married to a gambler

[Gambler Wife]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Wisconsin

My soon to be X husband says I have to let him know daily how our 17 year old is. SHe has nothing to do with him will not talk to him has her phone blocking any attempted calls. i think he just does this to have contact with me. I have joint legal with primary with me. He leaves the 18,19 year old out of it, but says I must talk to him daily to let him know how she is he has made no move to see any of them in 6 months, the kids are 17,18,19 two in college and one home he pays only on the 17 year old. Now he is lying on his financial about his rent he lives in our lake camper that is permannetly parked and rent is paid through 5/2010 by us prior to him leaving.

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Wisconsin

My soon to be X husband says I have to let him know daily how our 17 year old is. SHe has nothing to do with him will not talk to him has her phone blocking any attempted calls. i think he just does this to have contact with me. I have joint legal with primary with me. He leaves the 18,19 year old out of it, but says I must talk to him daily to let him know how she is he has made no move to see any of them in 6 months, the kids are 17,18,19 two in college and one home he pays only on the 17 year old. Now he is lying on his financial about his rent he lives in our lake camper that is permannetly parked and rent is paid through 5/2010 by us prior to him leaving.

Did you have a legal question?

 

[Zigner]

Did you have a question?

 

[Gambler Wife]

do I have to tell him how she is daily?

 

[Proserpina]

do I have to tell him how she is daily?

Where's the harm in that?

 

[mistoffolees]

do I have to tell him how she is daily?

Not daily, but since you have joint legal, he has every right to know how she is and to be kept informed of important issues.

I don't think there's any firm rule on how frequent he needs to be informed. I don't think I'd make any effort for a daily news report, but once a week or so, I'd drop him an email letting him know that she's OK and for him to ask if he has specific questions. There's no harm and it will prevent the situation where he could go to court and cause you problems if you NEVER tell him what's going on.

 

[LdiJ]

Not daily, but since you have joint legal, he has every right to know how she is and to be kept informed of important issues.

I don't think there's any firm rule on how frequent he needs to be informed. I don't think I'd make any effort for a daily news report, but once a week or so, I'd drop him an email letting him know that she's OK and for him to ask if he has specific questions. There's no harm and it will prevent the situation where he could go to court and cause you problems if you NEVER tell him what's going on.

While I don't necessarily disagree with this, I don't necessarily agree with it either.

The child is 17 and will be 18 in less than a year, and therefore not subject to court orders in less than a year...and no judge is going to buck the wishes of a 17 year old in a brand new divorce case that isn't even finished yet. (unless of course the parent she wants to live with is unfit). I also don't think a judge would send a 17 year old to go live with their other parent in a camper either...LOL.

There comes a point when a parent has to own up to why their 17, 18 and 19 year old children want nothing to do with him/her...and I don't think its up to the other parent to hold their hand once kids get to that age...particularly in a brand new, not yet finished divorce.

His demanding that his stbx communicate with him daily regarding the child is clearly an attempt at "control" on his part.

Of course there is nothing wrong with her shooting him a email once a week or so to update him, but unless it would violate a provision of their custody orders, I don't think that she is required to do it either, unless something occurs that he needs to be informed about.

 

[Proserpina]

I don't disagree, really. I'm just a huge fan of not necessarily rocking the boat when the end of the tunnel is drawing nearer and nearer

(yes, I'm more inclined - in this one - to just end the man's whining and give him his daily update, if only for a quiet life until he no longer has anything to use as a weapon against either Mom or the kids)

 

[LdiJ]

I don't disagree, really. I'm just a huge fan of not necessarily rocking the boat when the end of the tunnel is drawing nearer and nearer

(yes, I'm more inclined - in this one - to just end the man's whining and give him his daily update, if only for a quiet life until he no longer has anything to use as a weapon against either Mom or the kids)

If the child was 15 or 16 maybe I would agree...but not when the child is 17 and its a new, not yet finalized divorce.

In my opinion it would be a quieter life to just ignore the other parent...and let them deal with their own relationship with the child.

I really am serious about this. If a parent doesn't have a strong enough relationship with their child at 17 that it survives a split from the other parent, then I have no sympathy.

 

[cyjeff]

How about a daily text?

heck, set it up to go off automatically, "She's great but moody" should cover it.

 

[Gambler Wife]

thanks for the advice I like it some days you feel so alone out here!