]http://divorcenet.com/ca/ca-divorce.html[/url] (I suggest you read this thoroughly because it's got a lot of really good information), custody may be awarded to either parent (there's no presumption that custody will go to your wife). The fact that you've been caring for your child (please, a gentle reminder to drop the "my kid" - this slang will not go over well with a judge should it come to that) should argue on your behalf in an award of primary residential custody.

Drop all the [url] tags if you "cut and paste" into your browser.

You can file for divorce pro se "online" or by buying a book (from the divorcenet.com site) with forms but I highly recommend that you retain a lawyer if you anticipate any kind of custody battle.

Good luck.

There's no grounds for "abandonment" in CA, only "irreconciable differences" or "incurable insanity".

I understand there are no grounds in the dissolution for abandonment, my reference was in regard to custody. Child support is the law, the noncustodial parent does not have the option of not paying. Dont short your child...get it! Check out some of your local paralegal services. Most on this board suggest either the pro se or attorney route, forgetting or either just not knowing, paralegals provide the pro se litigant a valuable, affordable solution. Interesting point, if you hire an attorney, that attorney is going to hand your paperwork over to his/her paralegal or legal secretary to prepare your documents. And I agree...the "my kid" has to go.

He just may have trouble getting CS, though. My own brother's wife left my brother for another man, and left their three children, including a seven month old infant. My brother has a sole physical and legal custody now fortunately. I only meant that if the poster's stbx wife is as much as a lowlife as my brother's ex, especially since the poster's wife is not interested in employment and expects to live on government assistance, then he may have problem collecting CS, unless whatever/if ever form of "aid" she receives can be garnished to pay CS. My brother had to take his ex to court twice until she obeyed the court order to pay any CS. But first our poster needs to file for divorce and custody, and see if that "stirs the pot" for a custody fight.

I realize you run a paralegal service, Maggie, have you ever been involved in a custody fight? No disrespect intended, I just have no idea if paralegals help their clients with preparation of documents in this event.

No disrespect taken Cyana. To answer you, yes, we do prepare paperwork for custody issues. However our experience is that if the petition for divorce is prepared correctly, unless circumstances change significantly, custody issues are resolved, prior to the final decree.

I have also experienced a very long and heated custody battle personally. (1991-1994) My husband won custody of his 9 yr old daughter. The mother was ordered to pay child support. Of course she did not. We took her to court and oddly enough, she had just lost her job the day before every court hearing. A judge who can see past the garbage and smell a rat, will order the mother to pay child support regardless of her employment status, based on what she has made in the past. Or the mother can sit in jail, just like daddys can. You would be surprised how quickly a non-custodial parent will get a job with jail looming over their head. You have to stay on track, worry the hell out of CSE, the courts, etc. Child support is for the child and a parent who does not fight for it, is short changing their child.

Let's hope our poster is feeling more empowered now.

I am glad everything ultimately worked out well for you family now. It finally worked out okay for my brother, too. His ex ran off with another man and claimed she was unemployed, which she had been since their first child was born eight years prior. She had no real job skills either and didn't seem to want any. No, she had no interest in being a Mom" either, just wanted to play and do drugs.

Fortunately, the DE family court system does not look favorably upon women had abandon their young children and my brother had to take her to court twice, once to obtain sole and legal custody (she wanted joint) and once for non-payment of the really puny amount of CS she was ordered to pay. She then got a "real" job and my brother was able to file for a modification of CS and now receives a more reasonable amount.

Thats wonderful Cyana! Never give up is my motto. That attitude works well in my profession and my personal life. I hope the poster will pick up on the need to stay focused. Thanks!