Marital debts AFTER the divorce

[Ex Is Nuts]

What is the name of your state? OK

OK, I have to ask this, because I was taken aback by what was written in another post.

My ex and I are splitting the marital bills 50/50. But according to the thread I read, just because the court order says she gets bill "X", it does not obsolve me from being liable for bill "X". Is this correct? How can I obsolve myself from being liable for the debts that are awarded to HER?

This also brings another thought to mind.... I am taking one family home, she is taking the other. How do I obsolve myself from being liable for the debts on the one she is taking? I had requested that she refinance to get my name off of the note, however, she and her lawyer have asked that we have a "hold harmless" provision instead because she doesn't have the money to refinance. However, if the original contract with the lender supercedes the hold harmless provision, then rightfully, if she defaults, then they can come after me, then I have to pay it and then try to get the money back from HER, correct? (Which is like trying to grab and turn a greased doorknob).

I hate to sound paranoid, but she is VERY bad about not paying her bills.... I don't want to end up getting stuck in a potientially BADDDDDDDDDD situation, Someone straighten me out here as to what I need to do to best protect myself in this divorce please..... Thanks!!!!!

 

[Ex Is Nuts]

Anyone????????

 

[VeronicaGia]

What is the name of your state? OK

OK, I have to ask this, because I was taken aback by what was written in another post.

My ex and I are splitting the marital bills 50/50. But according to the thread I read, just because the court order says she gets bill "X", it does not obsolve me from being liable for bill "X". Is this correct? How can I obsolve myself from being liable for the debts that are awarded to HER?

***This is correct. You signed a contract with mortgage companies, credit cards, whatever. A judge cannot override those contracts. A judge can make an order and enforce the order, but the creditors still have every right to come after anyone who signed on as a borrower.

This also brings another thought to mind.... I am taking one family home, she is taking the other. How do I obsolve myself from being liable for the debts on the one she is taking? I had requested that she refinance to get my name off of the note, however, she and her lawyer have asked that we have a "hold harmless" provision instead because she doesn't have the money to refinance. However, if the original contract with the lender supercedes the hold harmless provision, then rightfully, if she defaults, then they can come after me, then I have to pay it and then try to get the money back from HER, correct? (Which is like trying to grab and turn a greased doorknob).

*** I'm not sure what a "hold harmless" provision is but I hope you didn't sign it. It sounds like since she cannot refinance, if the house goes into foreclosure, your credit will suffer and she will be held harmless, but that's just a guess. Either way, until the mortgage is out of your name completely, you will be held responsible by the mortgage company.

I hate to sound paranoid, but she is VERY bad about not paying her bills.... I don't want to end up getting stuck in a potientially BADDDDDDDDDD situation, Someone straighten me out here as to what I need to do to best protect myself in this divorce please..... Thanks!!!!!

Your best bet is to try to get her to sell the house she's in, split the equity (or give her all the equity) and make her buy a new house in her own name, with her own credit.

 

[Ex Is Nuts]

Thanks for the reply VeronicaGia, I really appreciate it. Ever since I read that other post, I have spent muc timethinking about this and mulling it over, ,trying to makethe "right" decision.


Well, the hold harmless provision basically says that in the event of a default on her part, I will be "held harmless". However, I'm beginning to think no matter what form of document is signed, I will still be held liable in the event of a default on her part because the contract with the mortgage co supercedes any form of agreement she and I make, or any form of order from the court regarding our divorce. Would that be a correct assumption?

I realize that I could sue her...... WHOOPIEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! I think we all know where that would lead me though.... Grrrrrrr! All I would get is a piece of paper that is worth less than the ink that is on it.

Next thing is, if she defaulted, and I had to actually sue her over it (and won the suit), if she then turned around and claimed bankruptcy, then the law suit I had previously won in that situation becomes totally null and void, does it not?

There's only 20K left on the mortgage... so I'm considering one alternative, and I would appreciate some advice on this..... I was thinking of making a stipulation, that if she defaults on the note, or fails to pay the taxes, the home defaults to me, with me owing her nothing in regards to equity or other expenses.... the home becomes mine free and clear (and I'd obviously have a lot of catching up on bills to do on it by the time it went into default). What do you think about that idea? It sure would have to be worded good though to avoid any loopholes or pitfalls. I am considering this because I know it is in the best interests of the children, and that is very important to me. I am still not without hope that my ex and I will someday be able to atleast be friends too. Yes, I realize that this "stipulation" is very beneficial to me in the even that she defaults, but you never know where life is going to take you, and what sort of situation you will be in if/when that time comes (it could be "combersome" if it came at a bad time). And certainly, by the time she goes into default, my credit will have already suffered badly. Not only that, if she falls behind on the mortgage, it's hurting MY credit. Hmmm.... I might ought to think about this a little more, because she COULD get behind on payments, but not bad enough to ever get into default, which would be tearing my credit up without me getting any compensation out of it (except that my kids are warm and dry, which is very important too). Hmmmmmmmmm......

suggestions please??????????

 

[VeronicaGia]

Thanks for the reply VeronicaGia, I really appreciate it. Ever since I read that other post, I have spent muc timethinking about this and mulling it over, ,trying to makethe "right" decision.


Well, the hold harmless provision basically says that in the event of a default on her part, I will be "held harmless". However, I'm beginning to think no matter what form of document is signed, I will still be held liable in the event of a default on her part because the contract with the mortgage co supercedes any form of agreement she and I make, or any form of order from the court regarding our divorce. Would that be a correct assumption?

***Yes, the family court will hold you harmless, meaning they won't make you pay, but if you signed a contract with the mortgage company, you will still be liable to pay. And if she signed the contract too, she would also be held liable to pay. Any contract you sign, no matter what the judge decides, you are liable for payment of.

I realize that I could sue her...... WHOOPIEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! I think we all know where that would lead me though.... Grrrrrrr! All I would get is a piece of paper that is worth less than the ink that is on it.

**Yes, and this will not help your credit. The mortgage company will still hold both of you responsible.

Next thing is, if she defaulted, and I had to actually sue her over it (and won the suit), if she then turned around and claimed bankruptcy, then the law suit I had previously won in that situation becomes totally null and void, does it not?

**Correct to the best of my knowledge.

There's only 20K left on the mortgage... so I'm considering one alternative, and I would appreciate some advice on this..... I was thinking of making a stipulation, that if she defaults on the note, or fails to pay the taxes, the home defaults to me, with me owing her nothing in regards to equity or other expenses.... the home becomes mine free and clear (and I'd obviously have a lot of catching up on bills to do on it by the time it went into default). What do you think about that idea? It sure would have to be worded good though to avoid any loopholes or pitfalls. I am considering this because I know it is in the best interests of the children, and that is very important to me. I am still not without hope that my ex and I will someday be able to atleast be friends too. Yes, I realize that this "stipulation" is very beneficial to me in the even that she defaults, but you never know where life is going to take you, and what sort of situation you will be in if/when that time comes (it could be "combersome" if it came at a bad time). And certainly, by the time she goes into default, my credit will have already suffered badly. Not only that, if she falls behind on the mortgage, it's hurting MY credit. Hmmm.... I might ought to think about this a little more, because she COULD get behind on payments, but not bad enough to ever get into default, which would be tearing my credit up without me getting any compensation out of it (except that my kids are warm and dry, which is very important too). Hmmmmmmmmm......

**You also may not know about it until your credit has been damaged big time. My advice to you is to ask for the above stipulation along with one that states she has to refinance the house within one year or she loses all interest in the house. You will not sign a quit claim deed to the home until she is approved for refinance. If she defaults on any payments, mortgate or taxes, or if she does not refiniance within one year, she has to vacate the premises, she will not be entitled to get anything back, and you take over the house. The problem is getting her and a judge to agree with all this. Personally, I think you need to get her to refinance before the divorce is final or take the house yourself, or sell it and split the equity.

suggestions please??????????

 

[Ex Is Nuts]

Ahhhh, thank you very much AGAIN for the reply.

I think I am just going to ask her to refinance. Otherwise, I would be tied into her debts for the next 15 years, and the more I think about it, the more I dislike it.

There are 2 houses involved... I am keeping one, she the other. The equities are about equal, so we are each keeping a house, with no money exchange (so if she sells, all the equity is hers). The house I am keeping is mortgaged in my name only, so she doesn't have to worry whether or not I pay the bills. Hers however, is in both, and I can just see the "writing on the wall" of where this might could lead.

I have a feeling it is going to piss her off to force the refinance issue, but I HAVE to protect myself. Civil suits don't do much for a person, especially when the person they are suing has nothing to offer. And more than likely, she WOULD just claim bankruptcy to avoid having to repay.

I think I will give some thought to YOUR suggestion though, about giving her one year to refinance, or the house becomes mine. That is a very good suggestion, and one I had not thought of. It will certainly give her some motivation to get it done, and gives her a little time to come up with the funds necessary to refinance. Yes, good idea.

Again, thank you very much for your response. It is highly appreciated......