Marital Problems (sexual) - lead to divorce?

What is the name of your state? What is the name of your state? Mississippi
I am having problems in my marriage, and am concerned that my husband may be considering divorce. Our biggest problem is my lack of desire to "have sex" with him. Can he divorce me on grounds of not providing sex for him on a consistent basis?

He is also the kind of person who does not like to talk about his feelings and resolve problems. He broods and dwells on issues, then "thinks" he has resolved the problems in his mind, and then just "advises" the other party (i.e., myself) of "his" solution, without even considering the other parties ideas or insights as to how to resolve the solution.

We have been together for ten years, 5 of which we have been married. I have a 12 year old daughter from a previous marriage, but he has never legally "adopted" her.

Any information you can provide would be helpful. Thank you, and God bless!

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

Originally posted by carole1963
What is the name of your state? What is the name of your state? Mississippi
I am having problems in my marriage, and am concerned that my husband may be considering divorce. Our biggest problem is my lack of desire to "have sex" with him. Can he divorce me on grounds of not providing sex for him on a consistent basis?

He is also the kind of person who does not like to talk about his feelings and resolve problems. He broods and dwells on issues, then "thinks" he has resolved the problems in his mind, and then just "advises" the other party (i.e., myself) of "his" solution, without even considering the other parties ideas or insights as to how to resolve the solution.

We have been together for ten years, 5 of which we have been married. I have a 12 year old daughter from a previous marriage, but he has never legally "adopted" her.

Any information you can provide would be helpful. Thank you, and God bless!

My response:

All States have either "No Fault" or "No Fault" and "Fault" dissolution grounds. If he chooses to file a Petition, he might choose the "No Fault" avenue which, in that case, he doesn't need an "excuse" to divorce you. The ground would be, or akin to, "irreconcilable differences." That's it.

I hope you have seen a doctor to determine whether your sexual dysfunction is either physical or emotional. While you didn't mention your age, many pre-menopausal women experience what you are saying. You may be suffering from a hormonal imbalance.

Or, it could just simply be that you don't like the "slug" anymore.

IAAL

[vrzirn]

Our unhappy poster doesn't desire to "have sex"with him. Specifically, the husband. Continually repressed anger and frustration during the day hardly leads to a loving relationship at night. Therefore, her attitude is, "If you are finished, get off me, you slug".
Counseling may be of some benefit in resolving their differences.

IAAL and vrzirn,

Gosh, you two really go out of your way to romanticize sex, don't you? ;-)

Originally posted by I AM ALWAYS LIABLE


My response:

All States have either "No Fault" or "No Fault" and "Fault" dissolution grounds. If he chooses to file a Petition, he might choose the "No Fault" avenue which, in that case, he doesn't need an "excuse" to divorce you. The ground would be, or akin to, "irreconcilable differences." That's it.

I hope you have seen a doctor to determine whether your sexual dysfunction is either physical or emotional. While you didn't mention your age, many pre-menopausal women experience what you are saying. You may be suffering from a hormonal imbalance.

Or, it could just simply be that you don't like the "slug" anymore.

IAAL

Dear IAAL,
Thanks for the info. I am 39 (will be 40 in March of 2003); and I have already considered the "health" issues. However, with our current "homelife" situation, I feel that it relates more to lack of interest on my part due to the fact that he shows very little "interest" in me outside of wanting "sex". So, I suppose to sum it up, I guess you're right in the suggesting of not liking the "slug" any more.

I appreciate your time. This is a very interesting website, and I hope to look into some other issues out here as well. Thanks, and have a great day!

Carole

Originally posted by vrzirn
Our unhappy poster doesn't desire to "have sex"with him. Specifically, the husband. Continually repressed anger and frustration during the day hardly leads to a loving relationship at night. Therefore, her attitude is, "If you are finished, get off me, you slug".
Counseling may be of some benefit in resolving their differences.

Dear vrzirn,

Counseling is not an option because "he" feels that there is nothing wrong with him; therefore, why does he need counseling?? He honestly "believes" that he is perfect, and does not need to change. He thinks all of our "problems" lie within "ME". I've had several people tell me to "try harder". I don't happen to believe that a marriage can work with only one partner trying to make it work. As the saying goes "it takes two to tango". I cannot make it work by myself. So maybe the best option is for us to "part our ways", as much as I hate it. We used to have a wonderful relationship (granted, we've had our share of problems just as any couple).

Anyway.....thanks for the input and for listening. Have a great day!